Christmas With A Capital "C"

From Go Fish's Album Snow, with comedian Brad Stine (speaking parts - in italics).

Speaking:
I remember when people used to say things like "Merry Christmas" to each other.
Everybody said "Merry Christmas."
"Hey, Merry Christmas to you Mr. Lowenstein."
You know why? Cuz it wasn't about a religion.
It was something as a culture we thought was so valuable
that'd we'd all do it together even if I disagreed with the religion behind it because it was good for all of us instead of just me.
But what do people say now? "Happy holidays."
See I just say "Happy holidays" cuz I don't want to say Christmas cuz
you don't believe in Christmas and I don't want to offend you...

It's called Christmas

Well I went to the coffee shop to get myself a mocha
The lady at the counter said "Happy Holidays"
I said "Thanks lady, I am pretty happy
But there's only one holiday that makes me feel that way and..."

[Chorus]
It's called Christmas
What more can I say
It's about the birth of Christ
And you can't take that away
You can call it something else
But that's not what it'll be
It's called Christmas with a capital C

God's got a law and we've pretty much destroyed it
We're gonna get judged, there's no way to avoid it
But Jesus came down to take the punishment for me
He did it for you too, so now maybe you can see why

[Chorus]

It's called Christmas

Oh yes, we want to say "Happy holidays" because we don't want to leave anybody out. Really, how come there's a ton of holidays in February, and nobody ever says "Happy holidays" in February do they? They say what it is: "Happy Valentine's D..." Ooh, do you believe in love?

It's called Christmas

But nobody wants to say "Christmas" anymore more. Why? I know why - you do too. It's because it's got "Christ" in it, and after 2000 years, He's still intimidatin' people. You see, when a religious Person says "I am the Way" people don't want to hear it. They don't!

It's called Christmas

I say you've got to say "Merry Christmas" cuz it is. You don't believe in it? Fine. But I have a flash for you. Christianity happens to be the religious heritage of my country, whether you like it or not.

It's called Christmas

So if you're not a Christian, or you don't like it, and you don't want Christmas celebrated, God bless ya. But let me tell ya somethin', if you think you're gonna stop me from saying it because it offends you, hey I've got a flash for ya: Put a helmet on! It's my country too!

[Chorus x2]