Day to Day...

In Sickness and In Health

2011-03-11T23:21:00.000-06:00

Well once again it's been quite a while. Life goes so fast sometimes and it's hard to keep up...

This week has been no different in that there's always so much to do, but a little different in that we've had an unexpected but pretty much mandatory slow-down. Our house was hit by the flu. Yup - my doctor hubby was rendered pretty much incapacitated for the better part of this week.

Monday he was tired and sneezing. Tuesday he didn't feel well but went to work anyways (it's hard for the clinic staff to reschedule a whole day's patients at the last minute, and call schedule changes, and blah blah blah...). By early Tuesday afternoon his nurse let him sleep for an hour with his head on his desk before he finished out his afternoon. Tuesday evening when he got home from work he fell asleep in the chair and I had to wake him to get ready for bed hours later. By Wed AM his temp was 104.5, and then he started regularly pumping Tylenol. That evening he started Tamiflu. He missed work Thursday and today as well, though he is now slowly on the mend.

I also have had a little of it - I have been achy and pretty tired and have had a fever on and off, but haven't needed meds and I've bounced back lots quicker. At least one of us was able to be fairly normal because Jaxx hasn't been very forgiving...

I have learned in the last week a little about our marriage which was kind of surprising to me. We normally spend almost all of our time together (when he's not at work, obviously) and with him sleeping all the time I found myself kinda lonely, and I don't generally consider myself to be a "needy" person. But I've missed him. I also found that I was less patient with him and his needs than I would have thought I would be. Don't get me wrong - I still helped him and nursed him and did everything I needed to, but it gave me a real perspective on the marriage vow "In sickness and in health."

So many people sail through so much of their marriage not having to fully grasp what the unpleasantness of that vow can mean. I dealt with it for less than a week and I'm ready for hubby to be back to self-sufficiency. I have a new respect for those who are in a marriage where the health of their spouse requires so much more than I've ever had to give for long periods of time. Now, if it were asked of me to do so, would I? Yes, I would like to think that I would. Would I like it? Maybe not, but probably for many reasons.

I'm not exactly sure what I'm getting at. It's late - it's been a long week. There are lots of spiritual applications that could be drawn from this but I don't really have the state of mind to go there. So I guess this is just a personal pondering of: selfishness, love, sacrifice, marriage, responsibility, etc. And how a week with the flu made me consider my marriage and be very thankful for the husband I have and the general health God has chosen to bless us with most of the time.

The Meeting

2010-09-08T10:05:00.005-05:00

Well this report is a little overdue and doesn't have a "happily ever after" ending but I'll share anyways for all of you who are wondering and who have said kind and encouraging words over the last week or so.

The meeting went really well. We met at a Chinese restaurant (Narasimha, me, our friends who know the birthmom, the birthmom, and her mom) and had a nice lunch. When we got there I thought "this place is so crowded how are we ever going to talk about something so serious?" but it ended up working out perfectly. I don't think anyone wanted to talk with all those people around so we just had a nice lunch and got to know each other better. By the time we were done eating the restaurant cleared out. The food was gone and the bill was paid and we were all sitting there looking at our hands - no one knew where to start. Finally I broke the silence and we had a really nice talk. We told her that we care about her - not just because she's carrying a baby we'd like to have, but because she's a person and she's in a scary place. We talked about her options (abortion, adoption, keeping the baby) and the pros and cons of each (and, if you're wondering, I pointed out how we can be tricked into thinking the cons are really pros in the case of abortion, where there really are no "pros"). We talked about what being a mother might look like in her situation - how hard it would be and how she might not be ready. We talked about adoption and how even though it's not easy, sometimes (and more often in certain situations) it really is the most loving and selfless thing an expectant mom can do for her baby and for another family. We showed her the faces of 2 people who want a baby more than we even know how to express, and how we're normal, happy people who just can't have kids. We told her that if she adopted it out, we would be honored if she would consider/choose us to raise her baby, but that there was no obligation and would be no hard feelings if she wanted to check out other families. I told her I would be there to support her every step of the way no matter what she ended up choosing to do. We gave her the number for a pregnancy counselor from Bethany Christian Services (an adoption agency that I've heard supports their birth moms very well). Upon a question she asked, we talked a little about how we thought we'd raise the baby if she did give it to us. On the way out we all hugged and she excitedly showed me an ultrasound she had just a few days earlier. The baby was just a little white peanut on the fuzzy black background.

I think she had a fair amount of pressure to abort the baby, but I never got the feeling that she had any interest in doing so. I think in her mind it was whether to keep it (which I think she really wanted to do, but knew she would have a really hard time doing) or give it to another family.

Unfortunately this story does not have a warm fuzzy ending. Last night when I was coaching at my volleyball game I got a voicemail from her. She didn't feel "right" so she was on her way to the doctor. We texted back and forth and she said she might be losing the baby but she wouldn't know until Thursday (tomorrow). I got a text about a half hour ago saying that she lost the baby.

I told her I am praying for her and that I'd like to continue to have a relationship with her - she is really a great person and honestly after the meeting I was torn about even wanting her baby because that would have probably meant less of a relationship with her, which I also want. I am going to go visit her soon. Please pray for her during this difficult time - she must be feeling a lot of different things right now. I know I am.

1 Corinthians 10:13 (my paraphrase) You do not have any trial or hardship in your life that others haven't gone through before - it may be tough but it's not unique and you're not alone. God is faithful and He'll never give you more than He'll help you to handle, and because of how much He loves you He'll give you a way not just to survive but to thrive in any situation, no matter how hard it is. The ultimate victory is in honoring Christ in the midst of any struggle.

A Meeting

2010-09-02T10:35:00.003-05:00

We get to meet the expectant mom. TOMORROW! I still have no idea that it will work out, or even that it should, but to be an encouragement to a woman in need will be worth the time no matter what happens. Please pray for our words and our hearts - that when we meet we are most concerned with this woman and her baby and their well-being, and that our own interest in the situation is not selfish or manipulative. I talked with a friend and her words made me realize that this woman's need right now, if she doesn't personally have a relationship with Jesus (and I don't think she does), has everything to do with that lack of relationship and nothing to do with her baby. If she gives her life to Christ then everything else in her life, including this baby, will fall into place. It might not be easy, but this avenue called pregnancy could be leading her to the highway called eternal salvation. Nothing is more important.

A Baby

2010-08-29T18:43:00.004-05:00

Well, I have something to report for those who are interested and to ask for prayer for those of you who pray.

I was approached by a friend and told of a baby that she knows of that could potentially be available for adoption. The parents of this baby are not ready to be parents and for some reason (praise God - no matter if we got the baby or not) they are not interested in abortion. So, there is a baby that will likely need a home. Apparently the mother is only a month or two along in the pregnancy, so it would give us plenty of time to work out the details.

I obviously want a baby - we've tried to get pregnant for over 4 years now, which seems at times like an eternity. But, I don't know if this baby is for us. So we'll wait and see. And pray a whole lot in the meantime. Several people in the last few years have said stuff to us like "I know a pregnant lady who might be giving her baby up..." or "I heard of a baby the other day and thought of you two..." so, I've heard this before and won't be getting my hopes too far up. I don't even know if it's possible with Narasimha's immigration status - I don't know if we can adopt an American baby. All details we'll have to check into. So, in my free time (HA! - I have none) I will see what I can find out on the internet and calling around.

But, if this little one is a baby for our family, well, I can't help but feel a little excited about that.

Pray for us as we check into this and make decisions - I am sure there will be many.

What's the Catch?

2010-05-28T11:06:00.005-05:00

A week ago was my last day of class (more about that in a different post) and as I was on my way out of town to come home I called my mom to see if I could stop by and visit her at work before I left. She said sure, and then asked if I'd be able to stop by at a gas station and pick her up a fountain drink. Her job is physically strenuous and she was in the middle of something, so of course I said "No problem."

I got to the gas station, and only needed to buy the soda (no gas or anything else). So I went in and did what she said - 1/3 full of ice, a "shot" of cherry flavor, and fill it up with Pepsi. As I walked up to the counter with my money in my hand the young man behind the counter looked at my cup and said "Is that all?" Yup, that was it. "Well, then it's free," he said. Huh? He explained that since it was the gas station's grand re-opening or whatever they were giving away fountain drinks of that size for free all weekend. So then me (being the quick learner I am) said, "So I don't have to give you any money?" He laughed and shook his head and said no. So I thanked him, and walked back to my car - money still in hand, and probably still a confused look on my face.

As I was driving my mom's cherry soda to her I was thinking of how often our interactions with God look all too much like my interaction with the boy behind the counter who probably was thinking "How does this woman get out of bed in the morning?" :)

How often do we hear of God's free gift to us of salvation (John 3:16), and yet we somehow can't grasp that when someone says "Free" we don't have to give payment.

What about those of us who have accepted God's free gift? We know that when we die we will be bound for an eternity in heaven with a Holy God who sent his Son to earth to take our punishment. How often do even we base our works on staying on God's "good side" or maybe earning an extra Christian gold star to put by our name? I am reminded of the prophet Isaiah's words that our good works are no better than filthy rags when illuminated by the presence of the holiness of God (Isaiah 64:6).

So where do we go from here? Does this mean that since our works are worthless we forget about it - accept our salvation and do what we want? NO! Of course not! Our works don't change our salvation - our salvation changes our works. That little difference of the order of those words actually isn't so little. We don't work FOR our salvation - we work BECAUSE OF our salvation. We do our best to show our thankfulness and love for a Savior who did so much for us! Are your works and interactions with people every minute of every day a testament of what God has done for your eternity? I know mine aren't! Thank goodness for God's loving grace - not only to save us from our sins, but also to allow us to live for Him more and more each day!

I hope this was an encouragement to you. And I hope, as you go through your "daily grind" you are able to see God in something as small as a free fountain drink :)

Ladies' Book Club

2010-03-26T09:17:00.008-05:00

I want to share something that I have started in our local church - just to share and also to ask for prayer (that rhymed ;)

I always wanted to start something like this in the church we came from, but I finally am getting around to doing it here, and I'm really excited for what God can do with it.

It's called "Ladies' Book Club" and basically it is a voluntary group for ladies of our church, and visitors or friends, to read a book and then get together informally and talk about it. I personally really love to read, and I love to read a little bit of everything - from fiction, to apologetics, to counseling, to exegetical study - a variety of really anything. I have read SO MANY great books as a returning seminary student, and just out of personal interest.

So I typed up a proposal to give to our church elders for approval - I could have done it outside the church and on my own, with friends only, but I really think that something like this has the potential to connect women from the church and create closer relationships among people who might not be obvious "friends." So the church approved it and we're on our way.

The way I plan to do it: I picked several books that I feel will promote good conversation. Not all the books are theologically "perfect" - which I think is also a good thing. I want to be able to pick a book apart and talk about what good can be gotten and what are the issues one should beware of, thus further solidifying the basis of our faith. We will do a book every 2 months. I will hand out the info for the next book at the discussion hour of the current book. I have also printed up an optional "Discussion Aid" with questions to get people thinking more in depth about the book.

Our first book is Beautiful in God's Eyes by Elizabeth George. It is a fairly quick and easy read, and I think it has content that can be applied to the life of any woman. It is basically an applicational study of Proverbs 31. We are meeting to discuss the book in mid-May.

If you remember, please pray for this ministry, and for me as I lead the discussion groups. If you are interested in joining us, contact me :) If you can't come but would like my notes on the book or the Discussion Aid for your own personal use, contact me. And, if you have any books that you think would be a beneficial addition to our line-up, let me know! I want to add books that will grow us, stretch our thinking and faith, and bring us together in Jesus' name. I would also welcome suggestions if you are a part of something like this in your own local church :)

Thanks

2009-11-29T13:25:00.003-06:00

I would like to share something I am thankful for this year. Here goes...

I am thankful for our infertility. Don't get me wrong - I am still sad, and I still want a baby as much as ever (though I am working on being ok with the very real possibility that children might not be in my future), but I am working on having a thankful heart for this and everything else I have in life, whether it feels "good" or "bad."

God loves me and promises to give me His best for me. Our infertility is a gift from God. It's tough to see it, and especially to feel it, but it is theologically true. Infertility is God's best for my life. It is a blessing. It is being used to grow me into the person God wants me to be. It enables me to serve in the areas God wants me to serve. It gives me compassion to minister to those who need compassion as only I, in my unique circumstances, can give.

It is not easy, trust me, and just this last week I have had to deal with some painful information regarding this whole infertility journey. But it's ok. And not only is it ok - it's what's best for me. And, it's hard for me to be thankful for this. But I am working on thinking this way all the time. It's a work in progress.

Thanksgiving Day was spent with my family. We were able to take one of our youth group girls with us to spend the day, and it was fun to have her around and spend time with her.

Friday we got up very early (1:30 AM) and drove to Des Moines to do Black Friday shopping. We were at the mall by 3:30, and we didn't get home until almost 6 PM. Then to dinner with friends.

It was a good weekend, fun with family and friends. Now back to the grind and getting ready for this holiday season and what's sure to be a very busy winter. Just looking at my calendar for the next few months makes my head spin.

Hope you all had a fantastic Thanksgiving with family and friends, and hope you were able to take some time to reflect on the blessings God has given you - whether obvious or "hidden."

Thank you, Jesus, for "working all things together for good." (Romans 8:28)

Life is Short

2009-11-06T08:58:00.002-06:00

My husband and I are youth group leaders at our church with another couple. Our group is fairly small and normally runs about 10 kids on a Wednesday evening.

I found out this AM that a boy who visited a few weeks ago, a senior in high school, was killed last night in a car accident. He hadn't been back again since his first visit. I am unsure if he had ever placed his trust in Christ.

I am in shock. I hardly knew this boy, though several of our girls went to his school. I keep trying to remember everything that happened the night he visited, but one question keeps coming to the forefront: Did we clearly present the salvation message the night he was there? And the answer is: I don't know.

I am pretty sure the week he visited we watched the second part of a video meant to discredit the theory of evolution from a Biblical perspective. But I just don't remember everything that was said when talking about the video before and after.

I think sometimes in my responsibility as a youth leader I get lazy - I always think "Aw, these kids are young, they'll be back - we'll deal with issue xyz next week." But they might not be back. They might not even make it home that night.

I have heard of a lot of deaths of young people lately - maybe no more of them are dying - maybe word just travels faster on the internet so you hear of it more...

One thing is certain: my eyes have been opened to the fact that life is short, and there are no sure things. My salvation has been sealed and I am ready to meet Jesus. But am I sure that everyone I talk to can say that same thing? Of course not. Do I need to do a better job of witnessing? Yes of course. Am I going to? I better.

This has been a wake up call for me: Wake up and love people enough to make sure they know Jesus the FIRST time, because it might be your last time talking to them.

Please pray for Leo's family and for the 2 survivors of the accident, who are also HS boys.

And if you've happened upon this blog and don't know me or what I'm talking about, don't wait to find out. This isn't a doomsday commercial, but anything could happen at any time. Email me at nkiowa@hotmail.com or find a Holy Bible and read the book of Romans.

Last Game

2009-10-20T09:30:00.004-05:00

This evening is the last volleyball game I get to coach with my first group of freshman girls. I have coached 2 seasons before this at a Christian school here in town - so it's not the end of my first season. It's also not our last game - my primary responsibility is freshman but I also help with varsity, and their post-season play begins next week. So the season isn't over quite yet, but today is my last group with MY group of girls.

They've learned a lot (not nearly all from me) and they've really improved and I'm proud of them. We had a good time and it'll be fun to watch them travel through the ranks.

And as my first season in the public schools with a fairly competitive and talented team I have also learned a lot. The level at which these girls play is different than what I've coached before at the Christian school and even than what I used to play as a high school player. Volleyball has really "evolved" in the last few decades and it's very cool to get my head back in the game at this level of competition. There's really nothing like watching a good volleyball match. And I get a front-row seat :)

And, now that I will have a little more free time I am going to be hitting my homework hard for the second class I am taking in Nouthetic Counseling. The assignment is a lot of reading (which I also did last year). I'd like to get a book review up on here but I had always intended to do that last year as well and it never happened, so we'll see... I also have to write a 17-20 page paper on exegesis and (counseling) application of a passage of Scripture. I was given I think 7 passages to choose from and I picked Ephesians 4:1-16. Many people in my class are Pastors or at least Bible school grads, so this could stretch me at least a little. Which is a good thing, right? :)

It's Been a While

2009-10-05T09:10:00.005-05:00

Wow - well, it's been a while... No, we didn't drop off the face of the earth. It's been more like running around crazy all the time I feel like. Let's see if I can fill in some of what's happened since my last post. There are many posts that I started and just never got finished, and in 6+ months they can really pile up. So, maybe someday I'll get some of that stuff posted but for now I'll do what I can.

The Adoption: Still a no go. And we're at peace with that - the issue of starting again hasn't really come up. It is certainly not that we don't want a child - we still do very much. Just with everything that happened when it finally became clear that it wasn't going to work - last time we talked about it we wanted to let it go for now, and maybe forever. Someday maybe I'll post what I started writing back in Feb to post on here as to why it didn't work. But maybe not - I'm not sure that it matters. One thing is certain: following our experiences I have strongly considered becoming an adoption activist on some sort of political level. Don't know where that's going either for right now...

At the end of February we celebrated our 5th wedding anniversary.

In March we went to Florida with my family, which was fun. While there we rented a Harley for a day and drove a couple hundred miles on the open road.

April was quiet - a sort of calm before the storm that has described our summer...

In May we went to Fiji for a week. We had a blast - it is beautiful there! We did it sort-of as a celebration of our 5th anniversary, and sort-of as something to take our mind off the failed adoption. Narasimha had saved up most of his vacation in the case we could go to India to pick up our child early in the summer, and when that fell through we decided to use it to kick up our heels. It was fantastic to get away and reconnect. I couldn't have asked for a better relaxing vacation. I really would like to post something about the trip sometime - timeline and pics and stuff. We'll have to see. But I can say now that it's been like 5 months since we've been there I can still remember like every small detail - it truly was the trip of a lifetime.

In June we took a trip to the Creation Museum and to Mammoth Caves in Kentucky with our Youth Group (which we co-lead with another couple from our church). We were gone for 4 days and had a really good (but exhausting) time. I would like to also have a post dedicated to that trip at some point. That trip used up the rest of Narasimha's saved adoption vacation days.

In June and July we got new appliances for our kitchen, which we have loved, but took up a lot of my time since the fridge didn't fit exactly in the space for it, so we had to do some modifications to our cabinets. Dust got EVERYWHERE and I am still (literally) cleaning up from that.

In July I spent 1 week as a junior high camp counselor at our Regular Baptist Camp here in Iowa, with my friend Kris as a co-counselor and 4 girls from our youth group. We also had 4 girls from other churches. That is the same camp I went to several times as a kid. It was an experience. I came home exhausted but changed and more aware of my responsibility to the kids I interact with in my position as a youth leader.

I also got a random call for a volleyball coaching job I had applied for months before and never heard anything about. In the course of just a few days I had landed myself a freshman volleyball coaching job at the public school here in town. I then had to rush through getting certified by the state and through all the other little requirements.

We also went with my family to Colorado for a few days for the wedding of a family friend. We got to do some hiking in the Rockies while there which was a blast.

In August I started my coaching job. Starting the season is a pretty intense time commitment. The first week is camp - so 10 or so hours a day for a week. Then for the next week and a half there are 2-a-day practices until school starts. Since the first day of school in August we have either had practice after school or a game all but maybe 2 days. And a few all-day Saturday tournaments.

I also started the second class working toward my Masters' in Nouthetic (Christian) Counseling, and now I am trying to get the homework for that class done. Homework and all the reading is due in just a few weeks. (YIKES!)

Also in August Narasimha acted on a dream he's had for a while now and became the proud owner of a brand new Harley Davidson. Someday maybe I'll post pics - it's a nice bike and we've had some fun riding around. We haven't gone on any super long trips yet because we haven't had the time, but we're looking forward to logging some miles in the warm weather months of years to come.

At the beginning of the month we also went on a family camping trip to Lanesboro, MN, and floated down the river on intertubes for several hours. The whole family went, including both Kyndra and Kyra's boyfriends. It was fun and relaxing, and something we're considering making into some sort of annual thing.

We also started taking apart our deck so we can build a new one. We want a new one partially to upgrade and make it a little nicer than the one that was there. But the real reason for doing the remake is because the deck we had wasn't built correctly and it would constantly cause our breezeway to flood anytime it rained hard - which is just getting old. The deck is now totally down and we have plans for the new deck - now we just have to build it.

September came and went and I don't know how it all happened so fast. I of course kept coaching. Narasimha took Step II of his Psychiatry boards. Nothing too special happened but time flew by.

Now we're into October: looking forward to a busy month ahead. Narasimha's brother and sis-in-law will be visiting for a long weekend from the East Coast. The regular season of volleyball will end close to the end of the month. We have a few youth group activities planned at church. There are a few other obligations we have at church and with family.

Time flies - I don't think it matters if you're having fun or not (which we are - I'm just sayin'...). Busy 3 months left of 2009 and already have quite a bit on the calendar for the 1st half of 2010. Hope this finds all of you well - somehow even after not posting forever my traffic counter down in the corner says I have the occasional visitor. So thanks for stopping by! Leave a note, and I'll try to be a little more regular with my posts. Happy Monday :)

Pause

2009-02-06T10:19:00.004-06:00

Well, I finally have somewhat of an update to report - though it's not quite the update I'd been hoping to pass along. It's not yet final, but it's close. Narasimha and I have decided not to pursue adoption at this time. It has been about a month of pushing pretty hard, and getting educated, and we just aren't at peace with what we're finding out. As I'm sure you can imagine, this decision was not come on easily, nor is it easy to say (and do). We're pretty bummed - but it's ok. I will try to post an update in the next week or so as to how we got here. We are fairly discouraged about the whole not being parents thing, but I am actually more at peace now and with this decision than I have been since we started. And, thankfully, Narasimha and I seem to be on the same page with that. Sorry for the lack of detail - it'll come. I just have to sort this all out and mourn a little. Thanks to all of you who have offered encouraging words and prayed for us thus far - you are appreciated!

Decisions

2009-01-17T10:13:00.003-06:00

This is a prayer request. If you pray, and if you remember, please pray for us:

We are at a crossroad in this adoption. There are decisions to be made regarding how we proceed from here. I am not going to give many details but these decisions overlap all of the following at least a little bit: our testimony, our conscience, right and wrong (maybe), relative ease vs. frustration and annoyance, trusting God, our child, health and illness, legal procedures, timelines, our desire (for a family), finances and stewardship, cultural differences, and a lot of the unknown.

We still need to talk to our Indian lawyer, but over the last few days we have come up with some very clear paths that we could follow with our adoption from this point forward. As you can likely see by the list above, we have some decisions to make. And truly, we're having a hard time deciding which path we should pursue. There are no black and white, right and wrong answers here. The only way I can even figure to pray at this point is for a clear path to follow and discernment. And, we're at the point where we need to be making decisions to even go any farther with the process.

Please pray that we would make the "right" decision and then that we will have peace with whatever comes from it. Not the decision that would make us happy or give us what we think we want, but that we would be able to make decisions knowing that we are first and foremost interested in honoring our God in all we do. And if we can acquire a child while honoring God in these decisions, that a child would come to our family in His way and His time.

If you have any words of advice, PLEASE feel free to share (seriously).

Moving Forward

2009-01-15T11:28:00.003-06:00

Yesterday's meetings went very well. We got some questions answered and we feel satisfied with the services to be offered by both of the people we met. The lawyer actually told us that his input will be minimal and we probably really don't need him as much as we think we do.

The issue mentioned in yesterday's post regarding the health of the future child is not resolved. We have thrown around some ideas as to how we should proceed from here - some more valuable than others. It seems like it could work, but we still don't know. We will likely know more when our Indian lawyer gets off vacation and we can chat with him. I am convinced that THE ONLY way this is going to work without an agency is that we have family in India - without contacts in the country we would not be able to do this. My family on both sides of the ocean is excited about this adoption which makes me so happy! I don't know that there's anything more important in a situation like this than the support of family and friends who care about you. And, as a side note - thanks so much to those of you who comment and send notes our way - notes of encouragement and that you're praying for us in this. It absolutely does make the process and frustrations more manageable! Please know your efforts are appreciated.

And, we've decided, after advice from others and talking to each other, that a home study is necessary no matter what. So, our home study is underway. We got the fingerprint cards and the background checks will likely be started by the end of this week. Meetings soon to follow. We're moving forward. I gotta get this house cleaned up! Those smoke detectors need to make their way to the ceiling... :) Any advice from any of you who may have been here?

One Step Forward...

2009-01-14T08:23:00.004-06:00

And about six steps back. That is how the last week has felt. Not to be negative, but it truly seems like every time we get a small piece of good news, it's followed by several "pieces" of not-so-good news. And sorry for not updating sooner. I've kinda been on system overload and haven't really known what to say. And, I've been on the phone for about forever this last week. Again, getting alternating good and bad news. Here's some of what's been going on since my last post:

- I filled out most of the I-800A by myself. After getting most of it filled out, there are 3 lingering questions. One is regarding Narasimha's citizenship, and if America will allow a child to be placed in our care with the potential instability of our home in that regard. I am fairly certain that we can at least make a case for having a stable enough environment in which to raise a child. The second is if the person I found for our home study is good enough for USCIS. The third is whether or not we are required to go through an agency to complete the adoption. More on the second 2 to come below.

- We need to do a home study. That is the next part of our process. The Indian Government needs it to process the paperwork that they already have in their hands. That rule has changed recently on their part. We also need a completed home study to turn in our "Application for eligibility of potential adoptive parents" or I-800A to the US Govt. So we need that next - if we decide to proceed - independent of everything else. And last week I called around and searched on websites for someone to do a home study. There is a State of Iowa website, and I looked through the providers on the list of "Adoption Service Providers" and found the name of a person who lives pretty close to us. I called him, and he is an extraordinarily nice and helpful man. More about him and his helpfulness later. He is very relaxed and seems to know his stuff, and was on the phone very supportive of our situation. I was thanking God to have found such a great guy to have on our side. However, now it looks like the US Govt won't recognize a home study done by him. After I found that out I called the State of Iowa, and the lady I talked to knew him by name and said he's one of the best and he's been doing this for years and years and years. He's told me a few times that he's 68, and he implies he's been doing this his whole life. So if we can proceed with him there will be formalities to get around, but there's still hope (in this regard)...

- We would like to do this adoption as "independents," or, without the help of an adoption agency. And the person I found for the home study (above) says he doesn't see any reason we need an agency's help. We have contacts both in America and India, and it's time-consuming to do all this yourself, but we were going to give it a shot. Not to mention, I've heard and researched a little, the average cost of an adoption from India to go through an American agency is upwards of $20,000 (sometimes up to $45,000!). If we managed to do it ourselves, I am starting to think we could get by with spending half, or less, than that. Granted, the headaches and frustrations will likely be intense. I can now see, after my week on the phone, why people do choose to go with an agency. These agencies know what they're doing and have the process streamlined. But when dealing with India, after some information I've found out very recently, I think we with our contacts in India might have in some ways better info than the agencies do. Not to mention, and this is not at all intended to be an insult to India, but rather just the way it is, I think dealing with a country where knowing people and bribery rule the land, an agency might actually slow us down. Anyways, the I-800A is written such that it seems mandatory to have an agency represent you. I have found some information on a Federal website that says it's just "strongly recommended." Still no definitive answer there.

- We are going to need, especially if we proceed without the help of an agency, a few good lawyers to help us through. One in each country. The home study man recommended the name of a good lawyer in the area. I called him, and he was not interested in helping us, but gave us the name of a person nearby who we're meeting this afternoon for an initial consultation. My family in India has a lawyer who is currently representing them with an unrelated issue to our adoption (actually the prayer request has been listed in the side bar for several months now) but they all seem to think this lawyer is the guy for us. Apparently he's one of the best lawyers for family-related issues in all of Hyderabad. Unfortunately he's on vacation right now. So my brother-in-law (who is also an Indian- and American- trained lawyer) is going to try to contact him as soon as he returns. We need to talk to him asap because one of the most pressing issues at this point (besides the home study) is whether or not the Indian Government will allow us to finalize the adoption in India, or whether they will grant us guardianship of a child and we will have to finalize in the States. The answer to this question will affect much of how we proceed from this point. It would be monumentally easier on the American side if we could finalize over there, but our demographics (3 in particular: age, citizenship and religion) may prevent that. Thus the need for the lawyer.

- My brother-in-law's (the lawyer) wife's aunt is very close friends with the director of the orphanage where we submitted our papers. I didn't actually find that out until last night. This in and of itself is very good news. When I said above that much of getting things done in India rests with who you know, I wasn't kidding. We also found out that if you do things "right" and if you know the "right" people it is easy to get a child of any age, even without medical needs, fairly quickly. When my inlaws left the Government office last week after submitting our paperwork they were happy - they were led to believe this would be a quick process. We could have a child by summer, and even a younger child than we thought. All good news. And I know that kinda sounds shady, but it isn't. It's all still legal - we don't want to do anything any other way. And, it's very much the way the country operates. It is what it is. Anyways, so we were feeling pretty good. However (and this is also a blessing, even if it takes longer to see it), the same brother-in-law's wife's aunt that was listed above also has some insider information that we are now thankful we know. She is a child specialist in Hyderabad, working with special needs kids. And this is the info that could be the deal breaker with proceeding with this (and possibly any) adoption at this time: She told us that the kids in this orphanage are not sometimes as healthy as adoptive families are led to believe. Now, there are certain medical conditions that Narasimha and I have talked about, and are willing to accept. And certain things we're not. I am thankful to be married to a physician who can weigh potential risks. And the medical issues that she detailed are things we are not willing to knowingly accept. And more than that, it looks like the Indian government has made it illegal and impossible to test for these issues before an adoption is finalized. It's a don't ask, don't tell, don't actually know sort of situation. And it isn't a small thing. That's all I'm going to say about that. So, my brother-in-law is going to do some more digging and see what he can come up with. I am, however, so thankful God has protected our family and us from proceeding with this adoption without knowing this information until who knows when.

So, where we are now. Well, we have 2 meetings this afternoon. One with the lawyer (mentioned above) and one with the home study guy. However, after finding out this most recent information regarding the health of the children I am not sure where that leaves us. It does seem like if this were really God's plan the path wouldn't be so convoluted and hidden. I don't expect straight and easy, but at least a little light at the end with some things seeming to work together every once in a while would be encouraging. I have about a million questions, and each time I try to answer one thing about 10 more things pop up. Maybe you can see why I feel like I'm "chasing my tail" with this. But, progress is being made, even if not as quickly and efficiently as I'd like. We do not want to schedule our home study without some of these questions answered. A home study is fairly costly and if it's not going to work out in the end, no need to spend that money.

And I would say we've about reached the end of our rope. I don't want to give up early, and trust me, it breaks my heart to say that this might not work. This is no small matter in our lives. However, we can push and push and push, and if the outcome doesn't change then I don't see a reason to do that. I believe that God will show us somehow, clearly, that He has a plan for us and for the growth of our family. I guess there really isn't ever any "bad news" if you can trust God's plan in your life, and I can. And if, after a few meetings today and in the next few weeks, and getting a little more information, it still seems that we can continue, then we will try. Narasimha said last night that we will try to proceed until we find out that it appears that it will absolutely not work. Which, we're almost there, but not quite.

And, if this ends up not working out, I don't by any means think it's the absolute end of our adoption journey. We will, however, likely take time to regroup, pray more, and devise a new plan.

The timeline if this somehow ends up working: Looks like a home study and background checks could be done within a month or month and a half. The processing time on the I-800A form is 90 days, if everything is filled out correctly, which the lady on the USCIS "helpline" said almost never happens. If something is not right then you get to try again. After our I-800A form is approved we can accept the referral of a child. If we can get the Indian Govt to cooperate, it looks like that could happen within a few weeks. Then a few weeks more (and this is the part of the process I'm a little sketchy on) of paperwork and medical tests, etc. Then we can go and take custody and either adopt there or receive guardianship and come home and adopt here. As far as I understand, if this were to work (fairly smoothly), it is not unrealistic to think we could have our child in our arms by summer.

Please pray for us if you think of it today and in the coming weeks.

The Holiday Season

2009-01-07T10:35:00.001-06:00

I love celebrating Jesus' birth, but hate how the whole season turns into a mad dash.

I love meditating on Jesus, and reading prophesies and Scriptural accounts of His birth, but detest how I get so swept up in the season as our culture defines it that I hardly make time to open my Bible, let alone meditating on anything.

I love shopping for gifts for people, but hate standing in mile-long lines, often with other worn-out and grumpy shoppers.

I love a season that promotes peace and love, but hate how the very business of the season gives me a headache and turns me into a grump.

I love sending Christmas cards and letters to keep in touch with family and friends, but find searching for addresses annoying.

I love Christmas music, even some of the secular stuff, but find by the end of the season I'm not sad to see it go (especially since some radio starts playing it after Halloween!).

I love decorating for Christmas, but hate that I'm so disorganized and can't find my stuff.

I love receiving Christmas cards and letters. I can't find anything I dislike about that.

I like receiving gifts, but hate hate hate how the celebration of Jesus' birth turns into this materialistic greedy and selfish acquisition of worthless stuff.

I like getting together with family and friends, but hate how I can't stop eating at the get-togethers. :)

I appreciate how every year I seem to get through the season with fond memories and happy pictures and good times, but get disgusted with myself when I vow that the next year will be more organized, more peaceful, and better, and I never follow through.

I don't mind Santa, but detest a culture that chooses Santa over Jesus, and kicks Jesus out of His own birthday party any way they can, and increasingly every single year.

I love Christmas, religiously and culturally, and I always hate to see the season end.

But, right now, I'm loving boring January :)

Submitted!!!

2009-01-06T10:42:00.003-06:00

Well, after yesterday's update, I'm not sure if this is even worth mentioning. But I will, because it's been a long time in the making, and if this whole adoption ends up working out then this is monumental!

We sent our paperwork that we prepared for the Indian Government to New Jersey last week so it could go with my brother-in-law on the plane to India. The plan is that then we could have someone hand deliver it to the orphanage. Well, Kris and Keerthi (my bro- and sis-in-law) got to India late last week, so didn't have a chance to take it yet. So last night overnight (day for India) my attayyagaaru (Telugu word for mother-in-law) and Kris took the paperwork and dropped it off. So our paperwork is now in the hands of the Indian Govt. officials. Now we wait. And today I will do more calling to follow up with what was started yesterday.

Speed Bump

2009-01-05T21:01:00.005-06:00

We have hit a speed bump, of sorts, in our adoption process. I'll detail what I can.

This morning I got on the US Govt's website to find information to start working through this adoption on an immigration level. I downloaded a form called an I-600A, which is the form I thought I needed. Then I got a number of someone in the State Dept (I think anyways) and called her and left a message. Her name is Thelma and she is in the "Adoption Office." Then I called and found out the location of our local USCIS Field Office, which is in Des Moines. I thought that's where we had to drop off our paperwork once finished. I called a few more people and got a few more numbers, etc. This took up a fair amount of my morning.

In the early afternoon Thelma called back. She informed me that she was new to India (working on Indian adoptions) so she had asked the lady who was previously responsible for India to sit in on our call. I was on speaker phone. They asked what I wanted. I told them I was calling to get some preliminary info and to get a feel for the process. Right away this helper lady of Thelma's started in on me (picture most possible sarcastic tone possible): "Well, you know that there are rules you have to follow." Me: "Yes, ma'am, that's why I'm calling. I don't know what they are. I'm trying to figure out this process."

Every single thing I said she answered with the most sarcastic tone I think she could muster. I told them I had downloaded the I-600A and was starting to look it over. In fact that isn't the form I even need. As of April 1, 2008, the USA and India and a bunch of other countries entered into this agreement at The Hague Conference and so now if Americans want to adopt from one of those countries we have to use form I-800A. The purpose of this is to stop the sale of children, I think specifically for the safety of children. So things like sex trade and using live and healthy orphans for organs (yes, this happens) isn't as easy. So I'm on board. Helpless and uncared for children should not have the potential for those things to happen to them.

Then I asked how it would work since I am a US citizen by birth, and Narasimha is not even a green card holder yet. Oh boy, did this get her going (and it showed me she doesn't know as much as she thinks she does). I told her that Narasimha is on what's called an H-1 visa. She said: "Well, if you're really married, why is he on an H-1 visa?" If she really knew her stuff, she'd have known that, but I patiently explained the whole J-1 visa waiver process that we're in. And then she said "Well, I just really don't see how this is going to work. Someone who isn't an American citizen or even a permanent resident of the US has no right to adopt a child in the US. I've never even heard of a situation like this." Yes, but I'm an American citizen, don't I still have rights? "Well, no, you're married, you have to fill out the forms together."

Somewhere in there I got frustrated. We talked about more stuff. Now I just can't remember what. So, I got back on the internet and downloaded this I-800A form. And I contemplated divorcing my husband so I could adopt a child and then we could get remarried. We could even still live together. We just can't be legally married for this paperwork thing. Just kidding, but only kinda. I can adopt just fine by myself (provided I'm over 21 years old, which I am) but being married to a (legally here) foreigner - nope, not allowed.

So ok, call me naive, but I was hoping this would be fairly easy. It will not be. I knew it wouldn't be without problem, and I knew it would take time. But at this point it's looking like it might not even work.

One thing I do know: If I ever do call Thelma's office back, when I leave a message I'm going to ask her to call me back alone. I'd rather bumble through it with someone who doesn't quite know what's going on rather than Ms. Sarcastic Attitude who made me cry and ruined my day, and still didn't know all the way what was going on.

I guess the silver lining is this: I have been praying God show me if this is what He wants for our family. This problem is not above His control. If He wanted it to work, it would. So, if it doesn't, something isn't right. I can take comfort in that. And I'm trying to, but I'm still sad and I have a headache.

A New Year

2009-01-02T22:39:00.001-06:00

It's a New Year, and no better time than that to make some changes in life, right? Well, I am big on lists (part of my slightly obsessive personality) and have always been big on "New Year's Resolutions." However, sometimes when you call them that it seems daunting and cliché. So, this year I am changing my terminology. This year they're just going to be "Goals for '09." We'll see if the lexical swap does anything for my ability to keep up with them ;) Here are a few that I will share:

- Spend time in God's Written Word and prayer every day.
- Run at least 1000 miles this year (and possibly marathon #2).
- Be more organized on all fronts. Get my house clean and then keep it that way most of the time. Be ready for company at the drop of a hat. Get in a daily routine and stay in it. Make meal plans and stick with them. Sort through every single piece of paper in my house and either put it in it's place, or pitch it (which means I have to establish a lot of "places.") Clean out all the closets - and get rid of the junk! You get the idea. This will be a lot of work, but SOOOOO worth it!
- I don't have a pound goal. I never do. However, I would like to work out more consistently and eat a much healthier diet than we do. I figure if I do those 2 things, the pounds take care of themselves.
- Read more - "business" and pleasure ;)
- Possibly pursue more schooling - that'll be something to think about.
- Work on amending my lingering personality flaws. There are many. They are annoying and unacceptable, though I seem to accept them and they persist through thick and thin. If you know of something I should be working on, you should tell me so I can :)
- Either pick up a new and exciting pastime, or spend more time doing things that I call hobbies - like playing trumpet, scrapbooking, learning a few languages, training my dogs, etc.

I'm sure there are more, but I'm tired. And that's a decent start. Does anyone have any they care to share?

Let's see, just for fun, how I did with the resolutions I posted at the beginning of '08.

#1: "Taking better advantage..." - I didn't do as well as I had hoped, though it wasn't a total failure. Certainly nothing to be proud of.

#2: "Manifesting more attributes..." - Again, I feel like progress was made. However, not as much as I would have liked. I'll have to keep working on both of these in 2009.

#3: "Giving of myself..." - I tried. I can think of things I did which were a step in the right direction, though I don't know if I can always claim pure motives and thoughts. Another work in progress...

#4: "Being 'better'..." - Progress was made. I'm certainly not perfect.

#5: "Getting more prepared..." - I hope so. I have no way to measure this. So we'll have to say maybe and leave it at that.

#6: "Getting organized..." - Well, judging by what I said my goal was for '09 I'm going to have to say I didn't do all that well with it in '08. Not a great track record. I made a little progress, but not nearly enough. Try again.

#7: "Learning..." - Nope. I didn't. Not any of them. Hardly worked on them. Another to try again.

#8: "Reprioritizing..." - Well, I suppose I did to a certain extent. I'll have to keep working here too.

#9: "Keeping in touch better..." - Actually, I did do a little better at this one in '08. I'm happy - I love my family and friends.

#10: "Getting in shape..." - Well, I did, and then I got back out. So I get to start over. But I did get that first marathon done.

#11: "Training my dogs..." - Unfortunately not as much as I'd have liked. They're all fairly well behaved, but there could be work to do if I made myself do it. Just another thing to keep plugging away at...

Well, that was a humbling little exercise. Do you do any sort of annual personal inventory? It's humbling, and a little encouraging. I have a lot of work to do!

Progress (FINALLY!)

2008-12-29T22:30:00.001-06:00

I have some exciting news: we have our first "progress" with our adoption to announce in a long time. Last night we finished the paperwork to submit to the Indian Government, and today I put it in the mail. Narasimha's brother and his wife leave for India from the East Coast in a few days, and we thought it would be better to send it with people versus in the mail if possible. So we buckled down and finished the packet, and right now it's on the way to New Jersey. In a few days it will be on the flight to India as part of carry-on luggage. Then my brother-in-law will hand deliver it to the orphanage for us. It's not a huge start, but with our snail pace I'll be happy with anything!

Please be in prayer: the situation in India that I've had in my prayer request list in the sidebar for several months now is not completely resolved. And, it could still very much affect our progress. Please pray for those whose lives are affected there (my in-laws) and that God would allow further adoption progress for our family as He sees fit. Of course we want a child now, but if God makes it clear that His plan is for us to wait even longer, then that is what we will do with peaceful and thankful hearts with grace God alone can give.

From here: We need to be preparing for our homestudy. We have no timeline for this as of now. I also need to be researching the immigration issue from an American standpoint. My initial thought is that it will be harder to get our child into our country (and home) than it will be to have one placed in our care.

Digital Camera Flub Update

2008-12-29T21:13:00.004-06:00

This post is to follow the blurb I had at the bottom of my post from Christmas Day. If you don't have a digital camera, or if you have a digital camera and know your stuff, or if you're already bored reading this, this post isn't for you ;)

So...here's what happened on Christmas. Our camera is a few years old, and we have always liked its performance (it's a Canon SD800 IS, if you're interested). However, recently, some of the shots have been a little blurry, or the lighting is a little weird, or whatever. So after the Christmas Day festivities Narasimha was absent-mindedly messing with the settings to see if he could figure out why these annoying things were going on. I think he was tired after the long day, and he happened upon the option to "format card." To say the least, the meaning of this action is lost on me. However, Narasimha says even now that he knew this was bad. He scrolled from the preset function of "no" to "yes" and pushed enter. Immediately the camera screen said "no files found." Which is bad. 2 seconds earlier we had several hundred pics saved on our disk. And they were all gone in an instant. He tried to retrieve the pics, and even downloaded some free retrieval software from the internet. Nothing worked. He found the number of a company who specializes in retrieving lost stuff, but when he called first thing Friday morning found out they were closed for the holiday until Monday. However, what he found out on the website was that there was some special reading software you could buy for $75, and if that didn't work, you could send your card to them and they would try to get it off for between $75-200-ish. Ouch. And, we weren't sure we'd get our disk back if we had to send it to them, and those are pretty spendy as well. Not to mention, no guarantees of success.

So we waited over the weekend, and Narasimha called first thing this morning. He talked to a guy who said it sounded like if anything would work, this thing called a "reader" (or something like that) would do it. No use sending it in. It looked for some reason like the computer wasn't reading our files (are you lost yet, because I was a while ago...). So we went to Staples this afternoon, and bought this like $15 thing. And it worked for the most part - Yay!!! Some of the pics have like inverted colors, and we're missing some we think, and some of them only load like half way for whatever reason. But I think we have about 90-ish% of our pics in tact. We're very thankful!

A few things we walked away from this now knowing: First, memory cards have a "lock" function. I knew that, but never used it before. This is good because you have to "unlock" (with the push of a little lever thing) to be able to do anything to your card besides add to it (so take pics, etc.). It's probably a little annoying and cumbersome at times, but it safeguards against accidental slips. Also, if anything (camera, computer, etc.) has technical functions with preset answers - you tell it to do something and it brings up 2 answers, no and yes for example, and one of them is highlighted - the one that is highlighted is generally the "right" answer unless you know what you're doing, or you're actually trying to do something specific. Our whole problem would have never happened had Narasimha went with the preset answer "no" for his little disk formatting escapade. This may seem obvious to some or all of you, but I am what you would call technologically challenged, and these little reminders will likely be helpful to me in the future.

Any suggestions or things to add? I hope this never happens to any of you.

*Note (as of 12/30): Locking the card doesn't actually work. When the card is locked (at least the one we have) it won't take or delete pics or make formatting changes. So nevermind that "advice" from above.

Merry Christmas!

2008-12-25T22:01:00.002-06:00

My family, friends and I had a wonderful and blessed Christmas - I hope the same is true for you and yours.

Christmas Eve Narasimha and I celebrated at home with gifts and special time together. Our exciting joint gift this year was an espresso machine. I'm finding out that making espresso drinks is more of an art than I remembered from my days as a barista in the coffee shop of my dorm freshman year of college. We'll have to see how this goes...

Christmas Eve we drove to Dad and Mom's so we could wake up there after sleeping in a bit longer than if we came in the morning. We opened gifts as a family, and then off to the neighbors (no blood relation, but still family) for Christmas dinner - an annual tradition. Then the Christmas Day nap, and back over to the neighbors for leftovers and more time with family and friends.

I am also fortunate enough to get together with both Mom and Dad's sides for weekends around Christmas time - one down, one to go later into the New Year.

The bummer of the day: Narasimha had a slip on our digital camera and we lost all of our pics. Actually, I haven't transferred pictures to our computer from the camera since right after our marathon in October, so we lost several hundred pictures of some special times, including all of today's. I'm pretty bummed, and Narasimha is really kicking himself. So, I'd post a few pics of us and my family, but I can't... He has been frantically searching the internet since his flub a bit ago, and there is a chance we can hire someone to "retrieve" them. The free software he found on the internet isn't working... We'll have to see when everything opens back up early next week. I guess technology works best when it's on your side... :(

Snow

2008-12-24T23:50:00.008-06:00

I wanted to give a review of this album on my blog - I think this is possibly my favorite Christmas CD. One I can listen to over and over and over again. I recommend it - it's lots of fun. And, technically, Go Fish is a kids' group. However, their slogan is something to the effect of "Music that kids love that won't drive their parents bonkers." And I agree - I don't even have kids and I listen to it voluntarily :) I have also put the lyrics of two of the songs on the blog just a bit ago - the words to these songs (Go Fish originals, I believe) are powerful and important. Hope you enjoy my "review." :) **Note: I am no music expert. That will likely be obvious to those of you who may be. These are just my thoughts with a little music terminology that I hope I used correctly... If you're an expert, read on at your own risk ;)

1. Joy To The World - This Christmas classic is tweaked Go Fish style. It's great to sing along with - upbeat and fun, and as far as I can tell the voices are accompanied by drums only, and only a little. 3 of the 4 verses are recorded, along with a small interlude of Go Fish original material. The unison voices in this piece I think show the musicianship of the group.

2. We Three Kings - A little slower than the first, and a few more percussion instruments than drums for accompaniment. Still lots of fun. Another small Go Fish interlude. Lots of emphasis on Jesus being Christmas' "star." 2 of 5 verses, but the first verse is sung twice (before and after second verse).

3. Away In A Manger/Beautiful Savior - A capella. Beautiful. Slow and "quiet." The group's bass singer is great I think - and the whole song has real depth. 2 verses of Away In A Manger, though the second verse has slightly different words than I'm used to. Transition into Beautiful Savior, which I think is a great combo focusing on who the Baby in the manger was. 1 verse of Beautiful Savior.

4. Christmas Time - Fun with a good beat. A Go Fish original, I think. Drum accompaniment. A jab at Santa that I can appreciate ;) Focus on cultural Christmas "atmosphere" with very clear and well-done Jesus focus in the middle. For some reason I feel like it's a mix (or somewhat of a remix) of one or a few popular secular Christmas songs, but I can't place which ones for sure. I don't know...

5. Christmas With A Capital "C" - Lyrics below. A Go Fish original, and I believe it's the name of their Christmas tour. An important song for Christians in an increasingly secular world who'd like to take Jesus right out of Christmas. Fun and funny with a message. Speaking parts by comedian Brad Stine who does a good job. Encouragement for us as Christians to stand up for ourselves against Santa and a culture who embraces him (only). I don't know that I go along with all the points made - however, I appreciate the stand being made. And, overall, their point is appropriate and well-said. And, since the target audience is children, I think the message does a good job of helping to give (our) kids the courage and attitude to stand up for Jesus. These songs are the things that stick with kids as they grow and face life.

6. White Christmas - A sort-of barber shop sound, voices and light drums, complete with snapping of fingers. The bass sings the melody on this one, and he's great. Fun and easy-going. The only song on the CD that never mentions Jesus, which is fine with me due to the heavy focus on the whole rest of the CD. A well-done Christmas classic.

7. Christmas And You - Somewhat of a "love song." Go Fish original. Voices and drums. Focus on celebrating Jesus with a person (or people) who are special to you. Great focus on Jesus and the point of His life. Some cultural (even "secular") Christmas references, well-done and appropriate I think. Fun and slower.

8. It's About The Cross - Great song. Medium speed. Lyrics below. Go fish original. Powerful way to bridge Christmas and its importance to Easter. Draws focus from "details" of the holiday to the "big picture." I truly can't pick a favorite between this and number 5. I feel like every line in the whole song is worthy of meditating on. Great song of worship and focus on our wonderful and sacrificial Father and Son. The line that I highlighted in the post below brings tears to my eyes every time I listen to it ("Every drop of blood...").

9. The Little Drummer Boy - You've heard it. They do it well. Starts slow and picks up a bit - great to sing along with (they all are). A great drum "line" - what would you expect? The voice/special/drum effects are very well done and a lot of fun to listen to. A good focus in the middle and at the end of giving what we can, no matter how small (details the "drumming" as service and praise), to our Savior. 3 verses. A lot of activity.

10. My Jesus I Love Thee - Not generally a Christmas song I don't think, but a great focus on praise to our Savior to round out the album. Piano, special effects and drums (I don't remember anything but percussion on any other song). This song, especially the way they do it, brings tears to my eyes. A true pledge of allegiance and love to our Savior Jesus, the Christ of Christmas. 3 verses. Medium speed, and in my opinion, wonderful musicianship and harmony line. I love it.

As you can probably tell, I love this album. I have listened to it a million times in the last month, and am sad to have to put it away for 11 months in a few days. There are a few small things I don't love about it (one that comes to mind is a few references to "kissing" and "mistletoe"). However, all things considered, I will likely be "jamming" to this album every Christmas for a long time.

Christmas With A Capital "C"

2008-12-24T23:44:00.012-06:00

From Go Fish's Album Snow, with comedian Brad Stine (speaking parts - in italics).

Speaking:
I remember when people used to say things like "Merry Christmas" to each other.
Everybody said "Merry Christmas."
"Hey, Merry Christmas to you Mr. Lowenstein."
You know why? Cuz it wasn't about a religion.
It was something as a culture we thought was so valuable
that'd we'd all do it together even if I disagreed with the religion behind it because it was good for all of us instead of just me.
But what do people say now? "Happy holidays."
See I just say "Happy holidays" cuz I don't want to say Christmas cuz
you don't believe in Christmas and I don't want to offend you...

It's called Christmas

Well I went to the coffee shop to get myself a mocha
The lady at the counter said "Happy Holidays"
I said "Thanks lady, I am pretty happy
But there's only one holiday that makes me feel that way and..."

[Chorus]
It's called Christmas
What more can I say
It's about the birth of Christ
And you can't take that away
You can call it something else
But that's not what it'll be
It's called Christmas with a capital C

God's got a law and we've pretty much destroyed it
We're gonna get judged, there's no way to avoid it
But Jesus came down to take the punishment for me
He did it for you too, so now maybe you can see why

[Chorus]

It's called Christmas

Oh yes, we want to say "Happy holidays" because we don't want to leave anybody out. Really, how come there's a ton of holidays in February, and nobody ever says "Happy holidays" in February do they? They say what it is: "Happy Valentine's D..." Ooh, do you believe in love?

It's called Christmas

But nobody wants to say "Christmas" anymore more. Why? I know why - you do too. It's because it's got "Christ" in it, and after 2000 years, He's still intimidatin' people. You see, when a religious Person says "I am the Way" people don't want to hear it. They don't!

It's called Christmas

I say you've got to say "Merry Christmas" cuz it is. You don't believe in it? Fine. But I have a flash for you. Christianity happens to be the religious heritage of my country, whether you like it or not.

It's called Christmas

So if you're not a Christian, or you don't like it, and you don't want Christmas celebrated, God bless ya. But let me tell ya somethin', if you think you're gonna stop me from saying it because it offends you, hey I've got a flash for ya: Put a helmet on! It's my country too!

[Chorus x2]

It's About The Cross

2008-12-24T23:34:00.006-06:00

From Go Fish's Album Snow.

It's not just about the manger where the Baby laid
It's not all about the angels who sang for Him that day
It's not just about the shepherds or the bright and shining star
Oh, it's not all about the wisemen who traveled from afar

[Chorus]
It's about the cross
It's about my sin
It's about how Jesus came to be born once
So that we could be born again
It's about the stone
That was rolled away
So that you and I could have real life someday
It's about the cross

It's not just about the presents underneath the tree
It's not all about the feeling that this season brings to me
It's not just about coming home to be with those you love
Oh, it's not all about the beauty and the snow I'm dreaming of

[Chorus]

The beginning of the story is wonderful and great
But it's the ending that can save you and that's why we celebrate

It's about the cross
It's about my sin
It's about how Jesus came to be born once
So that we could be born again
It's about God's love nailed to a tree
It's about every drop of blood that flowed from Him
When it should've been me
It's about the stone that was rolled away
So that you and I could have real life someday
It's about the cross

**Bolded emphasis mine.

The Bible Supports Gay Marriage?!?

2008-12-13T16:59:00.006-06:00

A few weeks ago some of you may have seen this attention-grabbing headline on the MSN homepage: The Bible Supports Gay Marriage. When I saw the title I was afraid to read on, but had to. Since then I have read on msn that there was a backlash and that the source who originally printed the article (Newsweek) received a fair amount of mail and criticism for printing such a thing. Here's the link to the article, if you haven't already seen it:

Our Mutual Joy - Cover Story: Gay Marriage

Oh there's a lot to say after reading something like that. But I am going to leave the arguements to the experts - there are many people out there much smarter and well-versed in Scripture than I am to be defending our Bible and the sanctity of marriage as the Bible would actually define it.

However, I will say this: This article did stir up a few emotions in me. First, I am angry. This is my Bible, and people are twisting and manipulating it in stark contrast to what Scripture actually indicates. This is an attack on my God and my Bible and I don't like it. My children will have to grow up in a world where this nonsense is taking over, and people are twisting the Bible to say what they want it to say so they can do what they want to do and have a "clear" conscience. And there are "Christians" out there who are going to jump on the bandwagon in the name of tolerance or ease and buy into this. They will read the article (or a million others out there just like it) and think "Yeah, ok. That makes sense. And it's certainly popular. I guess I can see it. I'll go with it." And that same Christian who thinks this will allow these negligent thought processes influence their political stance, their interpretation of the Bible in other realms, and even what is to be tolerated in the churches they attend. We are becoming lazy and complacent in our Christian standards and every time we do it becomes easier to do what feels ok rather than what Christ would desire.

I am also sad. It breaks my heart to see people turning their backs on God in this way. The person who wrote this article knows a fair amount about what is actually written in the Bible. Yet somehow she is seriously missing the point. And she's not alone. And, as I mentioned above, there are many people who call themselves Christians who go along with this twisted thought process and then somehow try to justify it with the Bible. Ouch. It makes me very sad to see how far our society has fallen, and I can't believe how fast it happens. And I am also sad for the many who blindly receive poor counsel, and buy into it, and make grave and sometimes fatal (literal and figurative) mistakes with their lives based on misinformation.

The God I know from reading the pages of the Bible does not like this. He will not approve or bless our society for embracing blasphemy to His name such as is written in the words of this article. Christian, my plea to you is this: Stand up for what you believe. And figure out what you believe from reading God's Word, not Newsweek. And be ready for a fight, because in this day and age, if you do those two things, you will be standing in the company of very few.

27 Things About Me In No Particular Order

2008-12-05T09:24:00.008-06:00

Note: This idea was stolen from the blog of a friend. Betsy did this first and I'm copying it now - hope that's ok Betsy! :)

1. I play the trumpet, and I started in the 5th grade.
2. I have been to India 3 times and Mexico once.
3. I love to paint my nails but have never had a professional mani/pedi. And I don't want one - I'd rather do it myself.
4. I cried the day the last original Friends was aired. And I'll probably cry during the last ER.
5. I love my family more than I can articulate, though I don't tell them nearly enough.
6. Though sometimes we want to beat each other over the head, I love my husband more than I ever could have hoped for and I can't imagine navigating life with any other person. I am so blessed to be married to my best friend.
7. I love volleyball. I would play it all the time if I could. But I'm truly not that good at it. I am a better coach than I am a player.
8. I don't pray nearly enough.
9. I would rather have a few close friends than a million blah acquaintances. I am so thankful for the people I can truly call friends (you know who you are).
10. I like to scrapbook but am waaaaay behind.
11. I am a perfectionist - 100%. Sometimes it's annoying.
12. I have a hard time admitting fault, and an even harder time apologizing.
13. I have somewhat of a weakness for designer handbags.
14. I am a Christian. Every thing I learn about Jesus makes me realize how little I actually know.
15. I did not grow up with inside pets, but now have 3 inside doggies, and can't imagine my life without them.
16. I cannot have a baby. I have known this for over 2 years now and sometimes it still devastates me more than I can describe.
17. I love children. No matter to age, gender, personality - every single child is a special little person in their own way. They make me smile.
18. It is my plan to get a Master's in Nouthetic (Christian) Counseling someday. I have only taken one class, but truly feel it's my calling in life.
19. I enjoy formulating intelligent answers and arguments.
20. I like the taste of nearly every food on the planet except sauerkraut. If I don't like a food, it's generally because I don't like its texture. And I might even like sauerkraut - I haven't had it since I was like 6.
21. I like to read just about anything, and I'm a fairly fast reader.
22. I have names for my future children picked out. And I have bought a ton of baby/toddler clothes.
23. I wish I had a clean house. I could organize anything (including a pile of garbage), but if you saw my house, you'd never know it.
24. I like to write. And I like to blog. Maybe I'll write a book someday.
25. I believe God has the adoption of children in our family plan. We hope to adopt a child from an orphanage in India sometime next year.
26. I've always had a tough persona, and I think it surprises people who have known me for a long time to find out how sensitive and spiritual I really am. I could cry at the drop of a hat these days, but still have a hard time letting myself cry in front of others (even my husband).
27. Today is my birthday :)

Note #2: This is my 100th blog post :)

I'm Back :)

2008-12-02T20:49:00.003-06:00

Hello, nice to talk to you all again :) It's been a while... I'm still here, and still kickin'. We had a fairly busy November, and December doesn't seem to be coming at us any slower (yikes!). But I have had a few things I have been meaning to post about for what seems like FOREVER! So I am going to see if I can make some progress in the next few weeks here.

A bit of an update, for those who are interested, on the last 2 posts I wrote (in November): I posted them on another site as well, and received quite a bit of feedback on that site. Especially on the second one I wrote (posted here on Nov 5). Quite a bit of feedback from people who aren't Christians, and who strongly disagreed with me and were even offended by what I said. So, I took the opportunity to respond to their responses to my original note(s). I wrote a VERY LONG response, addressing a few of them individually. I didn't post that response on here - partially because you who read on here would not be able to read what I was responding to, so it might not make a whole lot of sense. Also, it was very long - very, very long. So - if any of you did not have a chance to read what I wrote, and would like to, let me know. I'd be more than happy to send you my response (or tell you how to access it yourself). I also got quite a bit of feedback on this final response. Some people even deleted what they said - as some of my "commenters" were commenting on what others had commented (sounds confusing doesn't it). Anyways, all this writing any commenting kinda burned me out for a bit - which is why I haven't written in a while.

Also, Narasimha and I went to New Jersey last week, so I will plan to post trip highlights in the next few days.

And, I am excited: There have been a few answers to prayer regarding some friends - see sidebar on right.

Well, Now What?

2008-11-05T10:27:00.003-06:00

America has spoken, and we have elected a new President. Am I worried? When I rely on my human understanding of the situation, and what this could mean for our country's policies and rules on a moral level, the answer is definitely yes. Especially when you consider that he has so much support from congress - I think there is a historic number of liberals in Washington, starting in January. Yikes! But, God says that He knows what is going on. Isaiah 55:8-9 says "For My thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways My ways, says the Lord. For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are My ways higher than your ways, and My thoughts than your thoughts." He has a plan, and trust me, I really don't see how He's going to pull this one off, but it's ok. I don't need to. He doesn't need my help. I did what I needed to do yesterday at the polls, and He knows my heart. For reasons only God probably understands at this time we as Christians don't seem to have much leverage in government these days (Democrats probably think they understand, but I find it very unlikely that they know God's reason for their having taken overwhelming control in Washington).

So, what now? That is definitely the question of the hour. I have a few points, but I certainly don't have all the answers:

1. Pray. America has never needed it more. Pray that our leaders' attention stays on things temporal and doesn't drift into the moral. Let them spend all our money if that's what they have to do (it hurts to say that). I am praying that their left-wing moral issues and agenda don't infiltrate our nation and take over. Abortion as a means of birth control, redefining marriage, you get the idea.

2. Get ready. We are in the end times. We all know it. The prophesies have been fulfilled. Jesus is coming back someday - and I am not kidding when I say that after last night, it looks like sooner rather than later.

3. Respect your President. Didn't vote for him/don't like him? Doesn't matter. He's your leader, whether you like it or not. And God demands that you give your respect to him. What does this mean when you disagree with what he's doing as leader? You may operate your voice in government as much as you are legally allowed, when done in respect. Call your representative. Write letters. Support good causes. You may not: talk bad or disrespectfully about President Obama. Attack him, or his family, on a personal level. The lines are blurry here. When necessary: attack the policies, not the people. Just remember: America voted, but ultimately God placed this man in the position of authority in our country. You have an amazing opportunity to be a witness to those around you when you deal God's way with (good, bad, other) authority in your life.

2 Timothy 2:13-17 Therefore submit yourselves to every ordinance of man for the Lord's sake, whether to the king as supreme, or to governors, as to those who are sent by him for the punishment of evildoers and for the praise of those who do good. For this is the will of God, that by doing good you may put to silence the ignorance of foolish men - as free, yet not using liberty as a cloak for vice, but as bondservants of God. Honor all people. Love the brotherhood. Fear God. Honor the king.

There is a lot more here than meets the eye if you are reading the passage for the first time, but no matter what you can get the general idea that God demands respect from us for our earthly leaders.

4. Respect God more. We are to respect our human authority, but always over that is our respect for God. If our government tells us to do (or allows us to do) something that is in contrast to the Word of God, we are to obey God. There are more ways that this could be manifested than any of us can ever imagine. Be ready to take action. And know God's Word well enough that you have discernment when the time comes.

5. Be thankful. This is monumental in America's history. I personally am thrilled that he got elected for one reason: he's black. Let me explain. I didn't vote for him, and I would never let someone's skin color influence my vote. But, now that he's in office (or will be in a few months), I am thankful that America has risen above its racist roots. Even in southern states, which is a little more surprising based on history, Obama got a decent share of the vote. That is big news, and it is important. I believe God is color-blind (remember the song "red and yellow, black and white, they are precious in His sight?") and we are sending a powerful message to the rest of the world, and to those who are still racist in our own country, that we have moved past that. We are better than that. I am thankful. There is much, MUCH more to be thankful for than just the issue of race. When I try, I can think of lots of things. That's just the only one I'm going to talk about here.

What do you think? Have anything to add? This certainly isn't exhaustive, but it's a start. I value your opinion.

Vote!

2008-11-03T08:04:00.002-06:00

Tomorrow is election day - if you don't know that then you've been living under a rock for a while now. And, you've heard people telling you to take advantage of your voice in this country. Here it comes from me:

Many, MANY people have sacrificed and given of their time, energy, talents and even lives that we all might live in a country that is free, and where we the people get to elect those who govern us. You owe it to all of them to use this gift they fought so hard for.

It is your responsibility - this is your country. Don't like the way it's going? I certainly don't. If you don't vote, you have no right to offer your opinion about this country's direction, ideals, etc.

We all know we should vote, but how do we choose who to vote for? I will not tell you who to vote for, but can I please ask, especially if you call yourself a Christian, to vote according to your faith, and not the reasons society and the news media would give you to try to scare you with. Yes, our economy is tanking. Yes, our country is in a mess. Yes, we're all falling on bad times. (An issue for another day, and one I probably won't ever cover here, is whether the news media is hyping all of that up for their own political agenda...).

Life in America has probably seen better days. I whole-heartedly believe, however, that the reason for that is that we as a country are turning our backs on God. We have kicked God out of nearly every aspect of our country - we are all (and by all, I certainly don't mean those of us who are fighting and praying against it, but rather, just the general trend of our country) doing all we can to make sure God is out of our country and our lives. We forget that the very premise and ideals this country was born on were those of Christian heritage and values. Our country was thriving and successful for many years - we're all still reaping the benefits of the success of our ancestors. But has God had enough of being kicked to the curb and forgotten? I should think so. He's not allowed in our schools, our government, and if some would have their way, he'd be off our money and out of our Pledge of Allegiance. Some would probably like Him to be kicked out of our churches. Welcome to China everyone.

So when you vote, consider this: How do you stand on abortion? What do you want to see happen with this country's definition of one man, one woman marriage? How would it make you feel to see illegal immigrants granted amnesty, or, how do you feel about children of illegals getting automatic citizenship just for being born here? How do you like the idea of paying more taxes so more people can sit at home on their hineys while you pay for their dinner (rent, gas, clothing, medical expenses, .....)? These are all, some much more important and grave than others, but they are all issues of how one values and respects human life. And they are all fundamentally Christian issues.

May I encourage you as a Christian: please vote your values this election. Our economy is bad, but that's just money. There are lives and families on the line here. And also, pray that this country might return to its Christian foundation and ideals. I know that one of the candidates catch phrases is "Change" - and I'm sure that's hardly the change he has in mind for our country. But I maintain that turning our country back into a Christian nation is the only change that's even worth fighting for and talking about.

And no matter what happens at the polls tomorrow, get ready to get on your knees and pray. No matter the political outcome, our country and our people need prayer more today than ever before. Pray for our Commander-in-Chief, no matter who he is or if you voted for him or not. Pray for our congress. Pray for those who write our laws. Pray for our local government. Pray for Bible-believing Christians representing us in our government. Pray for our Christian leaders. Pray for God's sovereign hand in the inner workings of every aspect of our government. We may not feel we have much of a voice in our country these days, but praise God, words directed toward Him are never wasted.

Empty Me

2008-10-30T07:47:00.002-05:00

I heard this song by Chris Sligh yesterday, and for some reason it keeps bouncing around in my head. I even woke up to it this morning. The lyrics are powerful and I wanted to share the words of the chorus:

Empty me of the selfishness inside
Every vain ambition and the poison of my pride
And any foolish thing my heart holds onto
Lord, empty me of me so I can be filled with You

I pray that this is the attitude and focus of my heart as I navigate my day.

Our First Marathon

2008-10-20T12:18:00.003-05:00

We made it! Looking back today (we finished just a little over 24 hours ago from when I am writing this) there were many many times where I wondered if I would. It was fairly grueling. The first half was pretty comfortable for me. At about mile 13, I started to notice my legs getting tired and sore. By about mile 17 I could have stopped and been ok with it. Around mile 19 or 20 I was almost to the point of tears, but then I started almost hyperventilating, and that with running isn't a great combination (my throat got very small), so I had to chill so I could breathe. I wanted to stop so many times. Everything hurt. Probably the one thing I told myself that kept me going was: "If you stop now, it's still going to hurt, and you're going to have to walk all the way back. At least if you run, you'll get there sooner!" The last few miles felt like they were never going to end - each step seemed to hurt more and more. With about a quarter mile left Narasimha grabbed my hand and pretty much literally pulled me over the finish line. Somehow I beat him by 1 second (it was "chip" timing, so he probably technically started a little before me or something).

When we were done, all I wanted to do was sit down - after all, I had been looking forward to that for about 9 miles! But, Narasimha was pumped. Some kind of runner's high or something. He was walking around, eating everything, talking to all these people we knew and didn't. It was pretty funny. He's already talking about doing another one.

I know we could do better - we did not train as well as we could have. In the last 6 weeks of our training schedule, we missed over 100 miles of running, and that was out of only 270 miles. Which is too much to miss if you want to be consistent. So, all of that considered, I think we did pretty well. Our time was 4:02:42. That's an average of 9:16 minutes/mile. Our first 13 miles were under 9:00 pace, and then until mile 21 we were under 10:00 pace, but from mile 22 until the end our pace was over 10:00 - as you can see, we just slowly ran out of juice. But, we finished, and we never walked (we knew if we stopped to walk, even for a bit, we'd have not been able to convince our legs to run again!), and I think we did the best we could :)

Thanks to everyone who offered encouraging words during training or before the race - you are appreciated!

Just a few minutes before the start.

This was a little before the half-way mark - mile 13 was just a little after this.

Almost there - Narasimha has my hand and is determined that I will finish with just about a block or so to go!

Done - just by a few minutes, and talking to my mom and sisters.

Some of our cheering squad - my mom (middle) and sisters. Some of our friends from Narasimha's work also came to cheer for us, and then some friends from around my parent's house were there as well.

I Failed :(

2008-10-17T13:24:00.004-05:00

Well, I did not reach my goal to get 100 posts in the 1st year of my blog :( But, happy birthday to my blog :) It's today. And I think this is something like my 94th post. So close... I'm really not that broken up about it - just kidding ;)

Hope everyone has a good weekend - I'm planning on posting about how our marathon went early next week - it's on Sunday :)

A (Long) Change

2008-10-14T15:11:00.007-05:00

I just axed off most of my hair. I have been thinking about cutting it for a while, and did, until about an hour ago, have very long hair (when straight it went to at least my lower back). Then I thought, well, if I am going to cut more off than just a trim, I should really do something with it. So I decided to do Locks of Love.

I got to the place, and I had thought that they needed 8 inches - turns out they really need 10. But before they cut it they put it in a ponytail, and then they cut straight across from that. Then when it's off, it's all jagged, so they have to even it out (the hair around your face is an inch or 2 longer than what's in the back). So I lost 10 + 1 or 2 inches - right around a foot of hair. It was pretty long before, so I think it's still about shoulder length.

After I got it done, I went to Narasimha's office to show him (he didn't know I was going to do it). I thought it would take him a minute to get used to, and then he'd like it. Turns out, he doesn't. I knew he liked my long hair, but figured, it's just hair, right? I'm sure he'll get used to it in time.

So now I will start growing my hair out again - in a few years it will be the same length it was earlier today. Now I'm going to hit the shower before Narasimha gets home so I can try to make it look good, and maybe that'll help talk him into liking it. Although next time I do this, I think I will straighten my hair before I go - I think because my hair is wavy/curly, I probably lost at least an inch, maybe 2, more than I would have if my hair had been really straight when they cut it.

How long it was on July 4, 2008.

How long it is after my cut - although it is straight here and I really won't straighten it very often.

Update as of 8:30 PM: Narasimha has decided that it "isn't so bad" now that he has seen it done. I kinda like it, and it feels so light!!! And easy! And sometimes something a little different is just fun :)

Focus

2008-10-08T22:59:00.004-05:00

Wow, do I ever feel "busy." Life seems to be sprinting along at a whirlwind pace, and I am somewhat bouncing along behind trying to catch my breath (picture one of those pop cans tied to the back of a wedding getaway car - that's how I feel). And I don't even have a job or kids. Here's some of what's going on/coming up in our lives:

- We're trying really hard to focus and get our adoption paperwork sent in. Ugh - we're so slow!
- I have (of course) procrastinated the homework for the class I am taking this fall. It's now due in 2.5 weeks, by mail, and I am working in overdrive.
- I was just asked to coach the volleyball team that I coached last year. This will likely start around the end of October, as it runs during what is usually the high school basketball season.
- We are still training for our marathon, which is a week and a half away. We are both battling injuries, and our training has not gone as planned, so I feel like we're actually starting to lose shape a little, and at this point I think I'll be happy if we finish. I would say we're probably in shape to run a race in the 18-20 mile range, so 26.2 will be pushing it.
- Taj's test for therapy dog is in Nov sometime. I never trained him, and I'm thinking about just winging the test. We'll see how he does. We did work with them as puppies quite a bit, but I don't know a lot about the specifics of this test.
- Narasimha and I were asked to be 2 of the 4 leads in our church's Christmas play (Joseph and Mary). Narasimha's part includes a vocal solo. He has a nice singing voice, but has never had any instruction ever at all whatsoever. Never. Not even like little kid music class in elementary school. So, I get to teach him how to sing. By December. And I'm certainly no master myself.
- We're planning a trip this fall to the east coast to visit family.
- I have been praying to be more involved in our church. It is happening, in many ways, all at once.
- And, once our adoption paperwork is sent in, we will be doing a homestudy, so trying to be more prepared for that.
- Our social engagements have been increasing in number and frequency (friends, family, church, N's work, etc.).
- Not to mention, we're still in the middle of some home improvement projects, so I am trying to keep up with the regular housework, continue to unpack, and do the things like painting and finishing things up.

As you can see, we've got a full plate (although it doesn't look as bad in list form as I feel when I run it all through my head!). And I'm so happy; I wouldn't have it any other way. I am excited for everything that's on our list. But it all adds up, and sometimes I feel overwhelmed and tired just thinking about it.

I have also been very convicted while working on the homework for my class. Especially today. My God is a jealous God, and even things that are good in and of themselves become bad when they are put in a higher position than God in my life. I have tried to meditate on this truth today: Anything and everything I do, no matter what it is, should be done with the primary purpose of pleasing God. Whether its laundry, going for a run, going over lines for a Christmas play, or spending some relaxing time with my hubby - there is a way to do all of these things, and all of the things in my list, and still be pleasing to my Savior. I find it's easy to get distracted, and to forget my goal. Easy to lose focus. So I will focus on not losing focus on what really matters in my everyday life - from the mundane to the extraordinary. If God comes first then it's still worth doing.

Running Woes

2008-10-04T09:16:00.002-05:00

I am writing today to talk about something that has become a big part of our life in recent months. And by a big part, I mean big in the consumption of our time and energy. We have always liked to run. There have been different times in our marriage where running consistently wasn't an option, for whatever reason. But, back around the beginning of 2008 we decided that we were going to take our physical fitness more seriously. So we joined the gym, and made a work-out plan. We ran a 20K (12.4 miles) back in May, and really enjoyed it. We even walked away from it talking about how we could improve our running from that point. We were doing well, so we started a training program to run a marathon. The training was going well, so back in July, we registered to run a marathon (the earlier you decide and pay, the cheaper the race fee is). We continued to do well with our training until about a month or so ago.

At this point, we are supposed to be running almost 60 miles a week. We are not. Every week for about the last month, we have missed at least 1 run, and I can feel it taking its toll on our training. I know we're in shape - last night we ran 15 miles at a good pace, and by the end I was tired and sore, but far from dying.

I did not consider what we would have to give up to run so much. First, I didn't consider the time. If each mile on average takes 10 minutes (it doesn't - we run closer to 8:30 pace, or try to - but for the sake of the simplicity of math involved) then to run 60 miles a week would take roughly 10 hours. And, there is travel time to the place we run, and time to warm up and stretch and cool down, etc. Also, by the time you finish running 15-22 miles (our long runs) you are too tired and sore to do anything else. Not to mention, the days are getting shorter and shorter, so trying to get the run done by sunset is also a challenge (and if you are running in the dark, you get to hear the critters in the bushes beside you, and you get to step on like a million frogs on the trail - EWW!).

We are also both experiencing aches and pains that sometimes feel like more than just aches and pains. Narasimha's knee (his ilio-tibial band, or ITB, to be exact) has given him problems. I have terrible hips, and they hurt almost constantly and pop like crazy. My ankles also get very sore. I must say though - my issues seem to get better as I am running longer. Narasimha's knees are pretty ok right now, but are a little flakier than my joints. I think much of our pain could be alleviated with some good cross-training, but we don't have the time or calories at the end of the day to devote to that, at this point.

I am also disappointed with myself in the way that in the grand scheme of things, running isn't that important in my life. Yet somehow through all this training, it has taken a front row seat to almost everything that I do consider more important than running.

The positives of running: I am in good shape - my resting heart rate is probably low to mid-40's. When I get to bed, I sleep like a rock. Running is our "family time" together, and in my mind, it's better than watching TV all the time (which we no longer have time for). You can eat anything and everything you want, and you're still hungry! :) And, thinking toward the future: Even though we don't plan on running another marathon anytime soon, we do plan to keep running a not insane amount, and we feel we're getting ourselves in a good habit of exercise to be a good example to our kids when we have them.

So, there's my sob story. The marathon is 2 weeks from tomorrow (Oct 19). If I live through it, I'll post pics. If you wonder why I never post (or do anything else) anymore, here's 99% of the reason. Any words of wisdom out there?

I Timothy 4:8 For bodily exercise profits a little, but godliness is profitable for all things, having promise of the life that is now and of that which is to come. NKJV

"Broken"

2008-09-18T00:58:00.002-05:00

It's late, and I can't sleep. Last night we had a fairly grueling workout in training for our marathon (we ran 19 miles) so when we got home neither of us felt very good and decided to call it a night early. Well, after 2 hours of sleep I woke up hungry. I made it to the kitchen for a midnight snack (I don't think I've ever done that before) and hoped to fall back asleep for the rest of the night. No such luck. I've been lying there for an hour now, wide awake. And my mind has drifted to this post I've been meaning to write, which probably woke me up more. So, here I find myself in front of the computer at 1 AM (I will likely regret this timing tomorrow).

The history: I received an anonymous comment about a month ago on one of my posts from several months back. This particular comment happened to be about something that I haven't blogged about (and there's a reason for that, which I'll go into in a little bit) but is actually from real life. As I read the comment I was initially very shocked, and a little hurt and defensive, but decided that I wanted to say some things in return for what this person said to me. I also didn't want to respond right away because I wanted to pray about my words and make sure I was responding out of love, not pride. And, I really don't have an option but to put it here, as I really have no clue who said it, and since it came to me from the blogosphere, I guess that's where I get to deal with it. That also means that the opinion that some of you may have of me, especially if you know me in real life, may suffer. I guess this is where I get to put my pride on the shelf, and pray to be an instrument of Christ to clear this all up. This is some pretty heavy stuff - hold on to your seat. Here is the comment I received (direct quote, with some grammar fixes):

"Kristina-
It has been mentioned to me that in some circles you have referred to your future child as "broken."
After hearing that, I came here VERY judgmental but reading your blog I do not see any of that in your writing.
Perhaps you did not realize that your words offended others so but I just ask that when you are referring to your future child that may have a medical condition that you state it as so instead of calling the child "broken."
I can tell that you will love and care for any child that God blesses you with so please be respectful of how you are referring to that child before they arrive. Otherwise someday they may speak to someone who heard you refer to them otherwise and be hurt by those words.
Also, anyone who has a child with physical or mental impairments may be very offended by hearing you use those words in that context. To them, their children are perfect gifts from God. If God does not make mistakes then every child is born perfect and no child is ever "broken."
Take care and just remember that any child that you are blessed with will be a gift from God and you should begin acting that way now, not later."

Wow, that's a lot of information to take in in just a few sentences. I feel like I have to start by saying that I am very, very sorry for saying something that obviously hurt someone's feelings, and now that this is out there, has the potential to hurt the feelings of or offend more who may read this. Yes, it's true. I have called our future child "broken." If that offends you or hurts your feelings in any way, I am very sorry for saying something so insensitive and hurtful. Was what I said in bad taste? Obviously. Hurtful? Probably, maybe more to some than others. Meant to hurt anyone's feelings? Not in a million years. Please accept my most sincere apologies.

Now, with my honest apology on the table, I would like to talk a little bit about why I have said this, actually on more than one occasion.

First, I want to say that there is a reason that I have never used such a word in the writing on this blog. I have only ever said it when talking to people in real life. The reason for that is because obviously such a description of a human child could be hurtful and offensive, and when I said it in real life, I thought that I only said it around people who knew me well enough to know that 1. I was joking and 2. It wasn't a value statement about the child. Apparently I said it to someone who did not take it as one of those things, and who passed along to someone else my insensitive comment (or maybe was a person who heard me say it?). Joking/sarcasm in writing are hard to pick up, so unless it's very very obvious, I try to avoid doing that. Especially in the case of a blog, where you might not always personally know the people who may be reading what you write, and things said could be quite easily misunderstood.

Second, I would like to explain "broken" and what I think about that, and why I took the liberty of saying that. I said I was sorry for hurt feelings, and I meant it, but after much thought I do not retract my statement (though I will likely not use that word much from here on out to avoid misunderstandings such as the one that lead to the need for this post). Narasimha and I have talked a lot and prayed about the decision we made to accept, and even seek out, adopting a child with medical needs. This child, in a physical sense, will be "broken." In some sense, aren't we all broken? Back in the time of Adam and Eve in the beginning of Genesis, sin entered the world. From that point forward, no child was ever conceived who did not have sin and brokenness as a part of their genetic makeup. And no child was conceived before The Fall, so every single child in the history of the world that has ever been conceived has been broken. The only exception to this rule is Jesus Christ Himself, and that was because He does not have a human father. Jesus was fully human, which he got from Mary His mother, and also fully God, as we know He came from a virgin birth (thus not having a human father). This sin manifests itself in many ways, and we are all hopelessly broken. To clarify: I am not trying to say that the child, or any child who has physical problems from birth, has physical problems due to a specific sin they may have committed (though later in life, this is certainly possible), but simply that sickness and suffering are the result of the sinfulness of humanity. Before sin there was no suffering. As sin entered the world, so did every problem that humankind has ever had. I do not believe that this is coincidental. The child we will adopt will likely have (we don't know who we're adopting yet, so we don't actually know what the problem will be) a medical problem. If a child is born perfectly healthy, with no apparent medical issues, certainly it won't take long for the "brokenness" of the child to become obvious. The child who is healthy at birth could very easily become physically sick at some point, or could have mental or emotional shortcomings, or any combination of these or other problems. As much as we like to hold small babies and adore them and talk about how "perfect" they are, most of us will readily admit that really sooner rather than later that child's imperfections are bound to become obvious. Are they cute? Most of the time :) Loveable? Of course. Perfect? Unless you're holding Jesus II, which is Biblically impossible, no. I respectfully disagree that God creates any child to be perfect. Every child is always exactly what God wants them to be, of that I am absolutely sure and for that we can always rejoice, but by definition, they are not perfect and are not created to be.

And, more important in my mind than understanding and expecting "brokenness" is being able to truly embrace it and be thankful for it. I am 100% aware that I am broken, and I have absolutely full intentions of raising my children to know that they too are broken. No matter if I physically birth them or adopt them with medical needs, or adopt a child with no medical needs, etc. Without honestly admitting personal "brokenness" there is no need for a Savior. If I am fine, and good, all on my own, what need do I have for Jesus in my life? My absolute very most important job as a mommy is to incarnate, or put flesh on, or accurately represent Jesus to my children, with the hope and prayer that someday my children will be able to totally and fully trust and love Him as I am currently working towards in my own life. There is very real danger in allowing any child to believe for any time that they are perfect. From a parental perspective, if I allow my child to believe that I think they are perfect, and that I love them, they may start to believe that I love them because they are perfect. They will inevitably one day find out that they're not perfect, and might then question my love for them. They might also become dishonest with themselves about their own value as a person - resulting in either excessive pride and arrogance or self-hatred and shame. It is essential to my success as a parent that my children know that I love them not because of what they do, but because of who they are. And that their position in our family is always and forever and no matter what. That the love that I have for them is a kind of love that doesn't run out or have impossible conditions. And by loving that way, I will be able to show my child a glimpse of just how much his/her Heavenly Father loves him/her. Just as in a parental perspective, it is even more important that my child understand unconditional love to understand God's love from a Biblical perspective. As I learn to parent my child, my love, and my skills as mommy, will have shortcomings. Probably many of them. My humanity will show and my own imperfections and brokenness will become very obvious to my child. Where my love falls short, God's love takes over, and just like the energizer bunny, keeps going, and going, and going... And, although God hates sin, it does not surprise Him that we are sinful. He created each one of us, and also allows us to have our own free will. He doesn't like our sin, but He expects it, and even better yet, sin itself is essential to our needing His Son Jesus Christ. To give my child an accurate view of him/herself and an accurate view of God, and his/her place in the family of God, I find it impossible to give my child anything other than thankfulness for everything he/she has and is - whether the world would look at those things as a blessing or a curse. 2 Corinthians 12:9-10 says "And He said to me, 'My grace is sufficient for you, for My strength is made perfect in weakness.' Therefore most gladly I will rather boast in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me. Therefore I take pleasure in infirmities, in reproaches, in needs, in persecutions, in distresses, for Christ's sake. For when I am weak, then I am strong." NKJV This is one of my favorite verses.

To understand all of this, for my child, will also hopefully serve as a lesson in the sovereignty of God. I would never not tell my child that he or she was adopted. I do not believe that an adoption is something to hide, but rather, a beautiful way God makes a family out of people who do not share the same genetic material. I will also not hide from my child or anyone else the fact that Narasimha and I felt burdened to adopt a child with medical needs. Our decision was not to be able to feel better about ourselves, and look down on a poor and pitiful child. For us, it is simply coming to the realization that neither of us would be passing on perfection that we don't have to a biological child if we were able to have one, and any biological child of ours could be compromised physically, mentally, emotionally just as could be any adopted child. If we're honest, both of our bodies are so broken that we can't even make a baby. For that we're also learning to not just tolerate, but actually be thankful for. In addition to that, we have the resources to be able to correct what may be physically wrong, and allow the child to live a healthy and productive life. Not because of anything we've done, but because of all of the ways God has blessed us. This information will all be available to our child, and he/she will likely come to the point where they know that it was actually because of their brokenness, in a sense, that we knew God had chosen him/her for our family. And we hope and pray that they can be thankful for being a part of our family (even if not until their teenage years are over :).

Another reason for my use of the word, and this isn't a great reason, but since I'm being as honest as I can here, I'm going to put it out there, is because this adoption is very scary to me at times. I think the unknown always has the potential to be scary - especially with something that's such a big deal. I have never really known anyone who had a really serious medical condition, especially so early in life. To think that a child that I will bring home, and fall quickly head-over-heels in love with will have to suffer, and that I will have to helplessly stand by and watch, already makes me very sad and nervous. I used to work in and around the operating room at the hospital I worked at. I remember vividly small kids being taken to surgery - taken from the safe arms of mommy and daddy and poked and prodded and whisked off into the world of the unknown - for them and their parents. Many of them cried and were very scared. And then, as they wake up from surgery, as the anesthesia is wearing off, they will cry again because they are confused and scared and physically hurting. Many of them are inconsolable, even when reunited with their parents. Though I believe the pain on both the part of the child and of Narasimha and I will be worth it, it will still be a tough situation. I tend to "joke" when I'm nervous or uncomfortable, and saying a word like "broken" for some reason takes a little of the weight and gravity of the situation away in my own mind. There is a chance that our child will need open-heart surgery. I know just enough about medicine, and Narasimha as a physician obviously knows a lot about medicine, that even though we trust God entirely with any situation, we still feel and will continue to feel scared and nervous and as the situation comes closer, and a whole host of other emotions as well.

Once again, if I have hurt your feelings by my unkind words, I am sorry. If you left the comment (for which I can truly say "thank-you" - not only for bringing it to my attention, but for giving me the opportunity to say the things I have said here, which I think are important) I hope I have cleared up what must have been going through your head.

Christian: What "brokenness" are you refusing to embrace and be thankful for in your own life, or in the life of someone close to you? What "brokenness" are you hiding from the world? How could you use that as a testimony for someone who needs to see Jesus' always unconditional saving love and grace?

If you're not a Christian - if you don't know what I am talking about in the paragraphs above - do the things I've talked about sound enticing to you? How would your life change if you knew that there was always someone who loves you, and who wants the best for you, even at your worst, most broken condition? How would you feel if you knew you could be honest with someone about all your secrets, all your baggage, and you would be loved and welcomed with open arms anyways? What would your life be like if you could lay all of you problems at the feet of Jesus by trusting in Him, and not only have a purpose and fulfillment in your time left on this earth, but also the guarantee of a mansion in heaven and a new life after death that is better than anything you'll ever get here? Questions: contact me at nkiowa@hotmail.com. Or, find a Bible, and start reading in the New Testament (Romans is a good place to start).

I hope I have accurately and selflessly become transparent enough to let you see my heart here. The perk of a blog, in my opinion, is to put yourself out there and be known. Especially to those who personally know me and read this, I hope you get a better view of not only who I am, but who Jesus Christ is making me in light of these life experiences. And, above all, I want to be an encouragement to anyone who may read this, and of course honor Jesus in my life and writing.

And to anyone - please always feel free to comment. I like getting feedback, even if you don't agree with what I say. I try always to respect the opinions of others (though as you can see here, I don't always agree), and will gladly welcome the chance to defend my faith in my Savior, Jesus Christ. Even if sometimes it means I personally look like a fool in the process.

My Goal

2008-09-11T14:55:00.004-05:00

Ok, I have been seriously slacking on tending to this site lately. I've been crazy busy. I just noticed, however, that the one year birthday of this blog is approaching in about another month here, and I am also getting close to my 100th post. So that will be my goal. 100 posts in a year. I have wanted to post about many different things over the last few months, and have been procrastinating. So I won't really have to think about things to talk about - I'll just have to find the time to put my thoughts into words (which I tend to be very slow at). So stay tuned - maybe there will actually be new stuff up here in the next few weeks (although I can't offer any promises) :) And, surprise-wrecker here, there might actually be an update about the adoption one of these days. Thanks to you who visit my site - I don't know who all of you are, but I know you're stopping by cuz my little counter down in the corner tells me there's traffic :)

What Were You Doing?

2008-09-11T13:39:00.003-05:00

As we all have remembered at least once today by this time, today marks the 7-year anniversary of the horrific Sept. 11 attacks on America's east coast. Of course there will be news coverage, so we have some help in remembering to remember the events of that day.

The morning of the attacks I had class at 8:05 - Interpretation of Literature. Of course 8:05 Iowa time is 9:05 EST, so by the time class started some already knew about it. I didn't - the first attack would have probably taken place when I was walking to class. There was some talk of a plane crash that morning in class - that it had happened in NYC, and a plane ran into a building...but by then I don't remember there being talk of terrorist activity. My next class was Ultimate Frisbee (yeah, for real). By the time we got to that class, there was a little more information, but I don't think any of us yet knew how big that day was going to get (it was still only mid-morning). After that class I walked back to my off-campus apartment, and because of all the chatter of this plane crash, I clicked on the TV and witnessed for the first time with my own eyes the sadness and depravity unfolding in my living room. By noon-ish time in Iowa things were very chaotic on the east coast, and there were TV crews everywhere documenting what was going on. You remember the scene: people bloody and covered in white dust running down the streets confused and crying, people as small as dust particles jumping out of windows from the burning towers, make-shift hospitals set up in the streets, papers and dust everywhere in downtown NYC. I think they replayed the planes crashing into the sides of the buildings and the towers crashing down about a million times (as if once wouldn't have been enough to burn the image into anyone's brain). I stood there all alone in my apartment's living room and cried.

That afternoon we had Marching Band practice at 3:30. When I got there everyone was pretty solemn and some of the girls were crying. They sent us all home and told us to go call our parents, just to say hi.

My brother-in-law worked in NYC at the time, though I didn't know him yet. He was several blocks away from the attacks, but he did get stranded in the city for the night. I don't even know that Narasimha was able to get ahold of him for several hours to find out that he was ok.

7 years have passed, and I still feel very sad when I think about that day. With the exception of my brother-in-law, I don't even personally know anyone who was involved in the events of the day. When we visited NYC a few years ago I saw the old site of the WTC, and to me, it just looked like a big hole in the ground. I can tear up even thinking about the many that were devastatingly personally affected by all that happened that dreadful day.

This is not intended to be any sort of a political post, but here are some things to think about: How do the events of that day, and things that have transpired in our nation since then, affect our upcoming presidential election? What can you personally take responsibility for to make sure attacks like that don't happen in our country again? Do you remember to pray for those who lost and suffered as a result of the attacks? If you are a Christian, how are you showing your Jesus to the world around you?

What are your memories of the day? Do you have any questions to add to the few I put in the previous paragraph?

One Down...

2008-08-16T12:08:00.003-05:00

One to go. I found out when I got home from class last night that Narasimha passed the first step of his Psychiatry Boards! Woohoo! This is the test he took in June. All that work finally paid off. It is a two-step process, so sometime next spring he will have to take the other step, which I believe is in an interview rather than computer-generated format. I think for that one he won't be able to just go to Des Moines - there's a chance he'll have to go all the way to Philadelphia. We still don't know when or where - as more details emerge I will try to keep this updated. So tonight, get ready to par-taaayyyy! Ok, we're really just planning on going out for Mexican food with my dad this afternoon, but who's keeping track of our crazy-exciting life :)

Back to School

2008-08-12T10:55:00.003-05:00

For all the kiddos out there, and for ME! That's right, I went back to school this week. It is something I have been considering doing for a long time, and last week, I decided to take the plunge and go for it. I am enrolled at Faith Baptist Bible College and Theological Seminary in Ankeny, IA. I am taking 1 course this fall - Master's level - called Introduction to Biblical Counseling. It is in "Module" format, which means it only actually meets for a week in the classroom, for 5 hours a day, and then I have a few months to finish the required work. The goal is to eventually finish my Master's degree in Biblical Counseling (or Nouthetic Counseling - I think that's how it's spelled), which will take many more classes than just this one. It will actually take several years to accomplish this because the classes are offered on a very limited basis, and class times overlap, so I will have to wait until I can fit them all in. And, they don't offer all of them in Ankeny, so I will have to go to Indiana once I have 3-5 of the classes completed here in Iowa. I am staying at my parents a few nights this week so I don't have to commute so far every day.

Last night was the first night of class. And, it is pretty much what I expected. Theologically speaking, some of the material will probably test me and my current Biblical knowledge and understanding (which is a great thing - I'm excited). But the general principles are logical, and for someone like me, a Christian who has worked in secular psychology/psychiatry for so long, a breath of fresh air and so very encouraging. I have come to trust and rely on some of what I have learned in my secular studies, as I have tried to filter the information through the Word of God and find what could be applicable/useful for Christians in our society and culture. I am not sure how all of that will fall together. There is so much information between these sometimes seemingly overlapping and sometimes obviously polar-opposite schools of thought - I have a lot of work to do.

May God give me discernment as only He can as I attempt to navigate this flood of information that I feel He has called me to use to change myself, and by His grace alone, be able to one day effectively disciple His own with His Word as my guide.

Iowa State Fair

2008-08-11T09:20:00.001-05:00

We got to go to the Iowa State Fair yesterday, and had a good time. We looked at some of the stuff and ate lots of good food. Narasimha and I went with my family, and also met up with a good friend from high school and her fiancé. It was a beautiful day - not too hot, which is unusual for fair time in Iowa. We only stayed for a few hours, but with the crowds of people and all that's going on, a few hours is definitely enough.

Me and my sister enjoying a corndog. She told me she knew the best stand to get a corndog, and she was right. That was the best corndog I have had in a long time!

Our group: Narasimha, Dad, my sis and her boyfriend, and my other sis and brother. We were resting in the shade and having our first round of calories.

Summer and Exercise

2008-07-28T10:45:00.003-05:00

Narasimha was recently asked to write a few articles for our local paper. He was running out of time, so I helped him with one of them (the one he did on his own was on Alzheimer's dementia). Here is the article that we wrote that was in the local paper - it's kinda long, but we enjoyed writing it, and maybe some of you would enjoy reading it. He told me they were published on Saturday, just a few days ago. What do you think of our article?

Summer and Exercise

Summer is here! And with the warm weather here, it is the perfect time to start an exercise program if you don't already have one established. Here are some guidelines for fun and safety when exercising in the summer, whether you're a seasoned pro or first-time exerciser:

Involve the whole family! Studies have shown that children who exercise on a regular basis are less likely to be overweight over the course of their whole lives, and often have better mental and physical health than their peers who do not exercise. It is safer for children to exercise with adult supervision, and exercising with your kids is a great way to spend extra time having fun with them.

Take advantage of the heat! There some fun things to do in the summer that we as Iowans don't have the luxury of enjoying during other seasons. Many of these things involve water. Take up swimming, boating, or other water-related activities. Put a sprinkler in the yard and run through it with the kids and pets. Just remember water safety - always supervise children when they are enjoying the water, never be alone in the water, and always have enough life jackets for everyone who is along, whether or not they consider themselves to be good swimmers. Remember: Alcohol/street drugs and water activities are a dangerous combination.

Out of the water! There are also many things to do on dry ground: get the bike out of the garage (remember the helmet), dust off those roller blades (remember the pads), join a gym and begin a weight-training regimen, go for a walk, play a round of golf (walking the course is better than driving a cart), play a game of softball, shoot some hoops in the driveway or at a park, hike on a trail, join a yoga or Pilates class, or go to the playground and play with the kids. Even things like yard work get you up and moving - plant and maintain a garden or mow with a push mower.

Safety first! It is always important to be responsible and follow rules of safety when exercising. Always follow water safety (see section above for specifics). Always supervise children. Always be aware of the potential of heat-related illness (see section below for specifics). Always use proper protection equipment for your activity or sport (padding, guards, helmets, safety goggles, etc.). Also remember to apply sunscreen and bug spray, when appropriate. Beware that mosquitoes and ticks can potentially carry diseases like West Nile Disease and Lyme’s Disease, among others - wear proper repellants and check for ticks.

Be aware of heat-related illness! It is important to remember that our bodies are not meant to operate at their best under the most extreme conditions, and Iowa heat can be very extreme during the summer months. Don't over-exert yourself in the heat of the day. Drink plenty of fluids - not just water, but also drinks such as Gatorade that help replenish lost electrolytes. If you start to feel fatigued, weak, faint, have nausea and or vomiting, headache, muscle aches, dizziness, and irritability, or symptoms that resemble a flu-like illness you might be suffering from what is called Heat Exhaustion. Heat Exhaustion can be treated with rest, getting out of the hot environment, and correction of dehydration and electrolyte abnormalities. Cool the body gently with ice packs applied to the neck, groin, and underarms. For mild cases, oral rehydration with electrolytes like Gatorade usually is adequate. For more severe cases (feeling very dizzy and feeling like passing out when standing up) IV fluids may be needed.

If this progresses to a state where a person's body temperature is above 104 F and there are subtle symptoms of impaired judgment, bizarre behavior, hallucinations, altered mental status, confusion, disorientation, and possibly coma (sweating may or may not be present), this could represent a medical emergency called Heat Stroke. If these symptoms set in, seek emergency medical care immediately. Remember, children, the elderly, and animals can be more sensitive to the heat, but can't always tell you how they feel. Always have plenty of fluids available when you are caring for others, and watch carefully for signs of heat-related illnesses in those you spend time with.

Avoid exercise-related injury! Some exercises seem to cause more injury than others. Remember, there's a difference between general aches and soreness from beginning a program, and an actual injury. When you begin a program, it is completely normal to have sore muscles for a few days to a few weeks. Proper stretching of muscles, adequate hydration, and even the application of a hot/cold pack can help alleviate this soreness until your body adjusts. Sticking with your program is also important to make the soreness go away - if you start up and stop and then start up again, you will often feel sore every time you start your program. An actual injury is different than just being sore. If you walk or run, especially on uneven surfaces, be careful not to hurt your ankles/knees by "rolling" an ankle or twisting a knee. If you have just taken up a high-impact activity (running, basketball, etc) avoid injury to joints (with proper strength training and support) and shin splints (pain, minor or severe, in the lower half of your leg). If you have too much joint pain, or develop shin splints, try an activity with lower or no impact, like swimming, biking, yoga, or water aerobics. Always use the proper equipment when participating in any activity to reduce your chances of injury (guards, pads, goggles, etc.) For any swelling of a joint or a bone after a contact injury or fall, or an injury that causes intense pain, seek medical care soon as this could represent an injury that needs to be treated sooner rather than later. If you have an injury that will not get better in a few days to a couple of weeks with rest, ice/heat and the use of over-the-counter pain relief, make an appointment to see your doctor.

Talk to your doctor! If you have not exercised for a while and have medical problems such as diabetes, high blood pressure, heart disease, emphysema or bronchitis, history of seizures, talk to your doctor before you start an exercise program. With exercise, if you ever have chest pain, heart palpitations, lightheadedness, excessive shortness of breath, stop exercising and talk to your doctor as soon as possible.

Move! As with exercise in any season, some is always better than none. Get off the couch - go for a walk in the evening with a friend, go to the pool and walk laps around the shallow end (the resistance of the water will make you work harder than walking on dry ground, and you'll keep cool), or contact a professional to find a program catered specifically for you and your needs.

Be consistent and have fun! In order to see physical improvement, you have to start a program and stick with it. Try to find something or a few things you enjoy and schedule time to do them 4-5 days a week. And make sure it's something you enjoy - you'll be much more likely to stick with your program and see results if your program consists of things you really enjoy doing. Once you have a program that you can follow, gradually increase your workout. If you walked 10 minutes a night every night last week, go for 15 minutes every night this week. As you feel more and more comfortable with your routine, try to add or increase your "aerobic" exercise - this is the exercise that makes your heart beat a lot fast than it does when you're resting, and is the kind of exercise that has the best health benefits.

Enjoy your summer!

ISTJ

2008-07-25T13:28:00.004-05:00

I just took a quiz on Facebook, and it asks you a bunch of questions, and then assigns you to a personality type, using the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator. I got the results of ISTJ. Based on the quiz, I am Introverted (vs. Extroverted), Sensing (vs. Intuition), Thinking (vs. Feeling), Judging (vs. Perceiving). I definitely agree with the Introverted and Thinking, I can kinda see the Sensing, and I don't know what I think about the Judging. I think the whole picture is probably pretty accurate, because I did a web search on my type, and some of the details they listed for people of this type describe me to a T (results I found on Wikipedia here).

I think there's a book out about these types, and if you can figure out what type you are, and the types of some of the people close to you, you can kinda interpret your interactions (say with like a spouse, child, close friend, etc.). I don't read into it too much, but I think if used/considered appropriately, it might be kinda fun and maybe even helpful in some ways.

If you're on Facebook and you want to do this, you have to add the application (you can get the link off my page), and if you don't have Facebook, I am sure there are tests on the internet you could find.

Do you know your "type"? Does it describe you well? If you know me, what do you think about my results?

Wacky Wednesday

2008-07-17T08:52:00.004-05:00

I know it's been a while again...I've been working on some things that are taking some time. Eventually I'll post those, but for now, here's something I did yesterday...

I used to like to mow. At our old house, our yard was about the size of a postage stamp, so even if I weed-eated around the whole house and the whole fence line, and mowed the whole yard with a push mower, I was done in like 30 mins. Now we have a big yard, which I love for some reasons. It's great for the dogs and potential kids, and we live in the country, so it's quiet and peaceful, and is actually one of the main reasons we decided on this house. But wow is it ever painful to mow. By the time I'm done weed-eating here I can't feel my arm (because the machine is so heavy and it takes forever) and then you have to push mow around like a million trees, a swing set, and a very long fence line (inside and outside). And then the riding part after all this takes at least a few hours. To do the whole yard well probably takes at least 5-6 hours.

So anyways, I always put it off as long as I can. I bet our neighbors don't like us because a few of them have Better Homes and Gardens yards. Yesterday it just had to be done. So I cheated, and skipped the weed-eating and push mowing, and was just going to do the rider in the front. I just wanted to be done, so I was driving the mower about as fast as it would go. Narasimha was in the back yard grooming the dogs. We have a ditch that goes along the road in the front yard, and it's curved, and then there's this (not well-kept, of course) landscaping thing in the front right at the top of the ditch, and it has these big bricks going all the way around the outside of it. Ok, now stay with me if you made it through all that... I was mowing, and I went down into the ditch, and back up, at a funny angle, headed toward the bricks from the landscaping. I was turning to go along side the bricks, and I accidentally ran into the bricks, mower full speed, with my front tires turned, and the mower leaning at an angle as it was turning out of the ditch. When I hit the bricks, the mower stopped instantly. I was tipped to the side like the mower was, and the next thing I know, the impact of the stop has put me on the ground, on a hill, beside my mower with the blade still very much moving. The mower is new, so since I fell of and my weight was off the seat, it shut off pretty quick. But still, the first thing I thought as I was landing (and I was landing about as fast as I realized I was falling) was that "I'm going to get mowed!" And then I wondered, without me on there leaning away from the ditch to keep it up, if it would just roll onto its side, right onto me. But, none of the above. As I was getting up I didn't even bother to see if any of the neighbors had seen me, I was so embarrassed (although now I wonder if they did).

I am thankful I didn't get hurt, although my elbow is a little sore because I think I landed funny on my arm. It probably could have been really really bad, but it's not, so it just makes for a random and funny (hopefully, since I put it here for you to read) story about my Wednesday.

Proud To Be An American...

2008-07-04T21:13:00.003-05:00

Happy Birthday to America! We had a fun at a picnic with family and friends at my parent's house today.

Hope everyone had a good time with whatever you did today - Thanks to all in our country's past and present who make celebrations like today possible...

The Move: One Year Later

2008-07-01T09:08:00.003-05:00

It was one year ago today that Narasimha started his new (and current) job. It was around a year ago that we moved from our first home together as a married couple, changed towns and churches, and basically had all we were comfortable with turned upside down.

About a year and a week ago we packed up all our things and our friends and family moved us from our simple home, which we purchased a month after we were married, to a rental in our current town. This rental was in a questionable neighborhood, and was infested with bats, mice, pigeons, bugs, and probably other things I don't even want to know about. We lived there for 3 months, until the city basically kicked us out because our landlord wouldn't fix the house enough to have it up to code.

Fortunately, after living there only 2 months, we found a house to purchase, and for one month we had overlap so we could start some kind-of major home improvements in our new house and still have a place to sleep.

What we miss from our old town:
- Our church.
- Our friends.
- Having friends.
- Some aspects of the town.
- A brand new house that felt like ours and didn't have problems or need major fixes.

What we have gained in the move:
- A sense of the strength of our marriage. We have now been through a few big trials together (infertility, and a move to a new town we aren't crazy about) and I think we both feel closer through surviving these trials.
- A few good friends for which we are grateful.
- Closer to family - Kristina's family is less than an hour away.
- A job that, besides the occasional glitch, Narasimha is really happy with.
- Financial and material blessings.
- A house, that when improvements are done, will probably be comfortable for us and maybe even start to feel like home.
- A new puppy Bella :)

What we still want:
- To feel more at home and associated with our church.
- Spiritual growth - together and individually. We both feel very lacking in this since the move.
- To know of some purpose why God has decided to have us here.
- To start our family asap.
- To stay in touch with the friends we left.

I just can't believe it has been a whole year since we left. Sometimes it seems like just yesterday we were there, and comfortable, and normal. Sometimes I can hardly remember the phone numbers of some of my best friends. Some of our friends have added to their families, and some are about to. Our friends have children who are growing like weeds, who we will probably hardly recognize when we see them again. Narasimha has been practicing all by himself for a whole year. I can still mentally walk through our old house and remember how things looked, and where things were. I can almost even remember what it felt like to be very much more settled than I am starting to wonder if we'll ever be here.

Life is full of changes, whether big or small. We can either embrace them or be stuck living in the past.

Farewell to Friends

2008-06-19T23:37:00.002-05:00

A few years ago when I worked at the hospital I met a girl (woman?) and we quickly became very good friends. We don't actually have a whole lot in common, but she is from the same city Narasimha is from (in India) so we kinda had that to go on.

Over the few years I have known her we have had a lot of fun together, and I fell in love with her little boy during the time I spent with him. I got to babysit him almost every day for several months, and we learned a lot from each other :)

Anyways, she has decided to move to the East Coast so she and her husband can both pursue professional opportunities. I am so happy for them and this step, but I do wish I'd still be able to see them whenever I felt like it.

For dinner we went to this great Indian restaurant, with this booth that had a table very close to the floor (eastern). It was cool and the food was delicious.

Best wishes to Sirisha and her family - Narasimha and I will miss all of you :)

Narasimha and I, and Sirisha and her family.

Me and Sirisha

Green Ride

2008-06-18T23:00:00.003-05:00

Ok, so I guess if you want to be technical it's actually blue and silver. But I wasn't talking about the color green...I was talking about that new trend our society has of labeling environmentally-friendly things "green." And environmentally-friendly this is...

We bought a new little motor scooter today. For those who may know, it's called a 2008 Yamaha Vino 125. We thought about buying one a few years ago when gas prices started spiking, but couldn't afford it at that time. I think now it's likely we'll make up money spent in saved gas (although that could take a while). This little thing gets over 90 mpg! And, it goes at top speed about 60-65 miles per hour (though comfortably for 2 people you could probably expect 40-45 mph). Not bad.

These things are popular this year - we had to drive a few hours (which is a long ways in Iowa) to be able to find a place that had any left.

It also reminds us of India - there these things are the main source of transportation, from anywhere to single people to full families (I have seriously seen 5 people - dad, mom, and 3 kiddos - on one no bigger than this more times than I could count). The roads are so overcrowded there that having anything bigger than this is in many ways a disadvantage - these weave in and out of traffic very well.

So, this little guy easily fits both of us, and for those times that we just need to make a trip into town, and don't have much to carry going or coming, we can ride this. It will likely function as Narasimha's work car when the weather is good.

And, it's fun to ride - you know, with the wind and mosquitoes flowing through your hair :) It'll have to do for now - someday I fully intend on being a "biker babe" with a Harley :) So, now we both have to start studying for our motorcycle license.

Kinda cute, right? :)

The End of the Flood (for us)

2008-06-17T09:19:00.003-05:00

Well, Narasimha did end up staying at work on Friday night. He worked for a few hours on Saturday morning, and by the time he was done, the road was open. He got home right as I was leaving for the baby shower. We made it to our wedding that night.

The water around here has been receding ever since, and moving on downstream, where I hear in southern Iowa they are now getting the brunt of our water.

I don't think anyone in our town sustained massive damage - lots of wet basements but no large-scale destruction. If you have seen the news at all, it is pretty devastating to look at pics from parts of Des Moines, lots of Cedar Rapids, and a good chunk of Iowa City. Not to mention many many other small towns that didn't make the news with the spotlight hanging on those bigger cities, some of which are completely under water.

I am so sorry for those who lost "all" in the flood. My stupid leaky basement doesn't even come close. Yes, it has been annoying, but not life-altering, and I still have a place to sleep, all my personal belongings intact, water to drink, etc. There are many in Iowa (and surrounding states too) who won't be able to say that for a while.

A Wedding, "Old" Friends, and Good Times :)

2008-06-16T10:20:00.003-05:00

The wedding I referred to in a few earlier posts was that of a girl friend from high school. She and her new hubby live in Kansas City, so I rarely get to see her. Narasimha and I did get to go to the wedding, which was very nice, and to the reception which was held close to where I grew up. It was a lot of fun, not only to go to the wedding and see her, but also to see all my friends and some of their significant others, and catch up in what seemed to last a very short time but actually went on for at least a few hours.

At the reception most of us sat at a few tables that were next to each other, so after the meal we all morphed into one big group and sat around telling stories and laughing and chatting about what several of our friends who weren't there are up to, and of course sharing stories about what all of us are doing.

It was fun to see everyone - in the group we had a few farmers, a few teachers, a few med students, a law student, an engineer, a couple of business people, a doctor, a few coaches, and probably others I'm forgetting. And me, a "homemaker."

I really did have a good time seeing everyone. I wish it was possible to see people more often, but maybe not seeing them is the way to appreciate time when we do get together.

9 of us from our graduating class.

Flood - Update

2008-06-13T14:01:00.004-05:00

As I was writing my last post on Wed. evening, the rain was starting. It must have rained most of the night because on Thursday morning when we got up our basement was seriously soggy. It'll probably take us a week to get it all dry - I think this is the wettest we've had it. We use towels, our steam vacuum, a dehumidifier, fans, and lots and lots of time and effort. I will be jumping for joy when Lowe's calls to tell us that these window wells are in.

Thursday morning Narasimha didn't go into work because he thought the road might close. By noon it still hadn't, so he went for Thursday afternoon. All afternoon we were hearing that our road might close, and the water kept creeping up. He finally did make it home ok yesterday evening but he said the water was partially covering the road and people were just driving through it.

This morning he found out right before he left for work that the road was closed. He had to take an alternate route. Luckily a road that wasn't open on Monday night when he had to take that huge detour now is, so it took him less than an hour to get there (he was late). The bummer is that he is actually On Call this weekend, and has to be able to get to the hospital within about 20 mins of getting called, so unless that road opens up today he will have to sleep at the hospital tonight :(. I tried to go into town so I could have lunch with him, and the road was still closed, and actually more flooded than it was on Monday evening.

If you're following the news at all, they are saying that many big rivers in Iowa are at or above record flood levels, and have still not crested. They are also predicting more rain over the weekend I think. Many of Iowa's bigger cities are under water or close to it.

I have a baby shower and a wedding tomorrow - we'll see if I can make it.

Flood!!!

2008-06-11T21:17:00.002-05:00

We live in Iowa, and as you may have read or heard in the news lately, just about the whole state, and much of the Midwest, is dealing with a little (or a lot of) extra water right now.

Our basement has been flooding, but actually not as a result of all this recent flooding that has been going on. We found out that it always has, and that the guy who sold us the house basically lied and said that he fixed the problem, when really he didn't. He did do some work on the house to take care of the problem which he told us about during the sale, but we now know that he didn't find out what the actual problem was before he "fixed" it, so of course it didn't work. And, our neighbor across the street told us that he did know that it wasn't in fact taken care of, because he had problems with it even after the "fix." Basically, when the house was built, the builder didn't attach the basement windows correctly to the house, and seal them, so if water gets to that seam of foundation and window, it just comes right in. Add to that the fact that the window wells were also not made in a water-tight fashion, and basically any time it rains enough to saturate the ground around the window wells, we get water into the house around the windows, down behind the finished walls, and finally soaking up through the carpet/sheetrock. So we have been having water since about the thaw in March on and off, although obviously with all this rain it has been a lot worse lately. We have ordered new window wells, and when installed correctly with the seams filled in, we hope that the problem will be taken care of. We currently have a very classy-looking (kidding of course) tarp tent over the window that leaks the worst, which has actually helped a lot, while we wait for our ordered items.

But, back to the flooding. During the last week our area has had a LOT of rain. Several inches, sometimes in a few hours. Day after day after day it seems like. So on Sunday we were at church, and a guy there said that during the flood of '93 one road managed to always stay open, even in the worst of it, and that road happens to be the road we take into town when we go. Then it rained a lot on Sunday and again on Monday. We live about 5 miles/8 minutes from Narasimha's office. He tried to come home after work on Monday, and our "sure thing" route was flooded over. Yikes. So basically, he had to go way over west and up north and around, and 80 miles and over 2 hours on mostly soggy gravel roads later, he was finally home. We live just a few miles north of M-town, and between our house and town is a river, and a lot of low-lying ground. And, only a few roads that go into town. So we got blocked off. Our road was still closed Tuesday morning, so he didn't even try to go into work. He didn't think he'd be able to go today, but they opened the road right before 8:00 AM, so he headed in. It rained a fair amount today around here, but the road managed to stay clear. Now we are projected to get more rain tonight and tomorrow so he has said he won't go in tomorrow morning, and we'll see where we are by tomorrow afternoon. The problem isn't always just getting in - you have to have some way to get back home too.

So, that's our flood experience so far. We wouldn't have water in the basement if things had been done correctly, so hopefully in a few weeks when our special-order window wells come in we can put this problem behind us once and for all. People have asked if we have a sump pump - we do and it works just fine - it's below our bedroom and I have been hearing it go off regularly. The water doesn't even get close to the top of the pit.

Thanks for those who have asked how we're holding up in our saturated corner. We're still here and still afloat and probably at this point doing better than many who have more water in their basements than we do :) And, Narasimha can't complain - he's gotten a little extra time off work ;)

Hotel Rwanda

2008-06-09T11:15:00.001-05:00

Narasimha's employer gives a day off for employee's birthdays. I think you can take it anytime you want, but Narasimha actually took his on Friday since his boards were on Thursday so we haven't spent any real time together for a while, and his birthday was on Saturday. It was nice to have an extra day off - we didn't do much of anything. We did rent a few movies and watched in the evenings this weekend. One of them was Hotel Rwanda.

Hotel Rwanda is a movie that tells the story of a Hutu man, and his Tootsie wife and community of friends, and their mixed children, as they all try to survive the genocide of the Tootsies by the Hutus in Rwanda in 1994. The actual movie I think was done pretty tastefully. There wasn't a whole lot of swearing, and we don't even have a special DVD player. The actual blood-and-guts gore was kept to a minimum, but you do see a fair amount of violence, and lots and lots of dead bodies. I have heard before of the conflict in Rwanda between the Hutus and the Tootsies. I remember being in about Junior High when all this was happening, and they covered it a little on the news show the school made us watch every day in third hour. I do not remember, however, the extreme devastation in hearing about this ever before. The movie showed how massive the killing was, and as sad as that is, add to it how the rest of the world stood by and offered almost no support/relief. The victims kept waiting for the UN, and the US, and no one came. The movie just broke my heart to watch - honestly, I am rarely a "cry-er." There were a few times in this movie that I couldn't help it.

Then that got me thinking - how many times in history have there been "genocide" based alone on some physical feature, or some way that one group of people is different from another (not better, just different). In this movie they said one time that the way they tell the difference between the Hutus and Tootsies is by how wide their nose is. And in the Holocaust, people were practically distinguished by having brown hair and eyes, as opposed to blonde and blue. Think of all the places around the world that massive groups of people have been killed without good reason, or something like the supposed guilt of their ancestors, or even accidentally choosing to live on the "wrong" plot of land. Russia, Germany and Poland, Scotland, the United States even, Rwanda, many many African nations, Afghanistan, China and Tibet, right now in Darfur, Lebanon, Israel. That's not nearly all of them. This problem spans the globe far and wide, from our own back yard to every continent, to many many countries, to millions and million of individual lives around the world.

Even when we know of these things, what do we do? What can we do? So obviously most of us can't just pack our weapon of choice in our suitcase and fly over and fight with the good guy. But politically, can we lean on our government a little to take action and try to stop the fighting? Protect those who have no protection? There was another part of the movie where there was a reporter from a western nation. He went out and video taped the vast devastation, and a woman who was being hunted was saying yeah, send that video back to your country - that will get people caring about what is happening here. And the videographer said unfortunately no, they will see it, and think oh, that's too bad, and then they will go on eating their dinner.

I know from our safe living rooms thousands of miles away, with the smallest of small threat of being shot or killed out of hatred tonight, it is hard for us to get involved. It's hard even to know what's going on with whatever filtered TV news we have available. I guess just watching this movie made me want to do all I can - even if that's not much. I will do research on the internet to find out what's really going on (but not believe everything I read). I will watch different news stations to get the most information, keeping in mind all news is likely skewed or tainted or biased. I will watch International news stations (BBC, etc.) to see if what I'm getting from the American stations is painting a comprehensive picture. In the upcoming elections, I will find out which of the candidates are willing to talk about human rights in other countries, and who desires to keep the best International relations (generally the Dems). When deciding who to support with dollars given to charity, I will research organizations that help people in these grim situations. And last but hardly least, I will pray for those in suffering today. That someone will reach out to them with love, a helping hand, and most of all, the name of Jesus Christ in their moment of suffering and need.

I started thinking, what if someone in our community today picked some random physical/personal attribute that was somehow deemed "superior" and then decided to kill everyone who was different. What if the difference was blue vs. brown eyes, big vs. small feet, the ability to do complex math equations in one's head, or even preference of eating dessert before or after a meal. I know I am being a little facetious. But there are people in our world who have lost their lives for far less. Who would I lose - family, friends, me? Something to think about...

Happy Birthday Narasimha!

2008-06-07T23:41:00.002-05:00

Today was Narasimha's birthday. We didn't do a whole lot but I just wanted to acknowledge and say Happy Birthday - I'm not too good at planning stuff I guess. We are thinking about having some people over in a few weeks to celebrate. He probably wouldn't want me to divulge his secret, so if you want to know how old he is, you'll have to get it out of him :)

Golden Opportunity

2008-06-06T11:08:00.004-05:00

My brother-in-law (Narasimha's older brother) is an Internal Medicine physician in India. He is a great guy - easy to get along with, kind, loving, funny, and one of the smartest guys you'll ever meet. Unfortunately, in the last few months he has had some bad life situations, and is looking for a place to escape for a while and enjoy himself, all the while giving his time to help others in need. Sort of a change of pace.

He came across an organization that places volunteer doctors in underserved areas for a time, and he is considering going toward the Himalayas, in Northern India, to volunteer some of his time for a few weeks to serve this organization and the local people of the region. While he is there he will be able to enjoy the scenery, escape the heat of the Hyderabad hot season, and have some time to reflect on all that is going on in his personal life.

But, there are still details to be worked out before he will be able to commit to going. Please pray that the details would work out quickly and smoothly, and that he will soon be on his way to North India.

Check out the place: http://www.aarohi.org/. I haven't been able to get it to load yet because of our slow internet, but he tells me the pictures are magnificent.

It's Over (FINALLY)!

2008-06-04T10:11:00.005-05:00

I just read that Obama finally received the Democratic nomination. I actually don't care who won, and I have nothing at all to do with the Democratic Party (or Republican Party for that matter - I'm "Independent"), but I am getting tired of hearing Obama and Clinton "sling mud" at each other all the time.

I think Obama is a pretty decent guy (not politically, I don't know what I think about that yet - just personally), and actually I much prefer him to the Clinton family drama. Now I will have to do my research by November.

Now I just hope that the race between McCain and Obama is clean - I think everyone gets tired of all the adds, etc. But it seems a lot easier to take when they just talk about their own positive attributes instead of relentlessly bashing the other guy all the time. Keep it clean people, keep it clean.

Test Tomorrow

2008-06-04T09:53:00.003-05:00

Narasimha takes his Psychiatry Boards tomorrow. He has been studying for a while now (I'll be happy when this is over to reclaim our evenings together). We won't know for a while how he did - for a computerized test it sure takes a long time to "grade." And, Psych Boards are a multi-test process, so he won't even be done when this is over. Then he has to start studying for the oral exam. And, for the rest of his career, he will have to do re-cert boards every 10 years (in both Psych and Internal Medicine - which he passed last fall sometime).

He doesn't need to take these to practice as a Psychiatrist - he has actually been practicing since we moved here last July. Before you pass they call you "board eligible" - once he passes he will be "board certified." Basically I think the only thing that changes is that more insurance companies will allow their people to see you. He was board eligible (and able to see patients on his own) when he graduated residency last June.

So please pray for him tomorrow - that he will be well-rested and able to recall the information he's studied. It's an 8-hour test, all on the computer, so also that he would have a good attention span. I hope to be posting the good news that he's passed in the next few months :)

Road Race

2008-05-31T19:33:00.005-05:00

Today we ran a road race. I have not run in a race in a long time, and today was actually Narasimha's first race ever. We did pretty well - right about what we wanted to do for time. We train together, so we stayed together for the race. We finished within a few seconds of each other. It was a 20K(ilometer), which is 12.4 miles. It took us right at 1 hour 45 minutes (the official time is longer because that starts with the gun, and it took us about 90 seconds to reach the start line, and I didn't start my watch until we stepped on the start line). My mom and several friends ran too. The weather was beautiful, and not a whole lot of wind. Although we're both feeling a little slow and sore tonight, we had a good time today with our road race.

My dad rode along the course on his bike and took a few pics for us - Narasimha and I are the ones waving :)

Here we ran with my mom for a while (we are the 3rd, 4th, and 5th ones from the left).

DONE!!! Sore, sweaty and tired, but still smiling :)

A Season Complete

2008-05-29T10:22:00.003-05:00

Yesterday I had "my girls" over for a pizza party to celebrate our season. Our season actually ended a few months ago, but we didn't get around to the party for a while. It was a lot of fun - we had pizza and ice cream sundaes, and played games and chatted. I gave (or will give, when they are finished) each girl an 8x10 paper I am scrapbooking with a personal note and a pic of the team. I asked each of them their favorite color, and will use a background paper in the color they chose. All but one of the eight girls could come, and we had a good time together before some of them leave for the summer, and then some next year will leave for college. We had 3 seniors on the team this year, who we will miss next year. I am hoping to have enough girls to make a team. Thanks to those who made it possible for me to coach my first season - it was a great learning experience and a whole lot of fun.

It Can't Get Any Worse But It Does

2008-05-28T13:38:00.004-05:00

I recently happened upon an article on CNN.com about the sexual abuse of children by aide workers in other countries. I am saddened and even sickened to read of these atrocities.

I wish I could say "I can't believe this is happening to these children who have already suffered so much" but the truth is, I can believe it. People, even those in positions of authority and/or assistance (or maybe more so in these positions), are sinful and prideful and wicked to the core. I am too, but with the help of Jesus Christ working in my life every day I strive to be different - be better.

Read this article if you think you can stomach it without your heart breaking (of course, maybe that's what we need to stand up against such things - knowledge and heartache and anger). And, say a prayer today for these hurting little people who seem to be taking attacks from every front - even the "safe" ones.

Memorial Day - We Remember

2008-05-26T16:07:00.003-05:00

Today we remember our family and friends who are no longer with us.

I, as always, was asked to play Taps on my trumpet for ceremonies around the Des Moines area. We normally do services at 2 cemeteries and the WWII Monument in downtown Des Moines, and today we also did a short ceremony at a retirement home outside Des Moines.

I really appreciate the opportunity to be able to do this. I think I have done services every Memorial Day and Veteran's Day for about 12 years now (since high school). It is a simple way for me to serve others, and more important to me, it has taught me so much about our nation's history, and the price many have paid for my personal freedom. I have an appreciation for our military (especially World War era) that I doubt I would without having gone to so many of these ceremonies and hearing the speeches and stories from these brave men and women.

To me, Memorial Day is so much more than a day off work and BBQ-ing with family and friends, and I am so grateful for the opportunity to be able to say that year after year.

Taps, at one of the cemeteries

The "Freedom Flames" at the WWII Monument in downtown Des Moines. The Memorial Day ceremony is held here every year.

Taps, at the WWII Memorial (after the 21-gun salute).

Congrats Grads!

2008-05-24T21:36:00.004-05:00

My "baby" brother graduated high school today. He will be following my footsteps and going to Iowa this fall (making me proud :).

Narasimha and me (front with brown hair) and my 2 sisters, with my brother the graduate.

Also, 3 of the girls from the volleyball team I coached this last winter graduated high school as well this weekend.

It was fun to spend time with family and friends this weekend, and to even see lots of family (aunts and uncles mostly) that we don't get to see very often.

Congrats to all who have graduated, and best wishes to you as you start whatever that next step is!

In Memory of Maria Sue Chapman

2008-05-23T21:50:00.003-05:00

As you may have heard in the news, Christian singer Steven Curtis Chapman's youngest daughter, 5-year-old Maria Sue (who was adopted from China) has been killed in an accident in the family's driveway near Nashville, TN. I can't imagine the pain the family must be feeling.

The Chapmans have established (before this tragedy occurred) an organization called Shaohannah's Hope which helps families fund adoptions, among other things. They are vocal advocates of adoption, and have adopted 3 girls from China (Maria and 2 older sisters), and before adopting they had 3 biological children.

They would like gifts in memory of Maria Sue to be directed to this charity (and can be in her name) to help other families around the country bring children into their homes who would otherwise grow up in orphanages.

If you are looking for a cause to support, certainly check out Shaohannah's Hope today.

One Minute Each Night

2008-05-20T07:29:00.007-05:00

I have recently received this email a few times, and though I generally don't like to forward mass emails, I think the idea of this one has something to it. Rather than re-saying myself what I received, I will just paste what came in on my email.

"ONE MINUTE EACH NIGHT

Received from a friend and it is true, this is the scariest election we as Christians have ever faced and from the looks of the polls, the Christians aren't voting Christian values. We all need to be on our knees.

Do you believe we can take God at His word? Call upon His name, and then stand back and watch His wonders to behold. This scripture gives us, as Christians, ownership of this land and the ability to call upon God to heal it. I challenge you to do so. We have never been more desperate than now for God to heal our land. This election is the scariest I remember in my lifetime.

2 Chronicles 7:14 “If my people, which are called by my name, shall humble themselves, and pray, and seek my face and turn from their wicked ways, then will I hear from heaven, and will forgive their sin, and will heal their land.”

During WWII, there was an advisor to Churchill who organized a group of people who dropped what they were doing every night at a prescribed hour for one minute to collectively pray for the safety of England, its people and peace.

This had an amazing effect as bombing stopped. There is now a group of people organizing the same thing here in America. The United States of America and our citizens need prayer more than ever !!!

If you would like to participate: each evening at 9:00 PM Eastern Time (8:00 PM Central, 7:00 PM Mountain, 6:00 PM Pacific), stop whatever you are doing and spend one minute praying for the safety of the United States, our troops, our citizens, for peace in the world, the up-coming election, that the Bible will remain the basis for the laws governing our land and that Christianity will grow in the U.S.

If you know anyone who would like to participate, please pass this along.

Someone said if people really understood the full extent of the power we have available through prayer, we might be speechless. Our prayers are the most powerful asset we have.
Thank You. Please pass this on to anyone who you think will want to join us.

God Bless You!!!"

Now, I'm not sure about the history, but that doesn't seem to matter much. I know that prayer is powerful, and I think we as Christians do have some real concerns as we look to the future of our country/society/etc.

I also think the 8:00 thing is really of minimal importance. Yes, the idea might help some remember, but I think just remembering is actually the most important part. I personally just want to encourage those who read this to remember to pray for those things listed above - our country, our election, our faith in this country. These things are eternally important, and unfortunately, sometimes it feels like we as Christians are loosing ground on a slippery slope.

So today, from one follower of Jesus Christ to the next, lets encourage each other to pray: for our country to maintain some moral code, for the upcoming election, for our military, for our enemies here and abroad, and for all of us to unite as one universal church and demand that our faith and beliefs be heard in a seemingly deaf world (of course among many many other things).

Post a comment if you have something else we should be praying for - and as a Christian, please remember to take prayerful action today.

Happy Mother's Day!!!

2008-05-11T21:12:00.004-05:00

I'm back - after somewhat of a blogging dry spell. It wasn't really intentional, but a combination of being busy around the house, and not a whole lot going on that I felt worthy of writing about.

So first off, Happy Mother's Day!!! To all the moms out there of course, but a few specifically on my heart today are: the mothers in my life (my mom, mother-in-law, grandmas), those mothers celebrating their first Mother's Day as mommies, and especially those who waited for any length of time to be able to celebrate Mother's Day as a mommy (Loraena, thinking of you), and finally, a group of women dear to my own heart - those of us who want to be mommies with all that we are, but for any number of reasons aren't able to be at this time.

For those of us in waiting: if it is meant to be, it will happen when the time is right - of that I am sure.

I don't think I was as "bummed" today as I was a year ago with this same occasion. Read about last year's Mother's Day response here (skip the first 6 or so paragraphs of the post to get to the point). This is probably a combination of factors: more time passed getting used to the "wait," and hope for the future - by next year I certainly hope to either have a child by adoption or maybe even biology, or to know of one on the way. I guess I don't have a lot to say (quite contrary to last year and the link above) - I am in a phase of waiting, and I am doing what I can to be proactive with the situation and working on being "ok" with all of what that entails, and that's really all I can do at this point.

Plus, we had visitors last night, which was super duper fun :) Friends from our old town/church came to spend the night on their way through town. It was so much fun to talk and reconnect. I feel like we haven't even missed a beat with them. And actually, we found out on Monday (a week ago) that they are expecting their first child in December, so in a way, we got to spend their first Mother's Day with them. And, it was also Erin's birthday today, so that was fun too - all sorts of celebrations! We weren't as good of hosts as I would have liked - the guest bedroom is the one with the flooding so they had to sleep in the family room, but they seemed to have a good time anyways :)

And finally, we and our doggies get the pleasure of their dog Muffin's company for half of the week as they are on vacation in Minneapolis - they are picking her up on the way back through town on Wednesday. She's used to things being a little different than they are here I think, being accustomed to a 1-dog house, but is getting along just fine for now :)

Opportunity Knocking

2008-04-23T12:15:00.000-05:00

One morning recently (yesterday or the day before - can't remember), I was sitting and working on my computer in my living room, when someone rang the doorbell. I got up to go get what I thought was the wallpaper border for the bathroom that I ordered being delivered from UPS. When I got to the door, I was surprised to see a woman in a dress standing there. I opened, and she started talking about the nice weather, blah blah blah. Then she said something about how she was sure I had my own faith, as lots in the neighborhood do. I said yes, that's right, and I am a little ashamed to say that I was a little annoyed with her at this point. I thought about just shutting the door and getting back to my computer. She opened a Bible, and read John 3:16 (in some version I am not familiar with). Then she went on to say some things I kind-of ignored, and asked me if I'd take some reading material from her church or whatever, and on the top of the pamphlet it said "The Watchtower." I took it, and after 5 or so minutes of trying to patiently tolerate her, and not look too annoyed, I came back inside.

But then I started thinking - was I in too much of a rush to do something that wasn't really that important on my computer to talk to her and possibly present her with what I know to be true from the Bible? I flipped through the pamphlet, and in mere seconds I found some seriously shaky-looking doctrine in the papers she gave me. So yes, I reacted poorly to someone God practically put on my lap, and did not take good advantage of the opportunity that actually knocked on my door. So, I have decided (prayerfully) that I am going to read those pamphlets, and if and when she comes back, I will be ready to drop whatever it is I'm doing to have her in for coffee and conversation.

I believe that we as Christians should know a reasonable amount of information/doctrine from other beliefs. Not to the point of taking time away from studying what/how we should from the Word of God in our own study. But, from an evangelical standpoint, we know we are to witness to others, and I think part of effective "soul winning" takes place when you can take what someone believes to be true (and isn't) and refuting it with actual Biblical truths. I didn't do my best for God this time, but by His grace alone, next time I will.

"It"

2008-04-21T11:53:00.003-05:00

As we continue on our adoption path, we will not know, likely for many months, the gender (or age, for that matter) of our future child. And, even when we do find out these things, we won't be sharing what we know until the child is officially ours when we arrive in India for the adoption. The biggest reason for not sharing is basically that we don't want to get too attached until we know for sure. So when we get there, and have Baby in our arms, we will be posting the stats and pictures likely on this site and via email, etc.

The reason for this post is to actually clarify how I will refer to Baby until he or she has a name. There are lots of people who will not call their child "It" - I personally don't have a problem with this practice. Sure, you could say "he or she" every time you talk about "him or her" but that's a lot of extra letters. I do not think of "It" as a genderless child, or sub-human, or anything like that (those are arguments I have heard against using the word "It"). My child is a unique and special and wonderful little person, created by God just for our family, and until we know specifically who he or she is, we will be referring to this little person as "It" - for no other reason than convenience and ease of communication. I think if I were pregnant, or we knew the age of the child we'd be getting, I would probably be inclined to call "It" "Baby" or "Kiddo" or whatever, but since we don't even know that, in this case, "It" seems like the best choice.

Lazy Saturday

2008-04-12T14:26:00.003-05:00

Today I am home alone. Narasimha is putting in some extra hours in a neighboring town, so he's working all day today, which means I'm at home alone on this dreary and snowy day. There was a "dusting" of snow on houses this morning when we got up, but still no major accumulation (thank goodness - it's APRIL!). Of course I have my 3 pooches keeping me company, and right now they are reflecting the weather outside and are asleep on my lap (Bella) or at my feet (the boys). One exciting thing for us today is that we sold the car that Narasimha has been driving to work (a "junker") and so he will start driving full time the truck we inherited from my parents. This is either a good town to sell junk cars, or we priced too low - we sold the car after having a sign in the window for only 3 days :) We decided that if Narasimha would voluntarily work more Saturdays, it would be better to get that out of the way before we had children, so we could have more family time then. So, I am getting caught up on some things around home, and am seriously considering joining my dogs and their perpetual nap on the floor. Narasimha will be home in a few hours, and then maybe we'll get some sort of a life (or maybe not) but for right now it's just a lazy day.

Therapy Dog

2008-04-10T12:26:00.003-05:00

Yesterday I went to volunteer orientation at Narasimha's hospital. There are lots of things that look like fun, and I will probably sign up for shifts in a few of them. One of the things that caught my eye as the most unique/fun is the Pet Therapy. I didn't grow up with dogs inside, but now Narasimha and I have 3 inside dogs, and I wouldn't give them up for the world. I just love having them around. And, I have to say, I think that my dogs are some of the sweetest dogs a person could ask for. Especially the two big dogs. They are litter-mates, so they have never really been apart. But their temperament is just the greatest - they are so friendly, and they really honestly want nothing more than to please us. Their breed (Hungarian Pointer, or Vizsla) is by nature very very hyper, but they are great with kids, and are so friendly and gentle, and I just couldn't say enough good things about them. So when I saw that the hospital has a Pet Therapy program, I can't help but think that my dogs would be perfect for it. They will need a fair amount of training, and they have to pass a few tests (on training) and then obviously be well-groomed and current on shots and stuff (which they are anyways). After all that they can go to the hospital and share their love with sick people there. I think the next testing is offered in November in Des Moines, so I am going to start working with them. I will work harder with one of them (Taj) for now, because at this point he is slightly more calm and predictable than his brother (Topper). I also want to work with the little dog (Bella, who is a "Morkie" - half Yorkie, half Maltese), but she is younger so I don't know that she's ready for this kind of a thing yet. I am really excited, and think that this could be a great experience and a lot of fun!

The Adoption Update...

2008-04-05T00:10:00.003-05:00

is, very uninterestingly, that there still isn't any update to report. We are still plugging away at our paperwork (slowly). We are still talking about hiring a lawyer, and the details of that. We have, however, had some fun recently shopping for kid's clothes. Since we don't know the age or gender of our child, we get to have extra fun and buy anything we like :) We have kept the purchases to "3T" and younger (for those who don't know, that means clothes that are supposed to fit 3-year-old "toddlers"). Our push to shop recently, by the way, is that there have been some good seasonal sales, and I have some fear that when this process gets moving, it will get really moving, and I would like to have whatever head start I can. Other than that, no news. I felt the need to update since one of the purposes of this blog is to keep family and friends in the loop as to what is going on with our adoption... The next time I post regarding the adoption, I will have something more interesting to say than "nothing" - I promise! Thanks for those who have sent well-wishes and who are thinking about us and praying for us during this time - it really means a lot and has been very encouraging!

Christ the Lord is Risen Today!

2008-03-24T16:32:00.003-05:00

Yesterday was the day that we set aside time to specifically remember Christ's resurrection from the grave. What an exciting thought! Something that really stuck out at me from the service we attended yesterday was that Christ chose to go to the cross. He wasn't manipulated or tricked, and was in fact all-knowing, so when He made His way toward Jerusalem, He knew that what was ahead of Him would not be pleasant for Him, but was absolutely necessary and was actually the whole reason He came to live among us here on earth in the first place. He knew what He had to do - what His calling was from God the Father, and he willingly and wholeheartedly went to the place where He knew beyond a shadow of a doubt what awaited Him there. It certainly was an act of selfless and unadulterated love for us that He was willing to do what He did, and suffer as He did as a result of no fault of His own. I love to celebrate and meditate on the love of Jesus Christ, directed toward me, during the very special Easter holiday.

Another reason yesterday was so great was that we actually attended church at our old church in I-town. We still miss everyone there a lot, and just love it when we are able to see all of them. We got to chat with some of our "forever" friends, and see all the kids shooting up like weeds. It has been several months since we have seen many of them.

May I encourage you that if you don't know what I'm talking about above - you can't get excited about Easter because you don't understand what's the big deal, please contact me at the email address listed at the very bottom of the page. I would love to share with you my excitement and thankfulness for this special day, and all it means to me as a free and priceless gift from my Lord and Savior Jesus Christ.

And, I hope that no matter what you did yesterday (and Friday) to remember and celebrate what Jesus did for you, it was meaningful and enjoyable for you and your family and friends.

Over Too Soon

2008-03-22T19:46:00.005-05:00

We are now home from our vacation in Florida, and I can honestly say that it went too fast (as always). For the better part of the week we: took our time, got up when we wanted, were beach bums, hung out with the fam, etc. Most of the time we basically stayed on the beach (besides Tuesday at Sea World for Narasimha and me). This week was super windy it seemed like, so that made it feel a little chillier, but still, I can't complain when my standard for comparison is Iowa winter (and a relatively bad one at that). Dad has a surfboard, and he and my brother tried that out a few times. A few years ago we bought a skim board, which has been a lot of fun (this year we had to buy a new one because we broke the other one). Basically to use a skim board, you wait for the very shallow water that results when the tide comes in on the beach and goes back out to sea, and then you throw the board on that ¼ inch or so deep water, and then chase the board and jump on. It's a lot tougher than it sounds - you have to get your feet on perfectly, throw it down onto the water consistently, then keep your center of gravity just right, and adjust your balance for differences in water movement and depth. Even then sometimes you wipe out, which is pretty funny to watch but it can hurt a bit (or a lot) to fall hard on wet sand (think sand paper or rough concrete). The first year we had the board we all went home with scrapes and bruises - now we are much more tentative and careful, and some of us are maybe even a little better at using it :) On the beach we also like to boogie board, play volleyball, throw the football, kick the soccer ball, play frisbee, go for (sometimes long) walks, and lay out in the sun to tan and sleep or read. You get the point - a whole lot of nothing much :)

The beach from the balcony of our condo, and one b-e-a-utiful day :)

Our beach camp from the balcony on our condo - my mom and sisters are on the lawn chairs on the left side, and my dad and brother are the ones in the shallow water (skim boarding).

My mom, 2 sisters and me, laying out.

My dad, getting his surf on :)

My dad showing off his groovy board

Narasimha and my brother playing soccer on the beach.

Narasimha on the skim board - I don't even think he fell once (he must not have been trying hard enough :)

Me, getting ready...

Me - pretty sure I "biffed it" on that one.

My sister, being the graceful lady she is :) My dad says you get extra points if your knees go down, and even more if there's blood for your effort :) I don't think she got either of those on this one.

Narasimha and me, our last 5 minutes on the beach in '08

Sea World

2008-03-20T22:12:00.002-05:00

We decided to go to Sea World on Tuesday, and we had a lot of fun. We "did" Disney a few years ago when we were here, and of course that was a good time, but we felt that Sea World had more for the adult audience. Basically I felt like the drawing force of Sea World was the shows, and then there were 2 roller coasters (and a few others that were kid-friendly) and some animal observation things to do. We ended up going to 5 of the shows - 2 in the whale (Shamu) pool, one in the dolphin pool, one on a stage with human acrobats, and then one in the open air where 3 guys played pots and pans like a drumline. They were all pretty cool - I would watch any of them again happily. We also didn't get to see a few others that sounded cool on the program we had because we ran out of time. I felt like the whole park was also do-able in one day - quite unlike Disney with all the lines and everything. So, I would definitely go back - especially if we didn't have kids, or had very small kids that couldn't really do rides very well. There was lots to do besides the rides. All things considered it was a nice and relaxing vacation day.

The dolphin show - look carefully to see the dolphin in the air. I was surprised to see how high they could jump!

One of the trainers doing "Superman" with the dolphin - look under the water through the glass in the middle of the picture.

I don't know how big I thought dolphins were (next to humans) but this one looked pretty big to me.

Shamu doing his opening lap with jumps during the "Believe" show.

I bet the trainers get pretty close to these animals - that would be amazing to be up close and personal like that.

Wow...

Showing off :)

Surfing on the whale - quite a ride I'm sure.

The trainer goes under the water with the whale, and you can't really see them, and then all of the sudden they shoot out of the water together like it's no big deal.

The same idea as the picture above, but the whale goes faster and the trainer is actually thrown up farther than the whale, and in this picture you can see the black circle above the whale's nose is the trainer beginning his dive back into the water, after being thrown up - very cool.

The first part of the acrobat show - these girls stayed in that shell and did several acrobatic tricks together.

Meeting Jesus Face to Face

2008-03-17T21:46:00.005-05:00

Today my Great-Grandma got to meet Jesus face to face. I am sorry for those of us who will miss her here, but so happy for her as she gets to start her eternity free of all of the problems we all experience while here on earth. She lived a long and good life, and in heaven she joins her husband who died many years ago, and 2 daughters she lost in infancy/childhood, along with a whole bunch of other family and friends. In the last few years her health has started to suffer, and lately she hasn't had much independence, and I can't help but picture her tonight sitting next to Jesus, free of pain and suffering from now until forever, and more free and happier than she ever was during her time walking on this earth. She was loved and cherished here on earth, and will continue to be, but Grandma is finally "home."

Sunny Florida :)

2008-03-16T20:17:00.004-05:00

Narasimha and I came with my family this week to Florida - it has become an annual tradition. This year it's just us and my immediate family. We're staying in a condo in Daytona Beach, and we have only been here for 1 day, but it's NICE! Today was sunny and about 75 - much much improved to what we had in Iowa when we took off on Friday (although even there we're on the up-swing I think). The same people who stayed at our house with our pets when we were India for 3 weeks are there again for this week, which is nice not to have to think about what's going on there. We have plans basically to do a whole lot of nothing. The weather is supposed to be nice all week my dad said. Narasimha and I are considering going to Sea World sometime - we're not sure yet. Probably won't do much for posting 'til we get back to Iowa and back in the swing of things. Might post some pics later in the week when we have something fun to show.

4 Years Together

2008-03-08T22:16:00.002-06:00

Last week Narasimha and I celebrated our 4th wedding anniversary - exciting :) N got off work early, so we went shopping, and then to a restaurant called Rock Bottom which is in Des Moines. The food was good, and fun to reflect on the time we've had together (actually we talked about something a little unorthodox for such an occasion - maybe I'll post it someday). It's been a lot of fun, and always a learning experience. Of course it hasn't always been rosy - no relationship is - but it's fun to look back and see the different ways that God has shown us over the years that yes, this is the way our lives were supposed to turn out. I can't even believe some of the times I have looked at us, or a certain situation, and thought wow, this sure is something special. Sometimes people ask us if we have a hard time with our differences (the obvious big ones, like being raised in separate cultures and countries, and with different religions, etc.). Very uninterestingly, the answer is no. Those "big" differences cause almost no (if none at all) friction between us - when we fight it's about the mundane or dumb little things, probably much like the rest of you American-only couples. I am so thankful for my husband, and for our family that God will someday give us, and all the many blessings I have in both of these. I wanted to share the words of one of the songs that was sung at our wedding (made popular on the radio by Steven Curtis Chapman) - the words are so true, and every passing day and year I have our future to look more and more forward to.

I Will Be Here
Tomorrow morning if you wake up
And the sun does not appear
I will be here
If in the dark, we lose sight of love
Hold my hand, and have no fear
'Cause I will be here

I will be here
When you feel like being quiet
When you need to speak your mind
I will listen
And I will be here
When the laughter turns to cryin'
Through the winning, losing and trying
We'll be together
And I will be here

Tomorrow morning if you wake up
And the future is unclear
I will be here
Just as sure as seasons were made for change
Our lifetimes were made for these years
So I will be here

I will be here
And you can cry on my shoulder
When the mirror tells us we're older
I will hold you
And I will be here
To watch you grow in beauty
And tell you all the things you mean to me
I will be here

I will be true to the promise that I have made
To you and to the One who gave you to me

Tomorrow morning if you wake up
And the sun does not appear
I, I will be here
We'll be together
And I will be here

Why Not IVF?

2008-02-28T10:02:00.006-06:00

I am writing this post in response to some things that have been said to us, and also to explain why we are going almost against probably what most of the general public would do who has a similar situation with infertility and the financial means to consider fertility assistance - and definitely the field of medicine - in choosing how to expand our family, in light of our struggle with infertility, and the specific diagnosis of infertility that we have (meaning that we could likely "benefit" from fertility assistance). Also, read on if you don't know a whole lot about different measures of fertility assistance - I won't go into great detail here, but I will include links so you can read up on your own if you want.

We have heard the following comments or some sort of variation of them:

"Are you sure you don't want to try IVF - I know someone it worked for and..."

"Are you sure you aren't going to someday regret not ever trying harder to have your own child?"

"What will you do with your adopted child if you happen to get pregnant someday?"

"Are you sure you're not disappointing (Narasimha or Kristina) by not trying harder?" - asked to one of us about the other.

"Is this something your religion won't let you do?"

Yeah, I'm not kidding - people really say this stuff.

Western medicine has come a long way in helping people live longer and better lives, from transplants, to medical management, to things that aren't necessary but make people happy and "improve" lives (here I am thinking anything from liposuction to fertility assistance measures, etc.). With any perceived benefit, there is always a cost, whether it is physical, financial, or even moral.

Infertility is a somewhat flaky diagnosis, and is basically characterized by a couple who has tried to get pregnant for 1 year with no success. There is always more to it than that though - the real question is what is causing the infertility? Sometimes it is a physical problem that the man has, sometimes a physical problem that the woman has, and sometimes, both parties have problems that contribute. As you can imagine, there are many MANY things that could go wrong (or even just not quite right) with either the man or the woman making pregnancy unachievable. For a brief overview of infertility or a list of some of the most common causes of infertility, click here. Sometimes, there is nothing that can be found that is wrong with either person that would indicate why a couple is unable to conceive. Sometimes, conception is possible, but for whatever reason, the pregnancy is spontaneously (accidentally) terminated early and doesn't result in a live birth. The couple may or may not know there was ever even a pregnancy, depending on how and how early the pregnancy ended. My point here is that this subject is no simple matter.

We (one of us actually) were diagnosed with a physical problem very early in our effort to become pregnant. We looked at the facts regarding the treatment, and the risks and benefits, and decided that the affected person would have surgery to attempt to correct the problem. We decided that in our situation, we were ok with fixing our bodies to see if that would make us able to spontaneously conceive without the help of actual "fertility assistance measures." The problem that was fixed was something that was physically painful before the surgery, and is a problem that people have fixed even if they aren't having problems conceiving as a result of it (it doesn't only cause problems in aspects of fertility). The surgery was likely successful, although we don't know how successful (read here and here for a little more on our specific situation). The surgery took place over a year ago, and to date we have still not been able to get pregnant.

So there's the problem. What can medicine do for us?

There are many options, ranging a lot in how physically invasive they are, how many "moral" issues are potentially attached, and how much they cost financially.

Here's a list of some of the things we could pursue (click on the word for detailed description or read my sort-of layman's description):

Medication-Induced Hyper-Ovulation
Sometimes the woman doesn't ovulate regularly, so they give medications to make her ovulate. Sometimes they give the medications to make her ovulate more, so that each month, instead of releasing one egg, she could release several, which would hypothetically increase the odds of fertilizing an egg and then having one implant. This also increases the chance of multiple embryo implantation. There would be no way to know how many embryos would possibly implant, but it could be very many. This is likely what happened when the woman from Carlisle, Iowa, had 7 babies at one time (septuplets). This may seem obvious, but any pregnancy with more than 1 baby has increased risk, and with each additional baby, the risk increase is exponential. This leads some to consider Selective Reduction. This means aborting some of the babies. The thought is that the ones who are left will have a better chance of survival and health. It is still abortion - still the killing of babies you supposedly worked so hard to make. This also can get more morally messy when the parents do genetic testing, or find out the gender of the babies, before they decide who to get rid of. Sometimes people choose to abort the babies with problems, or by gender, and sometimes it could be random, or where the baby is attached to the uterus, etc. This medication therapy when used alone is probably the cheapest fertility assistance a person could try. I guess it could also be considered "fixing one's body" if the woman isn't ovulating (under the precept used above for my justification of the surgery we were ok with doing). However, the risks are still there, even in the "fixing one's body" scenario, to have a multiple pregnancy, which could then lead to a moral decision.

Artificial Insemination (AI) or Intra-Uterine Insemination (IUI)
Sometimes used in combination with the Hyper-Ovulation medication (above) - sometimes not. This is often used as a first-line therapy, and is quite a bit financially cheaper, and less physically painful, than IVF which I will talk about next. This is where the doctors have some of the man's sperm, and they will often "wash" it to get the good ones out, and they put the good sperm directly into the woman's uterus. The timing with the woman's monthly cycle is precise, and it gets the sperm closer to where it needs to get to for the couple to become pregnant. There are still downfalls to the process. I would still consider the pregnancy to have been achieved in the doctor's office, but there is more left to nature, like the union of the sperm and the egg, and the embryo's growth, survival and implantation in the uterus.

In-Vitro Fertilization (IVF) with embryo transfer
This is a very complex process, and quite invasive and expensive. Not to mention often full of moral questions. This process starts with the woman giving herself daily injections to induce hyper-ovulation which can be timed very precisely. Kind-of the same as the medications listed above, but I think different in some aspects that I don't know. Then the woman has to go to the doctor's office and they put her to sleep and pull the eggs out of her ovaries with a long needle before they are released into the fallopian tubes. Then they take the man's sperm and mix the eggs and the sperm together, and hope that some of them will hook up and form embryos. This is in the lab - and where they get the term "test tube baby." Then they "grow" the embryos that result out for a few days, to see which ones survive. After that, they pick the healthiest one(s) (and they can even do genetic testing on these embryos to find problems/gender), and finally, they put these little week-or-so old embryos straight into the woman's uterus, where they will hopefully latch on and grow to be babies. This process, as it would seem, has moral issues everywhere. First, the doctors take from the woman as many eggs as they can, which could probably be anywhere from several to 30 or even sometimes 40+. Then, they basically try to fertilize all of them, and see what happens. It is feasible that half of those could fertilize, so now you have 25-20 embryos (early stage babies). Now it is likely that some of them will die in the growing out process, and often they have to freeze them to wait for the right time in the woman's cycle to transfer to the uterus, and some will probably die then or in the unfreezing process too. But say somehow after growing and freezing/thawing you still have 10 viable embryos (which is potentially very realistic and possible, and could be more or less depending on each situation). The doctors won't put any more than 2-3 in at a time, and then you could still end up with twins/triplets if they all latch on (we know or know of people who have had singles, twins, and triplets with this process). So even if you put 3 in, you still have 7 left from your 10. Now what to do with those leftover embryos? Well, you can keep having babies until yours are all used up (and then you have to pay for the freezer space in a lab to keep your frozen babies until you are ready for them) and potentially end up with lots and lots of kids. You could dump them in the trash can, which as far as I'm concerned is no better than abortion. You could adopt them out, which is becoming more popular and is called Snowflake Babies. Now sometimes you don't have so many embryos to think about - I know of a couple who by the time the growing out and unfreezing was finished, they had 2 (and only 2) very healthy embryos that they implanted and ended up having twins 9 months later (actually like 8 months because the babies were premature which is the most common complication of pregnancy with multiples). But, this extra embryo situation does happen often enough that you have to have a plan that you have to tell your doctors before they will even start the process of IVF with you.

Intracytoplasmic Sperm Implantation (ICSI) - See link for IVF
Even farther on the spectrum of IVF, and more expensive. This is when your sperm and eggs won't unite on their own for whatever reason when they mix them together in the test tube, so the doctors actually pick a single sperm and shove it into the egg to get the embryo.

Donors
People also have the option of using donors for almost any part of the process - anywhere from donor eggs, to donor sperm, to borrowed uterus (also called a surrogate). This can get very morally sticky, and in the case of using a surrogate, even legally sticky by means of custody, etc. The potential for problems and miscommunications are endless. Not to mention expensive and risky, based on your personal preferences as a parent.

There is so so so much more - this is hardly the tip of the iceberg. But hopefully it gives you an idea of the scope of what's possible, and what those who are interested in pursuing the options have to consider.

Now that we know the options, lets get personal - why not fertility assistance for us?

If my dramatic portrayal of the risks involved didn't indicate well enough how I feel, here it is: I don't think that the potential risks are worth the potential benefits. Said again: the things that could go wrong, and how much that would cost (physically, emotionally, financially, morally) do not outweigh the benefits in my mind.

Another reason: A fellow (Christian) blogger who also suffers from infertility said it this way (not a direct quote, but this is the gist of it): "I don't want to take something that is beautiful and natural and created by God (the act of making a baby) and turn it into a sterile lab procedure." I couldn't have said it better myself.

Another reason: Why does adoption have to be a last resort? "Oh, I tried EVERYTHING and nothing worked, so I guess we have to adopt to get a child." I don't want to look at my adopted child and think "We could have done better." I bet if you ask those who have adopted children, no matter their reason for the adoption, (a group I soon hope to be a part of) they would say that they love and own that child as much as anyone who physically births a baby. I will choose to take a proactive and positive approach to loving my child, no matter how God chooses to give him or her to me. Adoption is a special way of making people into a family, and in my mind is something to be embraced and celebrated. Love is a choice, not a feeling - ask anyone who is happily married. Although not a concept endorsed by our society, I firmly believe that the Bible teaches this.

Another reason: I have said this before, and will say it again. If God wants us to be pregnant, we will be. He doesn't need the help of medical professionals for us to add to our family. There is a child (or hopefully children) out there who God has intended for our family. Whether sitting in an orphanage in India, or in our bodies waiting to be conceived, or waiting to be conceived through someone else that we could someday adopt - I don't care who or where - if God allows the process, whatever it entails, for us to acquire children, then I will feel blessed and be thankful for it.

Another reason: Though these fertility assistance methods have been tested and improved upon over the years, there is certainly never a guarantee. Financially speaking, these can be anywhere from kind-of expensive to you-only-have-enough-money-to-do-this-once-and-even-then-you-just-drained-your-retirement-account expensive. And even then, you could end up with no baby. I have heard countless stories where people spend every dime they have, and put second mortgages on their houses, etc., and at the end of the day, they are still not mommies and daddies. I am much too cheap to take that kind of a risk. Also of note: people who choose to pursue these things get little or no help from insurance, so somehow have to come up with the funds for this on their own. In my mind, money spent here could just as well be invested for a future college tab, or a bunch of trips to India, or any number of other things.

If I haven't somehow answered the questions above yet, I will do so now.

"Are you sure you don't want to try IVF - I know someone it worked for and..."
IVF is an amazing thing, and I am sure it has made countless families very happy. I am happy for those who are happy because of it. I personally know people who have done this, and who it worked for, and they have the most precious and beautiful children as a result. It is still not something I am willing to do. To clarify: we are not saying our choice is right for everyone. At the end of the day, each person has to be able to accept decisions they have made. We all have different ways of looking at things.

"Are you sure you aren't going to someday regret not ever trying harder to have your own child?"
Two answers to this one. First, we aren't going to stop trying to have a biological baby. We will keep doing everything we can do - 2 people in the confines of a bedroom - to become pregnant. I still hope and pray that this will happen for us someday. If it doesn't, I will be thankful for whatever (whomever) God provides. And second, any adopted child we have is OUR child. As much as any biological child we may someday have.

"What will you do with your adopted child if you happen to get pregnant someday?"
Um, duh, love it, and care for it, and punish it, and teach it, and buy it stuff, and play with it, and make it mad, and make it happy, and let it make me mad, and let it make me happy, and laugh with it, and cry with it, and dream about it's future, and celebrate with it, and celebrate its part in our family, and hopefully one day lead it to Christ...I'm sure there's more. And, tell it to say that "At least Mom and Dad chose me - they got stuck with you!" if the biological child ever gave the adopted child grief about being adopted. :)

"Are you sure you're not disappointing (Narasimha or Kristina) by not trying harder?"
We are 2 adults who are happily married and very much want the best for each other before ourselves individually. This is a decision that has been made to be the best, not for either of us individually, but for both of us together and as a family. This decision has not been made without much conversation and prayer, and many moments of sadness and tears about our missing children, and many moments of hope and happiness looking forward to what lies ahead for our family. This is no small decision and we do not take it lightly. May I encourage you that unless you have been "there" (whether "there" is infertility, dealing with sick family members, personal problems, financial difficulties, etc.) don't give advice to people who are dealing with "there" - just be encouraging. And if you can't do that, don't say anything at all. I am not saying that you are not allowed to lovingly raise important issues that may not have been considered/discussed. But if the people directly involved say "Yup, I've thought of that and I'm willing to deal with it," then believe them and let it go.

"Is this something your religion won't let you do?"
My religion isn't Baptist (although that's what it says on the church we attend) - my religion is being a follower of Jesus Christ, or "Christian." The Christian handbook is the Bible, and no, it doesn't say anywhere in the Bible that "Thou shall not do IVF." You can look - it's not in there. Through the Bible, however, we can learn Christian principles, and learn to know God better, and through those things we can feel like we are making decisions that would best please God. Though I don't think that fertility assistance measures necessarily fall under the category of black and white "sin" I think there are a lot of issues in fertility assistance that do count as "sin" and then a lot of gray area. I personally try to look at Christian living on a good-better-best continuum. Maybe before "good" would be not necessarily sin, but not good. That is where I would personally, especially for my life, place IVF. And then you have to be careful, because there are so many things that could push you into the "sin" category. I don't know why, with so many homeless children out there, I would make myself face these tough choices when I can get a child without doing so. I know from the Bible that God loves me and wants me to be happy, as a child of His. I also know He wants me to trust Him unconditionally for everything I want and need. I also know that if I wait and do things His way rather than try on my own, I will be much happier and more at peace with any outcome that happens (interesting Biblical parallel - read in Genesis 16 about Abraham and Sarah's infertility, and what they did about it, and how that turned out). I will choose to wait. Waiting doesn't mean doing nothing, and it doesn't necessarily mean not exploring options. I believe that adoption is in a sense taking things in our own hands. The difference here is that there isn't really anything about it that is "sin," and if we approach it prayerfully and still asking for God's blessing, we can have peace that this is what He intends for our family. My God is a God of love, and He wants us to manifest His love unconditionally, and adoption is one way I believe we can do that, and make Him happy and still get what we want, which is a family.

Yikes, that's a lot of info for one post. This will probably be about the last time I talk about fertility assistance - I just wanted to set the record straight. My identity will continue to be defined by infertility, and also now as an (potential) adoptive parent. I know this is long - I hope it was helpful for you, no matter how much you know about infertility or issues surrounding it.

May Narasimha and I continue to want to please our God more than anyone else, and may God be honored by this issue of infertility/adoption in our lives.

Puzzling Results - A Follow-up

2008-02-27T10:19:00.000-06:00

This post is a follow-up to a post I wrote back in November regarding some puzzling post-operative test results we received regarding our infertility. We have had more tests to get to the bottom of what was/is going on, and the result is that we still don't know. We have now been to 4 different institutions, to see whose results were close to each other, and what seemed more believable and reliable, and after all 4 different places, we still have no clear-cut answers. Basically, two places have values that are similar to each other, and the other two places have values that are similar to each other, but the gap in the 2 and 2 values is huge, and not at all consistent.

The moral of the story: it doesn't really matter. We are still not pregnant, and that is the bottom line. It never did matter - I just wanted to see if someone was blatantly lying to us (specifically: the institution that performed the surgery).

No matter what the test results: we still could get pregnant someday. Modern medicine, in either scenario, would tell us that we will need some sort of fertility assistance to get pregnant. The difference there is what sort of assistance we would likely need - also a mute point since we have decided against that.

So, my conclusion: medicine is a science, but also sometimes a quack (maybe more often than not - who knows - another mute point). And my inner cynic comes to the surface :)

Details: Bringing Baby Home

2008-02-21T10:03:00.005-06:00

I started checking into the process of being able to bring the baby back into the US. It isn't as easy as I'd hoped (I don't know why I was thinking it would be - duh!). As far as I know, the adoption part and getting the child from India isn't any harder (thankfully). It's just the part of getting the child able to enter the US with us when we come to bring it home. Yesterday I went to the USA Govt's website and just looked at the International Adoption page, and wow, there are a lot of details to consider, and a lot of stuff to do on a timeline, etc. I am still hoping to be able to do the work by myself and not hire a lawyer, but I sure wouldn't want to screw anything up. By the time I get done, I should be eligible for a law degree myself :) There are some things about our situation that will likely make things slightly less complicated, but almost in the same breath, more difficult too. Sounds contradictory - I know.

On another note, an update about us and our decisions: We have decided after much prayer and conversation that we will tell the orphanage/Indian Govt that we will accept a child, pending our final approval, with medical needs. Right now we have no idea what that will entail - what will be wrong, the age or gender of the child, etc. We will likely get an older-than-newborn child, but I don't know how much older. I actually don't know how they chose a child to give you if you are sidestepping the normal routine of just waiting in line for a healthy newborn. I am pretty sure it isn't like baby shopping, where we go in and point and say "That one." Obviously this hasn't been decided in the last 2 days since my previous post - this has been in the back of our minds for a while. Now I can just say that we have actually talked through the issues, like why now on a first child instead of on a subsequent child, why would we take an older child the first time around, how will this affect our marriage and ability to be good parents, etc. I am not saying that we think this will be easy (dealing with everything when Baby is home with us) - but we do feel confident that this is something God is calling us to do. That's enough reason for me to be at peace with the situation.

And, we have also decided that besides general adoption details/timeline, we don't want to tell any of the specifics of our potential child until we are in India and the child is physically in our arms and the whole thing is done. There are many reasons for this...so we won't be telling gender, age, name (which we already have picked out), medical problems, etc, until we are sure that the information we are giving out is about our child - not details about a little person who could end up not working out.

Please be in prayer for us as we continue to make decisions and process information and do the busy work, and for our child - he or she may already be born.

Adoption: Starting the Process

2008-02-19T14:54:00.002-06:00

In a previous post (one from our India Trip I believe) I said that I would post some of the details of the start of our adoption process. Not much has actually happened since then, but I can post what I know as of right now.

When we were in India we went to an orphanage in Hyderabad, which is where Narasimha is from. We didn't actually expect to find anything out about our own potential adoption while we were visiting. Narasimha actually told the lady on the phone that we weren't interested in adopting right now, because if we would have told her we were, she likely wouldn't have let us come. And, he didn't lie to her - we were just going to check it out as maybe something to look into down the line, and see if the facility was someplace we could see taking a child out of and into our home. However, somehow when we were there, Narasimha started asking hypothetical questions about the process, and they ended up turning a little personal to our potential situation. I think the lady must have known we weren't trying to pull a fast one on her, so she was willing to answer all of our questions and turned out to be very helpful. I think they try to steer clear of foreigners thinking they can show up one day and walk out with a baby the next or something. Some of the things we learned from her (some of this might be a repeat from a previous post - sorry):
-There are restrictions on age, couple status, etc., of people who want to adopt. None of these restrictions should be a problem for us.
-First priority for placement goes to resident Indians; second priority goes to non-resident Indians; third priority goes to anyone else of any other nationality who meets other criteria. We would get to use Narasimha's non-resident Indian status (NRI) and be "second priority."
-The orphanage gets something like 9,000 applications for adoption a year.
-The waiting time to get a healthy baby is something like 2-5 years, depending on your priority status and the gender of child you want. I think that might be from the time the application is received or processed, but it could be from the time the homestudy is approved - I'm not sure.
-If you get a baby, you could have the baby as early as 3 months old, or even earlier.
-Children who come to the orphanage later than newborn, or babies or children with medical issues, are harder to adopt out. If a couple is willing to take an older child, or one with medical issues, they will put you on the fast-track for your homestudy and you could have a child within 6 months. These medical "issues" could range from mental retardation, to unfixed cleft palate, to heart defects, to umbilical hernias, etc.

That's sort-of the general information that comes to mind - now here's where we are:
-We have to fill out a packet of information and do some things and send it all in. Our packet then goes to a place in New Delhi to the national government for sorting and processing. Someone from the Indian Government who is here in the US (I think) will then contact us and set up a time to do a homestudy.
-I have called the US Government and left a message with someone about what we would need to do to get paperwork for the child to be able to enter the country. I think we might have a good situation here as far as N and I having different nationalities: we can get a baby faster from India through him, and we can get the baby into the States easier through my American citizenship. I have not yet heard back from them.
-I am not sure if I need to contact an adoption lawyer, although right now I haven't and don't see any reason to. Everything we have right now we can easily do on our own, and since the child would be coming from and Indian orphanage, I don't think we will have placement or custody issues - I am pretty sure the biological parents, when the child goes to the orphanage, relinquish their parental rights. And once we have it in the States, I don't think they could fight to get it back anyways.
-We have not yet decided what we want in a child. I know we don't care about gender (you don't get to pick that if it comes out of you). We have some serious talking and praying to do regarding the age and potential medical problems we are willing to accept. This is no light matter, and we want to be sure we are informed, but also let God lead us and not scare too easily. So many of the medical "issues" could be fixed with a surgery (simple or very complex) that a child might not be able to have in India, and I am not sure I am willing to disregard a child who has something wrong with him or her that could very well happen if we had a child biologically. We have also talked about the possibility of getting an older child (and our limit would likely be around 4 years old) because there is still a chance we could get pregnant. If we adopted an older child, and then got pregnant, there would still be some gap in our children's ages (which is what I would prefer).
-Praise the Lord! I actually called our insurance company today for something unrelated, and while I had the lady on the phone I decided to ask about how adopting a child with a known medical issue might affect coverage on that child under the presumption of "pre-existing condition" - that was one of the issues we decided we'd need to know about before accepting a child with a medical problem. She didn't know, so I got transferred around a bit, but the final answer I was given was that they would pay for anything, even in an older child, as they would if you birthed or adopted a newborn, keeping in mind our deductible and out-of-pocket max, etc. This is a HUGE blessing and quite encouraging, and I really think the insurance company is doing a good thing here that they wouldn't necessarily have to.
-I am not sure how little or much we will know about the child's past, family medical history, etc. We forgot to ask until now but I am sure there will be opportunities in the future.
-As I understand it, if we decided to go with an older child or one with medical issues, we could be parents by the end of 2008 :)

That's basically the gist of it - I have to get busy and get some paperwork and other things going. Then, I have to clean the house and get ready for the homestudy. And, as I said before, we have some serious praying and thinking to do regarding the aforementioned issues. God will lead, of that I am confident. I just want to be sure that we invite God into every step of this process. Please feel free to ask any questions if you have them. And we would very much appreciate your prayers for wisdom and discernment as we begin this very exciting journey!

Wait on the Lord

2008-02-18T11:05:00.004-06:00

Yesterday's sermon was a blessing, and I am really glad we braved the weather and made it, even if only for part of it. We got a call when we were getting ready and they said they were only doing one service (instead of Sunday School and Morning Worship) and that it was going to be in the middle of those two regular times. So, since we were planning on being on time to Morning Worship, we were going to be late. We finished getting ready very quickly, and then drove very slowly on the ice and blowing snow covered roads, and made it in about the middle of the service.

I think the title of the message must have been something like "Power in Christ." He directed us to Isaiah 40, which is a passage I have come to know well and really love, especially in light of our struggle with infertility. About the time I found out we were "infertile" I found this passage and spent a lot of time just reading, meditating, and processing the words of the passage (see my very lengthy initial thoughts here). Pastor was talking yesterday about how if we wait on the Lord, we can find our power through Christ in this way. That immediately took my mind to 2 Corinthians 12:9-10, which has also been a cherished passage to me, almost in the same breath as Isaiah 40:31. Actually, I listed the 2 Corinthians passage as the memory verse of the week (see sidebar) a week or so ago. Kinda funny - 2 Corinthians is where Pastor directed us next as well, and then to several other passages in mostly the New Testament (one of which is 2 Timothy 1:7 - which I am listing as the memory verse of the week this week).

It has been some time now that we have not been able to conceive. We have had differing reports regarding potential future success being able to ever conceive (from a medical perspective). Basically, we have come to the place where we try not to think about what medicine tells us is possible. We know that the God of the universe is able, without the help of modern medicine, to give us a baby (or child) in His time and His way. Even knowing this, sometimes it is harder than hard to be patient and remember that Someone much more powerful and in control than myself has this all under His plan. He understands my pain and frustration and sadness, and at the same time He has a plan for this situation. If we chose to joyfully wait on Him, we will be able to experience true peace that comes from God alone, and someday, we will have whatever His perfect plan has in store for our lives.

On the way home from church yesterday, Narasimha said that the service just confirmed in his mind our decision from the beginning to reject medical intervention for getting pregnant. After the service I just felt encouraged - it didn't really bring up anything I haven't thought before, but with our new adoption options, and more time spent missing motherhood, I just felt refreshed and reminded that this is in no accident, but is absolutely God's individualized and perfect plan for our lives.

In case you are reading this and don't have a Bible at your fingertips, I'd like to type the passages listed above...

Isaiah 40:28-31 Have you not known? Have you not heard? The everlasting God, the Lord, the Creator of the ends of the earth, neither faints nor is weary. His understanding is unsearchable. He gives power to the weak, and to those who have no might He increases strength. Even the youths shall faint and be weary, and the young men shall utterly fall, but those who wait on the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings like eagles, they shall run and not be weary, they shall walk and not faint. (NKJV)

2 Corinthians 12:9-10 And He said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for My strength is made perfect in weakness." Therefore most gladly I will rather boast in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me. Therefore I take pleasure in infirmities, in reproaches, in needs, in persecutions, in distresses for Christ's sake. For when I am weak, then I am strong. (NKJV)

A New Routine

2008-02-15T08:29:00.004-06:00

Narasimha and I are trying something new, and so far it is going pretty well. We have had a hard time getting into really any type of a routine since moving to M-town - between the India trip, and moving twice, and a new job, etc. So this week we joined the gym, and decided that we will do strength and resistance training in the mornings before Narasimha goes to work, and then do cardio in the evenings sometime. Getting on a schedule is great if you can keep it, and so far we're doing well. Although I'm not gonna lie - getting up at 5 or so is tough when you're more of a 9 kinda girl :) It has also been a blessing from a spiritual aspect - we give ourselves extra time in the morning so we can have breakfast together and then do a Bible study and spend time in prayer as a couple. I looked over my New Year's resolutions and this schedule could actually accomplish a few of them :) So, if it seems like I'm posting less, I am, as I get used to my new schedule and adjust to my new sleeping hours.

So Close

2008-02-11T10:45:00.001-06:00

We had a great weekend, although it went too fast! My favorite part of our busy weekend was the volleyball game I attended on Friday night. This game was played by the team I am volunteer coaching, and it was a lot of fun. We didn't win, though I thought we should have. I truly believe we were better than the other team in most ways. But it certainly wasn't a waste to go, even with no "W" at the end of the night. The girls have improved so much, and are so much fun to watch. It took us a little while (too long perhaps) to actually start playing - like a game and a half. We lost by only 2 points in what is the equivalent to volleyball overtime - a 5th game, with extra points. Narasimha wasn't able to go - he had to work, and the game was about 2 hours away. I told him he missed a good one. I didn't have much of a voice for most of Saturday, and my legs were sore from jumping around so much :) This just confirms what I have believed for some time now: volleyball is one of the very most fun things I can think of doing, no matter how you're involved or how it ends up turning out :)

India Trip 2008 - A Summary

2008-02-07T12:27:00.000-06:00

Have you ever done something, and then after the fact looked back and said "Why?" Well, unfortunately, that describes much of our India trip this time for me. Here's my confession.

We had some good times, and it was great to see my inlaws and spend time with Narasimha away from work and enjoying himself. However, for many reasons which I won't go into here, the trip was not really all that relaxing and proved to be almost more stressful probably than just staying home. By the end of the trip I thought, "I need a vacation!"

It's disappointing for me to look back and remember how I handled many of the situations that arose. Maybe some of them were out of my control, but that's somewhat irrelevant. There were times that I was ungracious, unloving, unthankful, and the list goes on and on. I am truly sorry for the way things turned out (and think I have apologized to all of the people involved). The worst part of all of this is that I fear that any Christian influence I had in the lives of many people I care deeply about (and people who have varying relationships with Christ) is probably ruined, or at least badly tainted. I profess to love Jesus, and then I go act like that - ouch.

There were good times, as you can see by the pictures I added. And, luckily, my memory of the bad times is fading, and as I look at all of the pictures of the trip, I remember mostly good things because we are smiling in all of the pictures.

So, as hazy as this post is, after a week and a half of thinking and processing the events that took place, I just wanted to report that I screwed up, and I fear more dire consequences than a wasted vacation.

I heard this song by Michael W. Smith the other day on the radio (I have heard it many times before as well) and it really hit home in light of many things that happened during the month of January thousands of miles away from where I sit right now.

Never Been Unloved
I have been unfaithful
I have been unworthy
I have been unrighteous
And I have been unmerciful

I have been unreachable
I have been unteachable
I have been unwilling
And I have been undesirable

And sometimes I have been unwise
I've been undone by what I'm unsure of
But because of You
And all that you went through
I know that I have never been unloved

I have been unbroken
I have been unmended
I have been uneasy
And I have been unapproachable

I've been unemotional
I've been unexceptional
I've been undecided
And I have been unqualified

Unaware
I have been unfair
I've been unfit for blessings from above
But even I can see
The sacrifice You made for me
To show that I have never been unloved

It's because of You
And all that You went through
I know that I have never been unloved

How true the words of this song are, and I'm going to go out on a limb here and say everyone who reads this post has felt this way at some point. It makes me feel better to know, especially right now, that God doesn't love me for who I am or what I do, but when God sees me, He sees Jesus as my intercessor. This has been a truly humbling experience.

More Pictures - Hyderabad

2008-01-31T10:39:00.001-06:00

Some fun from our time in Hyderabad.

The first day we were there. We brought the kids markers as gifts, so my sister and I colored with them.

Me learning how to ride the motor bike, with my brother-in-law and nephew and niece trying to keep up and make sure I don't crash (which I almost did :)

All of us on a boat, in a lake in Hyderabad called Hussein Sagar. We were going by boat out to the middle of the lake to see a giant Buddha statue.

All of us, in front of the giant Buddha statue. This is the largest monolithic (single-stone) Buddha in the whole world.

Shopping for pottery at an open-air market.

3 girls, at Golconda Fort.

Some of Hyderabad from the top of Golconda Fort.

Narasimha and his brother at Golconda Fort.

One of Hyderabad's most famous structures. It's called Charminar, and is in the Muslim part of town. It looks nice lit up at night.

More Pictures - Hyderabad, Part 2

2008-01-31T10:39:00.000-06:00

Continued...

In the part of town by Charminar - we are at a small (and fairly dirty) food shop, and Narasimha wanted to try his luck at not getting sick and eat a real, authentic Hyderabadi lassi. After this, he had another because it was so good. And he hasn't died yet :)

The night we went out to eat at our reception place - the Indians (Narasimha's dad and mom, his brother, him, and his brother's kids).

A few hours before we left - Narasimha playing with our niece.

And what good is it without someone to race? Now 2 brothers with 2 kids.

My mother-in-law :) She's so sweet and a lot of fun to be with, especially when we can understand each other.

We girls decided to each buy rings to commemorate our time in India. Mine is on the bottom - it's silver and blue topaz, and I got it in Northern India. My sister's is top right, and hers is silver with many small stones of different colors - also from North India. Her friend bought hers in Hyderabad, and is silver with something navy or deep purple.

Gifts I got from my inlaws while there. My mother-in-law gave me the saree. My father-in-law gave me money, and I bought a ring (see below). My brother in law gave me money also, and I picked a nice string of pearls and a white pashmina shawl.

My ring, from my father-in-law. It is white gold and diamonds.

Our souvenirs (not including the gifts we bought for others - wouldn't want to ruin the surprise :)

More Pictures - North India

2008-01-30T20:10:00.001-06:00

I can't seem to narrow down the pics as far as I'd like, so I will just post a lot :) North India will come today, and I'll do some extras from our time in Hyderabad tomorrow. Enjoy :)

Narasimha and I riding in the back of an auto rickshaw ("auto") - I had to sit on him because the girls were with us and it was tight :)

An open-air fish shop that we walked by in Delhi

Three girls from the top of a minna (or tower) at a mosque in Delhi - we were probably 10-15 stories up, and you can kinda see out in the background.

Narasimha and I enjoying a lassi (yogurt drink) at a restaurant in Delhi - these are the greatest!

3 girls in our open-air jeep, going toward our lodge in the tiger sanctuary. It was only probably 50 degrees (F) - and with the open top and movement, that feels chilly

A paw print of a REAL tiger - though we didn't see the tiger, we knew where it was from the warning calls of all the animals around us. We came close to seeing 3 tigers during our day or so in the sanctuary (yikes!).

Us getting on our elephant the morning of our safari - her (the elephant's) name was Lakshma.

The dense forest we saw and trekked through during our elephant safari. It was really cool.

The watchtower we stayed on for 2 hours out all by ourselves in the forest (or jungle, or whatever it was). It was probably 4 stories high, and when our driver left, he said to come down before he came back "at our own risk." We were technically looking for tigers, which we didn't see, but we did see wild boars, like a million birds, crocodiles and alligators, deer, and monkeys. Actually, one monkey climbed the tower and tried to steal my purse (not kidding).

More Pictures - North India, Part 2

2008-01-30T20:10:00.000-06:00

Continued...

The view from the top of the watchtower (see last picture of previous post).

Narasimha and I looking at an astronomy and astrology thing in Jaipur - there were some pretty cool things here.

I was going to wave to the girls from this hallway so they could take a pic. Turns out the wall was higher than I thought, but we still made the shot (and then my sister's friend came over to take a pic of how we got the shot :) - at a fort in Jaipur.

Me walking through a very small doorway at a castle in Jaipur.

Some snake charmers (and real snakes) on the street in Jaipur.

Girls shopping in Jaipur - my sister went a little pillowcase crazy on this trip, and this store was where the frenzy started.

Have you ever been in a traffic jam, not in a zoo, and looked over and saw an elephant beside you? :)

Narasimha and I on the "Diana Bench" - named for Princess Diana - at the Taj Mahal.

The final resting place of Mahatma Gandhi, in Delhi.

Feels Good to be Home...

2008-01-28T09:16:00.000-06:00

But boy, is it ever cold here! We traveled from Hyderabad without problems. Our first flight to Amsterdam was right around 10 hours, we had about 1 hour layover, and our second flight to Chicago was around 8 or so hours. My parents picked us up in Chicago, which was really nice of them so we didn't have to worry about being able to stay awake to drive all the way back to Iowa. I was so happy to see all the dogs, and they seemed happy to see us too :) Now the name of the game will be laundry, paperwork, and all the stuff I should have done before we left but didn't have a chance to. I am so excited to go to volleyball practice again, and get back in the regular routine of things. Of course we had a great time, and miss Narasimha's family when we don't get to see them for so long, but there's nothing like getting back and sleeping in your own bed! I will try to post more of our pictures sometime this week.

Mehendi and Sarees - "Real" Indian Women

2008-01-25T10:50:00.000-06:00

This morning we got up fairly early so we could get the Indian art "mehendi" (or "henna") drawn on our hands and feet. There are women who learn how to do this and it truly is an art - they use no pattern other than what's in their head. It took the girl about 3.5 hours to do mine alone, and then maybe 45 mins or so for each of the girls. You can kind-of tell them what you want, but with the language gap and translators, you are basically at their mercy :) Mine turned out well I thought. I have one hand that is fully done, and one with some spaces open. On one ankle I have almost a tattoo look, and then the other foot is fairly full. I have gotten it done the other two times I have been here before, but I think I like the final product this time the best out of my 3 tries. The girl was a little slow in application I thought, but she was quite detail-oriented and artistic. To my knowledge it doesn't have any religious ties, unless you had like a god drawn on or something. Basically, Indian women are the most decorated people I have ever seen, and this is just another way they do it. It was fun. It goes on like puffy-paint, and then you let it dry and sit for a while and wash it off. It stays for a few weeks.

Me getting my mehendi applied

Patiently waiting, and trying not to touch anything :)

My hands

Again...

My right ankle - my other foot is done too, and you can kinda see it in the second picture above.

...

Then this evening we all went out to eat at the same place Narasimha and I had our wedding reception at 3.5 years ago. We three American girls all dressed in sarees - traditional Indian woman dress. They are tough to put on and even tougher to wear if you are planning on moving around at all. It just isn't anything we in the US would be used to. But they are beautiful, and come in all sorts of colors and patterns. The girls borrowed some that I have from my last trip in 2005, and I wore one that my mother-in-law gave me this trip. Mine is a special kind of paper-thin silk and it is a beautiful blue, and really brought out the color in my eyes. Wearing my saree also gave me a chance to wear my gold jewelry that goes along with it, so that was fun. So, all 3 of us have had our fun this trip being "real" Indian women for a while :)

Me and Narasimha at the restaurant (and my sis and her friend beside us)

Me and my mother-in-law (attayyagaaru)

3 white chics in sarees, and my niece being a goof :)

Almost More Than I Can Take

2008-01-24T10:31:00.000-06:00

In the last 2 days, we have visited 3 orphanages here in Hyderabad. I had mentioned it back in December to the girls as something we might be able to do during our time in Hyderabad, and they both thought it sounded like something they'd be interested in doing- as a way to get a sort-of comprehensive rather than just tourist view of India. I knew it would be tough - with the whole infertility thing in mind - but back then I had empty faces of children in my head - those who I might meet, where now I have beautiful little faces looking back at me when I close my eyes. Faces who are sad and searching, and very lonely. Faces who are timid to shake your hand but brighten at just a smile or pat on the back. It was hard, but I don't know that it was any harder than I thought it would be. I expected before I went that it would "hurt" to see so many kids in a situation like that, infertile or not.

The first one we went to was a private orphanage for females only. The girls there ranged from 4-16 years, and I think they currently have 76 residents. We went right as the younger girls were getting back from school. As a formality we talked to the headmaster for a while, who answered questions we thought of. He told us what we already suspected - most of the girls there had parents who had died, or who had to give them up because they were too poor to feed them. Here the girls have the luxury (and I'm not kidding) of sleeping inside, receiving medical care, going to school, eating regularly, and not being on the streets and begging for money or food. After talking to the adults, they took us into a small meeting room where they put all 5 of us (Narasimha, my sister, her friend, Narasimha's brother, and me) in chairs at the front of an assembly-type room, with all the kids seated in perfect rows in front of us. I think I counted around 40 girls. First they sang a few songs for us (religious Hindu, and in a language I couldn't understand), and then they went around and each and every one of them stood up and said their name and year in school. The littlest ones were closest to the front. Then we got a tour of the facilities. It was nice. The rooms were clean, although no air conditioning. After our tour we got to go out into the front yard where many of them were playing (again, just the younger ones that we had seen in the assembly hall - I think the older girls may still have been at school). We got to take pictures and I shook hands with many of them, and said "Namaste" which is "Hello." I asked the headmaster (who seemed like a simple but kind man) if the girls there get adopted out. He said no, almost never. I was talking to my sister about this, and she said it might be almost better that way. She has a point. Many people when adopting don't want such old kids, and if the kids don't expect to be adopted, then they won't be disappointed, or place their personal worth on who gets chosen faster or who has to wait, etc. I have parts of the moving "Annie" running through my head (which I wouldn't recommend watching necessarily if you've never seen it - it isn't as good without someone there to distract you and fast-forward through the yucky scenes like my mom did when I was little and watched it) where the girls in that orphanage think only the pretty girls get permanent homes, and the rest of the girls feel bad about themselves. Seems like a really terrible popularity contest. Anyways, all things considered, it was a decent place, and so much better for these girls than living on the streets. Past residents of the facility have even been married off, and it seems like the people who run the place are pretty protective of the girls who are marrying and cognizant of relevant issues, etc. I think overall the organization was reputable and I felt good leaving with the girls playing tag and other games together and running and laughing in the background. One more issue of note: the orphanage was a strictly Hindu facility.

...

This 6-foot-tall picture is a Hindu god that greets you as you first enter the orphanage.

The (younger) girls enjoy a snack after school.

This is beside the building, and is where the little girls bathe each night. They have to do it here because they don't have room enough inside, and the workers need to keep a close eye on the littlest ones to make sure they get clean, and don't get infections or skin problems.

A few of the girls were playing a game with small rocks, throwing them in their hands. I don't know what it was, but it looked like they had played many times before.

The front yard, where they were running and playing tag. It seemed like they all got along and had fun together.

...

The second place we visited was right after the first. It was about a mile away, and this was a facility for boys. The age range of the boys was 5-13 yrs I think, and there were less than 20 residents. We first met the man who ran the place and talked for a few minutes. We then repeated the assembly hall thing from the last place, but this time we all sat on the floor in a straight line with all the boys in a single straight line in opposite us. They sang us some songs, and then introduced themselves and their grade in school as well. Then the headmaster man picked out a few kids and had them recite some specific things for us. The second little guy who got "picked on" was just adorable, and quite ironically had on a shirt that said something about "mum and dad." He was 5, and quite short, and his name was Ramu. Also, he had recently stepped on a nail so he had a bandaged foot and was unable to bear weight on that foot. He sang songs for us like "Twinkle Twinkle Little Star" and "ABC" and a few other English songs. I don't know if he knew what he was saying, but he did well and it was cute. Looking at his sad face and listening to him recite these things brought tears to my eyes. I did not get such good "vibes" about this place. First, the headmaster had this mad-scientist look to him, and he creeped me out. Plus, it didn't seem like the boys liked him much - almost like they were afraid of him. These boys, like the first place, have no expectation of being adopted. This place is also exclusively Hindu.

Little Ramu reciting something for us - he's the guy with the hurt foot :(

The dining room.

An activity they do at the end of every day to lower the flag (I think what you're seeing is the equivalent of our saluting).

...
Neither of these places had babies and I wanted to know why, and I also wanted to see some babies. At the first place we asked why there were no babies/toddlers. They told us that the government keeps all babies at a government-run (as opposed to private like the 2 I have already mentioned) orphanage. I am sure this is to make sure there is no illegal selling of babies for adoption on the private level. The government orphanage is where young kids go - I think if they are under 4 when they first come to the orphanage then they go to the government one. If they don't get adopted out by the time they are between 4- to 6-years-old, then they are transferred to a private orphanage like ones we visited (there are of course many more than just the 2) or if there is no space in any of them, into a juvenile home of sorts, which we heard is not as good. From what I have gathered, they do not have a foster system here. We asked my brother-in-law to call this baby orphanage and see if we could get a tour. He called, and there were some hoops to jump through. We had to get special permission from a certain lady, and she wasn't answering her phone. So we took off for our day not really expecting much. We were almost to our first place (we were going to an art gallery) when "the lady" called us back. She said if we wanted, we could come right then. So we turned around and headed to see the babies.

The lady who called us to come was there when we got there. She was kind and answered all of our questions. She said that all the babies who do not have health, physical, or mental problems get adopted out right away - they get several thousand applications per year, from Indians and others. Apparently any child under age 3 is easy to adopt out (as long as they are free from the aforementioned problems). After the 3rd birthday, or with problems, is hard(er). We then got to tour the building. The first room we went into was for babies under 6 months. There were probably at least 40 babies. Many of these were probably awaiting placement (that made it more bearable to see all of them). We weren't allowed to take pics at this facility at all (unfortunately, though I can understand why), but we were allowed to touch the kids. The babies did not feel the effects of our language gap. I leaned over several of the awake babies and smiled and waved my fingers in front of their faces and told them what pretty girls they were (they were almost all girls - boys are in higher demand), and they all smiled so big. I picked one little girl up and talked to her, and she promptly stuck her tongue out at me through her grin - so cute! I bet we spent 20 mins in just that room. The room was clean and fairly well-staffed. No unsettling cries going unanswered (for which I was thankful). We continued our tour and went to many other rooms. I saw kids that looked healthy, some with visible umbilical hernias, a little girl with beautiful eyes and an unfixed cleft palate, and several children who were very small for their said age who the lady said had cardiac issues. Their faces all lit up when they saw us, and they ran toward us and huddled around as we talked and toured. One little girl who was 7 and very small and thin for her age due to a heart problem grabbed my hand and ran her hand all the way up my arm to my shoulder, and then just stood there an looked at me, smiling. I shook many slimy hands. I held my tears back several times, though the closest I came to actually crying was when a little boy who was probably 2 or 3 pushed and sprinted through all the other kids around us and ran straight to Narasimha and grabbed onto N's leg in the biggest little boy bear hug, and then held on tight with this adorable goofy grin. It was so sweet but almost more than I could take. We finished our tour and saw many of the 190 or so kids in probably around an hour. Narasimha asked the lady many questions about the adoption process, all of which she patiently answered. We now feel quite well-informed. Narasimha finally asked me if I was ready to go, and I said no, that I wanted to stay and play all day, but ok.

On the way out we stopped at a separate govt office and picked up an adoption application, and asked more questions. I will post more about the beginning of our adoption journey later, but at this point I think it is safe to say that it has started, even if it barely has at this point.

Lazy Vacation

2008-01-22T22:25:00.000-06:00

I haven't been reporting lately, basically because there isn't much to report. Not that we aren't having a good time, but we are doing what I dream of doing on vacation: sleeping in, some light sightseeing, slow days, shopping, and spending time with Narasimha's family. Basically, since we got back from North India, we have been doing a few things each day, like shopping or sightseeing in Hyderabad. Yesterday we went to a fort here in Hyd, and today we were going to go on a day trip and see some cool stuff, but we were pretty wiped out after yesterday (we all even got a little sunburn), so we slept in. We have been watching some movies in the evenings and playing some card games. One evening Narasimha and I actually went out to dinner with 2 guys he went to medical school with here in India, and that was fun. When we were doing that, Narasimha's brother and the girls did some shopping together and went out for ice cream. We have 4 days left - not much for plans. Whatever we think of I guess. There are a few more things on our list that we were going to try to do - let's see how that works out :)

India Vacation Pics

2008-01-17T09:36:00.000-06:00

I know I said that I wasn't going to post pictures until we got back to Iowa, but I got antsy to share. I love pics and these are so much fun (although not the best we have - I have to hold on to something). We have taken something like 800, and I narrowed it down to 10. Here are some of the highlights of our trip so far.

Our niece and Narasimha, the first day we got here - on the terrace above Narasimha's parent's house.

My sister, me, my sister's friend, and Narasimha - riding on the back of a bicycle rickshaw - in New Delhi as we were sightseeing.

All 4 of us, during our elephant safari. I look so bad because this was the day I was sick.

Narasimha and I - at a castle in Jaipur.

All 4 of us at the Taj Mahal (in Agra).

Narasimha, our nephew, and I - flying a kite together for the holiday on the neighbor's roof in Hyderabad.

Narasimha drinking the coconut water straight from the source - at Narasimha's dad's factory.

The girls in our Punjabi suits, at the farm. We found these lovely flowers that smelled just like perfume, and later found out they are called Oleanders. They are just beautiful!

We 3 girls, with my nephew and niece, and our new friends :)

Narasimha, me, the girls, Narasimha's brother, and our nephew and niece (you can't see her because she's asleep on the bench beside Narasimha) eating fried stuff and milkshakes at a great little ice cream shop here in Hyderabad.

Making Friends

2008-01-17T09:08:00.000-06:00

The last few days have been my idea of vacation - spending time with family and mostly just relaxing. We have been able to go to the park and play around. This morning when we were there, we even acquired some extra little boys to play with us - we played tag, red light green light, freeze tag, etc. It was fun, and I think we made those 7 extra little boys' day. Playing like that is as much what I was looking forward to in this trip as even seeing the Taj and all the other cool sightseeing we have done. Yesterday we went to Narasimha's dad's factory and got a tour - which was cool. In the three times I have been to India, I have never gotten a tour out there. I also learned how to drive a motor bike and I didn't even crash once, although I think I almost did :) I don't know that I am quite ready to take to the very busy Hyderabad roads just yet. Today we also went on a boat and rode to a small island in a lake here in Hyderabad called Hussein Sagar, and saw a very large statue of Buddha. Now tonight we're going to chill and watch a movie I think.

India Info

2008-01-16T10:24:00.000-06:00

Here's a little info about India - some stuff you might be wondering about our trip. Some of it pertains to our trip - some is just general trivial-pursuit type info for those who are interested.

-Time difference: Right now it's 11.5 hours ahead of Iowa, but they don't do the daylight savings thing so during the summer months it's only 10.5 hours ahead. The whole country is on one time zone. And I am not sure where the ½ hour comes from - I thought time zones were in full hours but I guess not. By the way - when I write my posts, I leave them in Iowa time (for the post time) when I'm here.
-The national language is Hindi (different than the religion Hindu), but the language of Narasimha's house is called Telugu, which is unique to the state he is from, called Andhra Pradesh. That is the language I would like to learn so our kids could learn as they grow up. There are about 30 different languages spoken in India, with many geographical variations of each.
-Narasimha's family lives in a city called Hyderabad - it is India's 5th largest city, and has around 10 million people. One thing Hyderabad is best known for is software engineering.
-We are currently staying with Narasimha's family in their house. This consists of both of his parents and his older brother and his family. His older brother has 2 kids - a 9-year-old son and a 4-year-old daughter. Narasimha also has a younger brother, but he and is wife live in the States.
-India has like 1.1 billion people, and is about 1/3 the size of the US. Last I heard, I think America's population is around 300 million.
-Hyderabad is closer to the equator than Mexico City. It's winter here right now, but quite mild compared to Iowa. I think the nights might get down to mid-60's, and I think the days get to the mid- to high-90's, or maybe more. I know, it's not fair :)
-The main religions of India are Hinduism and Islam (Muslim). Narasimha's family is Hindu, and is in the top caste called Brahmin - the caste of priests. There are other religions of course: Buddhist, Sikh, Christian, Catholic, and others I'm sure.

There's so much more - I can't remember everything that strikes me when I come. Feel free to ask a question if you have one. I love the culture and am happy to share what I know (and if I don't know, I have more than a few people I can ask :) And, my disclaimer, all the above information is from my memory, so if it's wrong, sorry.

Happy Sankranthi!

2008-01-15T12:54:00.001-06:00

Today was the holiday "Sankranthi" - and because we're in India, we celebrated with my in-laws. This is the holiday of flying kites. We went up to the terrace on top of Narasimha's family's house, which didn't end up being tall enough to get any wind. So then we went up onto the roof of an apartment building across the street. Basically, everyone has these kites made out of like tissue paper, and then you tie them to this special string that has crushed glass glued to it. And the point is, all these people are flying their kites at the same time, and you try to "cut" the kites of others. You make your string run into their string hard enough to literally cut it (with the glass) and then they lose their kite. There's probably some skill involved in actually getting your kite into the air and making it stay there, but beyond that, you are pretty much at the mercy of the wind and whatever way it decides to blow. We had 2 kite fatalities and then had to come in for dinner :) Narasimha kept telling his mom "Just 5 more minutes." I'm sure she's heard that before, as have I :) I am sure the holiday has some sort of Hindu ties, but I don't know what it is...kind of like Christmas (sadly) is in America, the religion behind it wasn't necessary to fly the kite. My mother-in-law also gave me a beautiful bright blue/turquoise saree made out of a special silk as a gift for the holiday. I will try to wear it here before I return to the States.

A Week in North India

2008-01-14T12:32:00.000-06:00

Wow - I'm exhausted. Now that was a whirlwind trip. I will try to add pics of the whole trip when we get back to Iowa, but for now, here's a summary of what we've been doing for our first week or so here. I would have posted along the way but our internet access has been very limited. Plus, we've practically been going too much and too fast to take a breath.

Monday, Jan 7: We got up early and headed to the train station in Hyderabad. We got on a 27-hour (or so) train to Delhi. It was our own small room, with 2 beds that folded down on the top to make 2 sets of bunk beds. It was fun because we saw a lot of countryside out the window, and also nice for the jetlag to be able to rest and relax and even nap a bit when we wanted. Unfortunately I was not in that great of a mood for whatever reason (now I can't remember why) so that of course made everything a little less fun :( I ended up sleeping from about mid-afternoon until early the next morning.

Tuesday, Jan 8: The train arrived in Delhi maybe mid-morning. We expected to get off and clean up and get ready in a locker room in the train station, and then pay to store our bags there, but that is not how it worked out. We ended up renting this cheap hotel (2 rooms actually - they wouldn't let us all 4 go in one, even though we weren't even staying overnight - we just wanted to use the bathroom for like an hour) where we showered in cold water, and it was seriously in the ghetto. We walked like a mile down this tiny alley with people following us frighteningly close and staring like we had 4 heads with rainbow-colored hair. I was not in a good mood for a good chunk of this day either. Once we got cleaned up by early afternoon we went to a few tourist attractions in the city (although we had a hard time leaving our bags in those rooms!). We went to a fort and a mosque. We had a good time at the places we visited. This day, by far, was the worst day of the trip - we were all a little tense (ask my sister about her fun with the mouse). That night, we caught an overnight train a small city close to China (within maybe 60 miles) called Ramnagar. The train was a sleeper train, this time with triple-decker bunk beds but no room/door. We were together with the whole car.

Wednesday, Jan 9: We arrived early morning in Ramnagar, and a shuttle service picked us up at the station. By 8:00 we were outside the entrance to Corbett National Park (a tiger sanctuary). The govt. worker who was supposed to let us in was on time for "Indian Standard Time" (one hour late), so by about 9:00 or 9:30 we were on our way into the sanctuary. We had rented an open-air jeep and a driver, so it felt quite authentic. Our room was a few hours drive into the park (called Dhikala). When we got there, we showered (cold again) and got ready for our day. By this time it was around noon. For some reason I was not feeling well, so I rested when everyone else got lunch. By mid-afternoon, we were ready to go on a jeep safari looking for the tigers. By this point I was sick and actually had a fever, but how do you pass up a real-live safari :) So I drug my warmest clothes and my blanket out and sat in the cold jeep. It really was cold, but fun. We got really close to seeing a tiger a few times that day, but never actually did. We saw a bunch of other cool stuff and animals though. By the time we got back, I was miserable. I went straight to bed and slept all the way until the next morning. There was no heater in the room, so Narasimha convinced them to give us a small stove for cooking to put beside my bed - it was sooo cold, which is no fun when you're sick!

Thursday, Jan 10: We woke up by 6:00 and went out to begin our tiger safari riding the elephants. All 4 of us fit on one (plus a driver). It lasted 2 hours, and we almost saw a tiger we thought, but our guide said the people on the elephant behind us were too loud and it probably got scared and ran away. Bummer. Even with no tiger, it was still cool enough to be worth it. We were really in the jungle. When we got back, we chilled for the rest of the morning, and then had lunch, and then headed out to this really big stand in the jungle where we sat just the 4 of us several stories up on this platform and just watched and waited to see stuff. We saw a bunch of birds, wild boars, monkeys, deer, and even an alligator swimming in the river. We had quite the experience when one of the monkeys climbed the stand and tried to attack us - it was actually pretty funny once we got him down. After 2 hours on the stand we headed out of the park, sometime mid-afternoon. We took the long way hoping to see a tiger but no luck. We got back into town, had dinner, and did a little souvenir shopping. Then we caught another night train back to Delhi. This time we had a snorer on top of our bunks, and none of us got a whole lot of sleep that night :(

Friday, Jan 11: We jumped off the train in Delhi, which arrived late, and caught a cab to go across town (not really all the way - just a little across) and hurried to our next train which left only one hour later. We caught that train with little time to spare. We rode that to Jaipur and got off there sometime around late morning. We made it to our hotel just before lunch, and we were in love! It was very clean, didn't smell like mold, the sheets and the towels were dry, and the water was hot (for everyone but Narasimha) - all of those in stark contrast to the day before. We caught an auto (small open-air 3-wheel vehicle that comfortably sits the driver and 3 in the back) and went to a big palace in the middle of the city, an outdoor palace thing for astronomy, and a pink palace. At the city palace we were also able to do some shopping. That night we went to a special Rajasthani dinner - complete with some traditional dance and music (a show, not us). That night we all slept well, and warm :)

Saturday, Jan 12: We got up fairly early and visited 3 forts on the outside of the city for past rulers - these were pretty amazing. The girls got to "ride" a camel on the road. We finished our "pink city" sightseeing and caught a train late in the afternoon. We rode for about 5 hours, and arrived in Agra. Our hotel was cute, but again, no hot water. We slept like rocks.

Sunday, Jan 13: We got up early (again) and went first thing to the Taj Mahal. Of course no matter who you are or where you live you know what this world-renowned beauty is. It was everything we expected, and we spent like an hour or so walking around. Not only is there the outside structure, but you can go in and walk around on the inside (that only takes a few minutes) and there are a few outlying structures, and a river. After the Taj we went to a fort called Agra Fort and stumbled around a bit. It was cool too (you can see a theme - we went to a lot of forts and now I am having a hard time being able to distinguish between them in my head). We went and ate lunch, and then headed toward Delhi by a small van we rented (and driver). On the way we stopped at a famous mosque still in Agra. After that we drove to Delhi, which took around 4 hours. We got there and finally found our hotel (it's a big city). That night we all had warm showers, and space heaters in our rooms! We (again) slept like rocks.

Monday, Jan 14: We slept in a little this morning - felt a little more vacation-y :) We got up in our own time and headed out to see some sights. Delhi is the capitol of India, so there were many political sights to see. We started at a sight with the tallest minaret in India, and this place had many cool ruins of buildings. Then we drove by a place called Lotus temple, but couldn't get in because it was closed on Monday. Then we went to the street that has the India gate, and saw stuff like the president's house, and parliament buildings, etc. Then we went to the place where Indira Gandhi was assassinated, but that too was closed on Monday. Then we went to the cemetery where Mahatma Gandhi (the "Gandhi" you've heard of) and Rajiv and Indira Gandhi (who were two assassinated Indian presidents) are buried. Then we did a little shopping, and got some dinner at a western bread store. Then we went to the hotel to gather our bags, and headed to the airport to return to Hyderabad. We got back to Hyderabad late, to return finally to familiar environment.

The trip was great, but we are so happy that we did the away week first so we can relax and have a restful vacation for the rest of our time here, instead of go go going all the time. I think I took something like 750 pics in that one week, if that tells you how cool some of the stuff was.

Good to be Back

2008-01-06T07:24:00.001-06:00

We are here! We got to India last night (Sunday morning) at about 1:15 am. The rest of our time at Amsterdam was uneventful. We boarded the plane, and found out that the plane was fairly empty, so we were able to share 3 seats for 2 people, which was nice to spread out. Also, the plane ended up leaving about 30 mins early, so we got here a little early. The trip was mostly uneventful - just a lot of waiting and getting very tired. So finally on the plane, after being awake for almost 48 hours straight (that might be my personal record, although that certainly wasn't what I was going for) I passed out and slept hard for much of the 9 or so hour flight. Actually, I think all 4 of us slept most of the way. We got to Hyderabad, as did all of our luggage, and made it to Narasimha's family's home without any real hang-ups or excitement, besides my ankles feeling like basketballs. We were very happy to see everyone after 2.5 years since we were here last. We talked for a while, and headed to bed early this morning. We slept in a little, but then got up and gave the family our gifts, and have enjoyed playing with the kids and catching up with everyone. This afternoon we ventured into the city to do some shopping, and went to a park close to the house and went for a walk. The weather here is just right - probably about 75-80 right now. So tonight we will catch up the rest of the way with the jet lag, and get ready for our mini-trip for which starts tomorrow morning and lasts for 1 week. We're getting acclimated to the ambiance of this country, and I think the girls are enjoying their first time out of North America.

Half-way there...

2008-01-05T03:47:00.000-06:00

We arrived in Amsterdam just a little while ago. Last night when we got on the plane in Chicago, it took a long time to actually take off - I think we ended up actually taking off over 2 hours late (sitting on the plane for at least an hour without moving). I guess we ended up gaining some ground because we had a strong tailwind apparently. Plus, it didn't really matter when we took off, as long as we made our connection - we'd be waiting somewhere anyways. When we finally ended up taking off, I was very tired, but it was like 8:00 am Hyderabad time, so I made myself stay awake the whole flight. It has now been something like 44 hours since I have slept. We are supposed to take off for Hyderabad in like 2 hours, and the flight lasts almost 9 hours. I will be sleeping on this next flight :) At least then it will be evening/night Hyderabad time and I won't mess up what I've tried to do for my sleep schedule. We are to arrive in Hyderabad at 1:45 Sunday am local time, which is 2:15 Saturday pm Iowa time. So far the trip has been mostly exhausting, but we are all getting excited to get there!

India, Here We Come!!!

2008-01-04T16:40:00.000-06:00

We just got to Chicago and checked in our luggage. There was a slight problem with our tickets, and other than not getting the seats we were originally assigned, and wanted, everything turned out ok. Our flight is delayed an hour. I think it takes something like 7 hours to get to Amsterdam and then a 5 or so hour layover, and then another 8 or so hours to get to Hyderabad India. We are excited to go (of course). Our dogs are at home with friends from church who are living at our house while we are gone. We are really thankful they could do this - makes our trip much less stressful not having to think about what's going on at home as much. Last night was crazy for Narasimha and I as we packed - we were up all night (literally - no sleep at all) and when we were finally done in the morning, our bags were too heavy, so we had to drop weight and repack and use some of the girls' space (my sister and her friend are going with us and somehow packed very light). So currently we are eating at the food court at the airport, and then we will go through security and wait for the plane. I will try to keep posting about our journey details, and try to add some pics of our fun. We have a busy itinerary planned for the next few weeks - stay tuned :)