Speed Bump

We have hit a speed bump, of sorts, in our adoption process. I'll detail what I can.

This morning I got on the US Govt's website to find information to start working through this adoption on an immigration level. I downloaded a form called an I-600A, which is the form I thought I needed. Then I got a number of someone in the State Dept (I think anyways) and called her and left a message. Her name is Thelma and she is in the "Adoption Office." Then I called and found out the location of our local USCIS Field Office, which is in Des Moines. I thought that's where we had to drop off our paperwork once finished. I called a few more people and got a few more numbers, etc. This took up a fair amount of my morning.

In the early afternoon Thelma called back. She informed me that she was new to India (working on Indian adoptions) so she had asked the lady who was previously responsible for India to sit in on our call. I was on speaker phone. They asked what I wanted. I told them I was calling to get some preliminary info and to get a feel for the process. Right away this helper lady of Thelma's started in on me (picture most possible sarcastic tone possible): "Well, you know that there are rules you have to follow." Me: "Yes, ma'am, that's why I'm calling. I don't know what they are. I'm trying to figure out this process."

Every single thing I said she answered with the most sarcastic tone I think she could muster. I told them I had downloaded the I-600A and was starting to look it over. In fact that isn't the form I even need. As of April 1, 2008, the USA and India and a bunch of other countries entered into this agreement at The Hague Conference and so now if Americans want to adopt from one of those countries we have to use form I-800A. The purpose of this is to stop the sale of children, I think specifically for the safety of children. So things like sex trade and using live and healthy orphans for organs (yes, this happens) isn't as easy. So I'm on board. Helpless and uncared for children should not have the potential for those things to happen to them.

Then I asked how it would work since I am a US citizen by birth, and Narasimha is not even a green card holder yet. Oh boy, did this get her going (and it showed me she doesn't know as much as she thinks she does). I told her that Narasimha is on what's called an H-1 visa. She said: "Well, if you're really married, why is he on an H-1 visa?" If she really knew her stuff, she'd have known that, but I patiently explained the whole J-1 visa waiver process that we're in. And then she said "Well, I just really don't see how this is going to work. Someone who isn't an American citizen or even a permanent resident of the US has no right to adopt a child in the US. I've never even heard of a situation like this." Yes, but I'm an American citizen, don't I still have rights? "Well, no, you're married, you have to fill out the forms together."

Somewhere in there I got frustrated. We talked about more stuff. Now I just can't remember what. So, I got back on the internet and downloaded this I-800A form. And I contemplated divorcing my husband so I could adopt a child and then we could get remarried. We could even still live together. We just can't be legally married for this paperwork thing. Just kidding, but only kinda. I can adopt just fine by myself (provided I'm over 21 years old, which I am) but being married to a (legally here) foreigner - nope, not allowed.

So ok, call me naive, but I was hoping this would be fairly easy. It will not be. I knew it wouldn't be without problem, and I knew it would take time. But at this point it's looking like it might not even work.

One thing I do know: If I ever do call Thelma's office back, when I leave a message I'm going to ask her to call me back alone. I'd rather bumble through it with someone who doesn't quite know what's going on rather than Ms. Sarcastic Attitude who made me cry and ruined my day, and still didn't know all the way what was going on.

I guess the silver lining is this: I have been praying God show me if this is what He wants for our family. This problem is not above His control. If He wanted it to work, it would. So, if it doesn't, something isn't right. I can take comfort in that. And I'm trying to, but I'm still sad and I have a headache.