Empty Me

I heard this song by Chris Sligh yesterday, and for some reason it keeps bouncing around in my head. I even woke up to it this morning. The lyrics are powerful and I wanted to share the words of the chorus:

Empty me of the selfishness inside
Every vain ambition and the poison of my pride
And any foolish thing my heart holds onto
Lord, empty me of me so I can be filled with You

I pray that this is the attitude and focus of my heart as I navigate my day.

Our First Marathon

We made it! Looking back today (we finished just a little over 24 hours ago from when I am writing this) there were many many times where I wondered if I would. It was fairly grueling. The first half was pretty comfortable for me. At about mile 13, I started to notice my legs getting tired and sore. By about mile 17 I could have stopped and been ok with it. Around mile 19 or 20 I was almost to the point of tears, but then I started almost hyperventilating, and that with running isn't a great combination (my throat got very small), so I had to chill so I could breathe. I wanted to stop so many times. Everything hurt. Probably the one thing I told myself that kept me going was: "If you stop now, it's still going to hurt, and you're going to have to walk all the way back. At least if you run, you'll get there sooner!" The last few miles felt like they were never going to end - each step seemed to hurt more and more. With about a quarter mile left Narasimha grabbed my hand and pretty much literally pulled me over the finish line. Somehow I beat him by 1 second (it was "chip" timing, so he probably technically started a little before me or something).

When we were done, all I wanted to do was sit down - after all, I had been looking forward to that for about 9 miles! But, Narasimha was pumped. Some kind of runner's high or something. He was walking around, eating everything, talking to all these people we knew and didn't. It was pretty funny. He's already talking about doing another one.

I know we could do better - we did not train as well as we could have. In the last 6 weeks of our training schedule, we missed over 100 miles of running, and that was out of only 270 miles. Which is too much to miss if you want to be consistent. So, all of that considered, I think we did pretty well. Our time was 4:02:42. That's an average of 9:16 minutes/mile. Our first 13 miles were under 9:00 pace, and then until mile 21 we were under 10:00 pace, but from mile 22 until the end our pace was over 10:00 - as you can see, we just slowly ran out of juice. But, we finished, and we never walked (we knew if we stopped to walk, even for a bit, we'd have not been able to convince our legs to run again!), and I think we did the best we could :)

Thanks to everyone who offered encouraging words during training or before the race - you are appreciated!

Just a few minutes before the start.

This was a little before the half-way mark - mile 13 was just a little after this.

Almost there - Narasimha has my hand and is determined that I will finish with just about a block or so to go!

Done - just by a few minutes, and talking to my mom and sisters.

Some of our cheering squad - my mom (middle) and sisters. Some of our friends from Narasimha's work also came to cheer for us, and then some friends from around my parent's house were there as well.

I Failed :(

Well, I did not reach my goal to get 100 posts in the 1st year of my blog :( But, happy birthday to my blog :) It's today. And I think this is something like my 94th post. So close... I'm really not that broken up about it - just kidding ;)

Hope everyone has a good weekend - I'm planning on posting about how our marathon went early next week - it's on Sunday :)

A (Long) Change

I just axed off most of my hair. I have been thinking about cutting it for a while, and did, until about an hour ago, have very long hair (when straight it went to at least my lower back). Then I thought, well, if I am going to cut more off than just a trim, I should really do something with it. So I decided to do Locks of Love.

I got to the place, and I had thought that they needed 8 inches - turns out they really need 10. But before they cut it they put it in a ponytail, and then they cut straight across from that. Then when it's off, it's all jagged, so they have to even it out (the hair around your face is an inch or 2 longer than what's in the back). So I lost 10 + 1 or 2 inches - right around a foot of hair. It was pretty long before, so I think it's still about shoulder length.

After I got it done, I went to Narasimha's office to show him (he didn't know I was going to do it). I thought it would take him a minute to get used to, and then he'd like it. Turns out, he doesn't. I knew he liked my long hair, but figured, it's just hair, right? I'm sure he'll get used to it in time.

So now I will start growing my hair out again - in a few years it will be the same length it was earlier today. Now I'm going to hit the shower before Narasimha gets home so I can try to make it look good, and maybe that'll help talk him into liking it. Although next time I do this, I think I will straighten my hair before I go - I think because my hair is wavy/curly, I probably lost at least an inch, maybe 2, more than I would have if my hair had been really straight when they cut it.

How long it was on July 4, 2008.

How long it is after my cut - although it is straight here and I really won't straighten it very often.

Update as of 8:30 PM: Narasimha has decided that it "isn't so bad" now that he has seen it done. I kinda like it, and it feels so light!!! And easy! And sometimes something a little different is just fun :)

Focus

Wow, do I ever feel "busy." Life seems to be sprinting along at a whirlwind pace, and I am somewhat bouncing along behind trying to catch my breath (picture one of those pop cans tied to the back of a wedding getaway car - that's how I feel). And I don't even have a job or kids. Here's some of what's going on/coming up in our lives:

- We're trying really hard to focus and get our adoption paperwork sent in. Ugh - we're so slow!
- I have (of course) procrastinated the homework for the class I am taking this fall. It's now due in 2.5 weeks, by mail, and I am working in overdrive.
- I was just asked to coach the volleyball team that I coached last year. This will likely start around the end of October, as it runs during what is usually the high school basketball season.
- We are still training for our marathon, which is a week and a half away. We are both battling injuries, and our training has not gone as planned, so I feel like we're actually starting to lose shape a little, and at this point I think I'll be happy if we finish. I would say we're probably in shape to run a race in the 18-20 mile range, so 26.2 will be pushing it.
- Taj's test for therapy dog is in Nov sometime. I never trained him, and I'm thinking about just winging the test. We'll see how he does. We did work with them as puppies quite a bit, but I don't know a lot about the specifics of this test.
- Narasimha and I were asked to be 2 of the 4 leads in our church's Christmas play (Joseph and Mary). Narasimha's part includes a vocal solo. He has a nice singing voice, but has never had any instruction ever at all whatsoever. Never. Not even like little kid music class in elementary school. So, I get to teach him how to sing. By December. And I'm certainly no master myself.
- We're planning a trip this fall to the east coast to visit family.
- I have been praying to be more involved in our church. It is happening, in many ways, all at once.
- And, once our adoption paperwork is sent in, we will be doing a homestudy, so trying to be more prepared for that.
- Our social engagements have been increasing in number and frequency (friends, family, church, N's work, etc.).
- Not to mention, we're still in the middle of some home improvement projects, so I am trying to keep up with the regular housework, continue to unpack, and do the things like painting and finishing things up.

As you can see, we've got a full plate (although it doesn't look as bad in list form as I feel when I run it all through my head!). And I'm so happy; I wouldn't have it any other way. I am excited for everything that's on our list. But it all adds up, and sometimes I feel overwhelmed and tired just thinking about it.

I have also been very convicted while working on the homework for my class. Especially today. My God is a jealous God, and even things that are good in and of themselves become bad when they are put in a higher position than God in my life. I have tried to meditate on this truth today: Anything and everything I do, no matter what it is, should be done with the primary purpose of pleasing God. Whether its laundry, going for a run, going over lines for a Christmas play, or spending some relaxing time with my hubby - there is a way to do all of these things, and all of the things in my list, and still be pleasing to my Savior. I find it's easy to get distracted, and to forget my goal. Easy to lose focus. So I will focus on not losing focus on what really matters in my everyday life - from the mundane to the extraordinary. If God comes first then it's still worth doing.

Running Woes

I am writing today to talk about something that has become a big part of our life in recent months. And by a big part, I mean big in the consumption of our time and energy. We have always liked to run. There have been different times in our marriage where running consistently wasn't an option, for whatever reason. But, back around the beginning of 2008 we decided that we were going to take our physical fitness more seriously. So we joined the gym, and made a work-out plan. We ran a 20K (12.4 miles) back in May, and really enjoyed it. We even walked away from it talking about how we could improve our running from that point. We were doing well, so we started a training program to run a marathon. The training was going well, so back in July, we registered to run a marathon (the earlier you decide and pay, the cheaper the race fee is). We continued to do well with our training until about a month or so ago.

At this point, we are supposed to be running almost 60 miles a week. We are not. Every week for about the last month, we have missed at least 1 run, and I can feel it taking its toll on our training. I know we're in shape - last night we ran 15 miles at a good pace, and by the end I was tired and sore, but far from dying.

I did not consider what we would have to give up to run so much. First, I didn't consider the time. If each mile on average takes 10 minutes (it doesn't - we run closer to 8:30 pace, or try to - but for the sake of the simplicity of math involved) then to run 60 miles a week would take roughly 10 hours. And, there is travel time to the place we run, and time to warm up and stretch and cool down, etc. Also, by the time you finish running 15-22 miles (our long runs) you are too tired and sore to do anything else. Not to mention, the days are getting shorter and shorter, so trying to get the run done by sunset is also a challenge (and if you are running in the dark, you get to hear the critters in the bushes beside you, and you get to step on like a million frogs on the trail - EWW!).

We are also both experiencing aches and pains that sometimes feel like more than just aches and pains. Narasimha's knee (his ilio-tibial band, or ITB, to be exact) has given him problems. I have terrible hips, and they hurt almost constantly and pop like crazy. My ankles also get very sore. I must say though - my issues seem to get better as I am running longer. Narasimha's knees are pretty ok right now, but are a little flakier than my joints. I think much of our pain could be alleviated with some good cross-training, but we don't have the time or calories at the end of the day to devote to that, at this point.

I am also disappointed with myself in the way that in the grand scheme of things, running isn't that important in my life. Yet somehow through all this training, it has taken a front row seat to almost everything that I do consider more important than running.

The positives of running: I am in good shape - my resting heart rate is probably low to mid-40's. When I get to bed, I sleep like a rock. Running is our "family time" together, and in my mind, it's better than watching TV all the time (which we no longer have time for). You can eat anything and everything you want, and you're still hungry! :) And, thinking toward the future: Even though we don't plan on running another marathon anytime soon, we do plan to keep running a not insane amount, and we feel we're getting ourselves in a good habit of exercise to be a good example to our kids when we have them.

So, there's my sob story. The marathon is 2 weeks from tomorrow (Oct 19). If I live through it, I'll post pics. If you wonder why I never post (or do anything else) anymore, here's 99% of the reason. Any words of wisdom out there?

I Timothy 4:8 For bodily exercise profits a little, but godliness is profitable for all things, having promise of the life that is now and of that which is to come. NKJV