The Meeting

Well this report is a little overdue and doesn't have a "happily ever after" ending but I'll share anyways for all of you who are wondering and who have said kind and encouraging words over the last week or so.

The meeting went really well. We met at a Chinese restaurant (Narasimha, me, our friends who know the birthmom, the birthmom, and her mom) and had a nice lunch. When we got there I thought "this place is so crowded how are we ever going to talk about something so serious?" but it ended up working out perfectly. I don't think anyone wanted to talk with all those people around so we just had a nice lunch and got to know each other better. By the time we were done eating the restaurant cleared out. The food was gone and the bill was paid and we were all sitting there looking at our hands - no one knew where to start. Finally I broke the silence and we had a really nice talk. We told her that we care about her - not just because she's carrying a baby we'd like to have, but because she's a person and she's in a scary place. We talked about her options (abortion, adoption, keeping the baby) and the pros and cons of each (and, if you're wondering, I pointed out how we can be tricked into thinking the cons are really pros in the case of abortion, where there really are no "pros"). We talked about what being a mother might look like in her situation - how hard it would be and how she might not be ready. We talked about adoption and how even though it's not easy, sometimes (and more often in certain situations) it really is the most loving and selfless thing an expectant mom can do for her baby and for another family. We showed her the faces of 2 people who want a baby more than we even know how to express, and how we're normal, happy people who just can't have kids. We told her that if she adopted it out, we would be honored if she would consider/choose us to raise her baby, but that there was no obligation and would be no hard feelings if she wanted to check out other families. I told her I would be there to support her every step of the way no matter what she ended up choosing to do. We gave her the number for a pregnancy counselor from Bethany Christian Services (an adoption agency that I've heard supports their birth moms very well). Upon a question she asked, we talked a little about how we thought we'd raise the baby if she did give it to us. On the way out we all hugged and she excitedly showed me an ultrasound she had just a few days earlier. The baby was just a little white peanut on the fuzzy black background.

I think she had a fair amount of pressure to abort the baby, but I never got the feeling that she had any interest in doing so. I think in her mind it was whether to keep it (which I think she really wanted to do, but knew she would have a really hard time doing) or give it to another family.

Unfortunately this story does not have a warm fuzzy ending. Last night when I was coaching at my volleyball game I got a voicemail from her. She didn't feel "right" so she was on her way to the doctor. We texted back and forth and she said she might be losing the baby but she wouldn't know until Thursday (tomorrow). I got a text about a half hour ago saying that she lost the baby.

I told her I am praying for her and that I'd like to continue to have a relationship with her - she is really a great person and honestly after the meeting I was torn about even wanting her baby because that would have probably meant less of a relationship with her, which I also want. I am going to go visit her soon. Please pray for her during this difficult time - she must be feeling a lot of different things right now. I know I am.

1 Corinthians 10:13 (my paraphrase) You do not have any trial or hardship in your life that others haven't gone through before - it may be tough but it's not unique and you're not alone. God is faithful and He'll never give you more than He'll help you to handle, and because of how much He loves you He'll give you a way not just to survive but to thrive in any situation, no matter how hard it is. The ultimate victory is in honoring Christ in the midst of any struggle.

A Meeting

We get to meet the expectant mom. TOMORROW! I still have no idea that it will work out, or even that it should, but to be an encouragement to a woman in need will be worth the time no matter what happens. Please pray for our words and our hearts - that when we meet we are most concerned with this woman and her baby and their well-being, and that our own interest in the situation is not selfish or manipulative. I talked with a friend and her words made me realize that this woman's need right now, if she doesn't personally have a relationship with Jesus (and I don't think she does), has everything to do with that lack of relationship and nothing to do with her baby. If she gives her life to Christ then everything else in her life, including this baby, will fall into place. It might not be easy, but this avenue called pregnancy could be leading her to the highway called eternal salvation. Nothing is more important.

A Baby

Well, I have something to report for those who are interested and to ask for prayer for those of you who pray.

I was approached by a friend and told of a baby that she knows of that could potentially be available for adoption. The parents of this baby are not ready to be parents and for some reason (praise God - no matter if we got the baby or not) they are not interested in abortion. So, there is a baby that will likely need a home. Apparently the mother is only a month or two along in the pregnancy, so it would give us plenty of time to work out the details.

I obviously want a baby - we've tried to get pregnant for over 4 years now, which seems at times like an eternity. But, I don't know if this baby is for us. So we'll wait and see. And pray a whole lot in the meantime. Several people in the last few years have said stuff to us like "I know a pregnant lady who might be giving her baby up..." or "I heard of a baby the other day and thought of you two..." so, I've heard this before and won't be getting my hopes too far up. I don't even know if it's possible with Narasimha's immigration status - I don't know if we can adopt an American baby. All details we'll have to check into. So, in my free time (HA! - I have none) I will see what I can find out on the internet and calling around.

But, if this little one is a baby for our family, well, I can't help but feel a little excited about that.

Pray for us as we check into this and make decisions - I am sure there will be many.